The attraction of negativity

Kelly: Picture this; you read something on Facebook about so and so's rant about x topic/place/person. There's a slew of "right on's!" and "you tell them!" and "you're right!"  You see a friend of yours crying because they're upset something didn't go right, then a few people gather around, hug them, tell them everything's ok. You work with kids/teenagers and one of them starts throwing a fit, so all of a sudden all of your attention has to go away from everyone who's behaving themselves to the one person who's acting out. 

Does any of this sound familiar to any of you? I'm guessing probably so. 

So now picture this; you see someone walking down the street, and they're happy go lucky, not a care in the world. You walk on by and let them be without asking. You read something on Facebook about how so and so had a good day. Chances are, you probably just skipped right over it and didn't even think about it. 

And now I've probably got you thinking. Have you noticed that in today's world, attention goes on negative attitudes/behaviors? Or is that just me? Has anyone else but me wondered why that is? I'm fairly certain we've touched on this subject before, but it bears repeating, at least I think it does. It's kind of frustrating to me, you know? I think I find it most frustrating because I don't have an answer to the very question I'm posing. Why????? It just seems so backwards. I know it's something I'm guilty of too, and it happens a lot, especially where I work. Some days it seems like all I do is put out bombs caused by temper tantrums, and it really takes away from the time I want to spend praising those for having a good attitude. I'm trying to be more mindful of how I am too and about what I share on social media. Is what I'm posting really going to help someone? Encourage someone? Or am I just using it as a platform to excuse my lack of better word, bitch about something that I have no control over? Just a little food for thought.  

Holly: Yes, I notice it. I notice it a lot. Or, on another extreme...if you're positive, "bubbly", or just a good-natured person, sometimes you're asked "what's wrong with you?" Like, why are you like that all the time? I once had a boss tell me I was too nice. 

What? 

I don't get it either. I mean, from personal experience, the longer I spend time with someone who is just perpetually in a crappy mood, the more I find that I'M starting to get affected by it. I'm turning more cynical, negative.  Why do we, or others, find it irresistible to feed into drama, rants, general negativity? I don't get it. Someone please explain! 

I too am doing my best to be mindful...hence my 365-day gratitude/thankfulness picture project I'm doing on Facebook (so is Kelly). I know it's not much. But I like to post things on Facebook to encourage, make someone laugh, invoke joy. Positivity! They say nice guys finish last and I just don't think that's true. We should always be kind to one another and build one another up. And one way you can do that, definitely, is through social media. But don't just stop there. Really try to be a positive example wherever you go. I'm working on it every day. Because, truthfully, I'd much rather be told I'm "too nice" than the opposite.  

So much selfie!

Somebody call Charlie Eppes for a little social network analysis...

Nothing fancy; just a road I (Kelly) posted this afternoon with some God-chasing song lyrics. 2 likes so far.

A selfie of me on Christmas. 65 likes...and a few comments. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok...now it's Holly's turn...

A picture of God's creation, with an encouraging reminder to stand firm in our faith even during downpours: Nothing. Nada. Zip. 

A pic of my Aussie and I. 55 likes...also with a few comments.

Do you see our point?
Please don't misunderstand us. Relationships are wonderful. Having to go to work on Christmas and bring joy to others is wonderful. But what about deep, from-the-gut life stuff that shows how much we've grown, changed, etc? Why is everyone suddenly all akjfdbnakdljbgfiawuer when your relationship status changes?

We encourage mindfulness: Why are you really "liking" that? Yes, those things we mentioned are wonderful. They truly are.

Kelly: Did anyone see my little comparison at the top of this post? I thought it was a bit strange. Then again, maybe I don't. Today's culture is gripped with selfies galore, and for what? What is the purpose? I am guilty of posting the occasional selfie, usually when I'm just being silly. Sometimes it's to make a point, like the one on Christmas where I didn't get to spend time with my family and just put it up as a reminder that some people don't get to spend holidays with their families. That was it, that was the point. 

I guess the point is to just perhaps be a bit more mindful of not only what we post, but why we are attracted to what we are attracted to? What is the point of that selfie? Am I trying to gain something from this? Is there some sort of point I'm trying to get across? Did something really great happen? Did something really awful happen that you are trying to bring awareness to? I know it may seem silly, but these are the things we should be asking ourselves. It's something I try to do. 

Things we learned in April

New friends: We've had the privilege of making one! It's never too old for anyone, isn't it? Over this past month we've done a few things together, and it was just a time in our lives where we felt God calling us to reach out to this particular person. It's been terrific!

Let's get better: We're both pretty healthy and have been for all our lives, but this month we decided to see for ourselves- that is, make actual, adult doctor's appointments and be more proactive with our health. I (Holly) go tomorrow, even though I'm currently battling cold-like symptoms, and Kelly went earlier in April and, aside from some joint issues, received a clean bill of health :)

Honest conversations and realizations: Sometimes you have to have them, be it for setting the record straight or coming to that conclusion that you just have to let go. It's one of the many ways we grow as humans.

Cars are expensive: Both of us had some unforeseen car issues arise this month that left us needing to pinch pennies for a few days. Be prepared!

Mental illness is real: Our sweet, dear friend bravely shared her struggles with depression in a candid, honest way, because so often these types of conversations are brushed aside. A sobering reminder to always, ALWAYS be kind and considerate to others, because we never really do know what the other is going through. Treat others with compassion, and be grateful for what you have.

Birthdays can still be fun: For the first time since either of us can remember, we rang in 26 out of school, out of home, and actually...out of Kentucky! We spent our birthday weekend in Chicago, where we nearly froze to death, ate way too much, and just cherished the moments we got to spend both together and with Justin.

Those that we hold in our hearts never truly leave us: Our beloved Grandpa passed away on our birthday (April 9) three years ago this year. It's almost every day that something or someone reminds us of him.

Happy b-day from Chicago!