Need to get this all out

Kelly: I'm flying solo for this post. My mind is scrambling right now and I need to just get it all out in the open in hopes that it'll make me feel better. My hands are visibly shaking due to worry, frustration and honestly, a bit of relief. I just returned from another podiatry consult about my ankle. So for the half-dozenth time, I explained my whole scenario, starting back in February of 2010. I knew right from the get-go that this doctor was different. He wasn't going to give me just another cookie-cutter response and send me on my way this time. One of the first questions I was asked was for the MRI report. Yeah, like I have that laying around. Luckily, I remembered the name of the place and it was faxed over. First part of the frustration; I heard the report for the first time...TODAY. I had the MRI done in January.

Second part of the frustration comes now. The affected tendon in my ankle has been torn...this entire time. Not badly, but still. It's been torn slightly. I'm just wondering for these people...would that have been so hard to tell me? NO. I don't think so. Ok, enough about that. I'm talking to my best friend right now and my mood is lifting. But...still. I wouldn't be hurting as much if you know, they hadn't failed to tell me that from the get go. Ok, anyway. So here's what the doctor told me: to prevent further tearing, I am stuck in a brace until....I get the ok from my insurance for a repeat MRI.

This is where the worry comes in. If the problem has gotten worse, there's one and only one solution; surgery. Recovery time is 6 to 8 weeks. Physical therapy will follow. I don't even want to think about all of that right now; all the class work I'm going to have to get caught up in, all the work hours I might miss, that's the worry. The hardest year of my major....and now...THIS. Just when I thought things couldn't get any more stressful. So here's what I'm going to do until then; PRAY...constantly! Monday, talk to my teachers and keep them in the loop as much as possible. Consult with Holly as soon as she gets back from teaching lab. Call my folks this weekend to let them know. Tell people at church on Sunday. Try to keep myself from calling the MRI place and screaming at them...yeah, not going to help. Try not to think about the worst-case scenario and hope for the best. Keep the pain at bay as much as I am able. Enjoy the free time I have this weekend. Marvel at the fact that in 2 WEEKS I will be enduring quite possibly the BEST NIGHT of my entire life!!! Laugh at the silly things and thank God when I wake up each morning.

I just wanted to inform all of you what is going on. I'm doing all right right now; just finished talking with my best friend, which always helps. My advice to all of you is this, if you think there's something going on with you, investigate it. DO NOT STOP. Do not stop until you are at a point where you can go through your daily life and not be in pain, or whatever. You know yourself better than anybody; you owe it to yourself to explore the problem. Don't settle for just a "do this do that" response. Ok, that's all. I will let you all know when I hear back from when my repeat MRI is and then we'll just take it from there. Thanks for caring. I love you all. :]