There's always hope

Holly: Life has majorly turned for me in just a few days.  It's amazing the kind of transformations that can occur in one's life, even in such a short amount of time.  A week ago today I received a phone call: the full-time job I applied for back in May was being offered to me.  It's in my field, it's not teaching (something I have no desire to do....right now, anyway.  Things change), the pay is decent, and it's at UK, somewhere I have great experiences with.  I'm three days in and I just can't help but think: This! Is this what I've been missing?

Up until a week ago, I was working two jobs.  One was in the pathology department at UK, pulling slides for physicians and faculty and getting mail.  It was 15 hours a week and I made just a tad over $8/hour.  Looking back on it now, it's ridiculous; I was driving almost an hour each way, working for three hours a day, then coming home.  There were many days in which I could only put $10 or $15 in my gas tank just to GET to work each day.  Please don't misunderstand me; it was not in vain, by any means.  Even though the hours and pay were so-so, I was filling large shoes in such a short amount of time, and I was often thanked and praised for doing the work I did (Which, let me also say, that's not what I was in it for, although the thanks and recognition were definitely nice).  I enjoyed the people in the department as well.  But I was barely scraping by, to say the least.  My second job is at Old Navy; I'm still there now.  But since I was spending so much on gas already, driving to UK's campus, I cut back to weekends only at ON.  Most Saturdays and Sundays I worked only 4.5ish hours a day.  When it's all said and done, altogether, between 2 jobs, I was making just about $200 a week.  I spend that much on my share of rent once a month.  So yeah.  Things were tight.  Really tight.  Like, losing-sleep-over-potentially-overdrafting-and-not-being-able-to-pay-bills/student loans-rent tight.  Literally sick to my stomach with worry.  I was envious of others.  I would walk past employees in the hospital and would literally think to myself: Yep, they don't have to worry about money.  Yes, I'm serious.  I drove myself mad over this.  Let me say this: it is not God's will for us to worry!  He wants us to trust Him.  This has taken many, many years and sleepless nights to get to this.

I looked over my journal recently.  My worries about money have spanned years.  Yes, you read this correctly.  YEARS.  And now, I feel all those worries just disappearing.  God has tremendously blessed me with this job; it's more than enough to meet my needs and then some.  He wants us to trust Him.  He wants us to have hope.  I know there are some of you who are reading this and are going through the same struggles, or perhaps different ones.  Please, please, please, please, PLEASE...don't give up.  I know it's hard.  God doesn't leave you, even when He feels millions of miles away.  He WILL provide, even if He just takes you somewhere else.  And if you don't believe in God, then I believe.  I believe in you.  I believe in the power of lives being changed in an instant.  It happens.  Let our stories encourage you.  Have hope.  Have faith.  I know it's a terrible cliche, but things do get better.  I'm a firm believer of that.  We were all put on this earth for a reason, for a purpose.  All will be revealed in time.  Just hold on!

Even darkness must pass.

Kelly: Sometimes, like now, I wonder "why me?" What did I do to deserve what I got? What I have? Why is it that I am blessed so greatly yet there are those who I know and don't know that are struggling severely with a given situation? It's God. I'm not trying to convert those of our followers who don't believe in Christ, rather I'm just sharing my own experiences and what He has done for me and through me! But if I can say anything, it's just hang in there. Believe! Believe in something or someone! I believe in Christ; what about you?

After I graduated from Berea and prior to getting offered my current job was a period of about 3 months. I can say without a doubt those were some of the darkest days of my life. I'm certain I experienced some sort of depression. I turned into someone I did not recognize. I was hurt, sad, lonely and angry. There were some days I dreaded getting out of bed in the morning, because I know I'd have to face another day of not hearing anything from a job, or logging onto my computer and checking my gmail account because I know there would be a job rejection or two, or turning on my cell phone and receiving no voice mails asking for a call back or to schedule an interview. I cried myself so many nights to sleep, begging God to just get me through one more day. My insides curled with anger when Holly would leave for work and I'd sit on the couch and bid her good-bye, then when she came home I'd say anything just to pick a fight. Just to have a reason to vent and blow off steam. I'd go to Walmart or Walgreens to get something just to find an excuse to get out of the house. A time or two I remember having the conversations, wondering how in the world we were going to pay next month's rent or make ends meet. I'm telling you; I've felt like I was in the dark. It sucks. It HURTS. But as famously quoted in The Two Towers; "even darkness must pass." And it did. It does.

So this is for those of our readers and followers (or someone who just happened to stumble upon this) who are struggling and going through whatever hurt or struggle they're going through. Hold onto those close to you; don't push them away. I shared a part of my story because I've felt strongly to do so for quite some time now. Someone out there is feeling the way I felt, and they don't know what to do. Please, whoever you are, please don't give up. I was about ready to throw in the towel and move back to Ohio when I got the call for my dream job. God is NOT giving up on you; He didn't give up on me. Now whether or not you reader or readers believe in God is entirely your choice, but I found my hope. I found hope in God; the one and only! There is someone or something that is keeping you going, whether or not you know it.

I lift up my eyes into the mountains; where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord; the Maker of Heaven and Earth. Psalm 121:1-2 (NIV)