Family Matters

Holly: I fail to be clever on demand.  Sorry.  This week has taken forever and it STILL isn't Friday.  haha.

Our parents came to visit us this past weekend.  We only get to see them a few times out of the year now, and they usually have to come to us.  They're both retired, so they have the flexibility that they so need after both working 30+ years in their respective fields.  After they leave I always miss them.  But this time was different.  I was left thinking about the relationship between kids and parents nowadays.  I have a great relationship with my parents and my family in general.  Yet I know so many of my friends who don't.  Some of my friends haven't spoken to their parents in years.  Some of my friends don't know their mom or dad.  Some of my friends don't even know how to fit in with their own family.  That makes me really sad.

The friends I do have who are still in contact with their folks don't have many good things to say about them.  Most of the time they say they're not supportive, or they shoot down their dreams.  Which makes me even MORE sad.  This is a glimpse of what we had growing up:  We were never given everything we wanted, we always had to work for it (I'll let Kelly share a story about that).  There was always a home cooked meal, and if Mom or Dad made something and we weren't sure about it, we had to try one bite.  If we didn't like it we didn't have to eat it.  Mom and Dad weren't afraid to show their affection in front of us kids (although it grossed us out at times! haha).  They told us they loved us and they told us often.  They've ALWAYS supported Kelly and I, and tell us they're proud of us, and tell us often.  My mom has bailed me out (mostly financially) more times than I care to admit.  If something awesome happens in my life, Mom is the first person I tell!  My Dad is so goofy; I get my silliness from him, for sure.  In my 23 years of life, I have never felt not loved, not supported by my parents.  In fact, I think I've grown closer to my folks since being on my own.  Yeah, they're not perfect, and in their almost 32 years of marriage and 3 grown kids later, there's been issues, of course.  But I love them so much and I'm proud of where I come from.  I hope that if I ever have kids I can be half the parents mine are.

Kelly: I always remember when I was growing up that we weren't "spoiled" by any means. We didn't have everything we wanted, but we weren't skimped out and we got by. We weren't filthy rich but we weren't dirt poor either. My parents valued working hard for what you had, and they definitely passed that onto us. As kids, Mom would get us something (usually a season of Smallville) and instead of giving it to us we had to work for it. This usually meant cleaning our room (and not just throwing everything in the closet...I mean HOURS of cleaning) or practicing our instruments when were were in our band years. And I'll admit; we were good kids because we had good parents. Sure us 3 kids fought, but to my knowledge it was never anything physical. We never laid our hands on ANYONE because Mom and Dad never laid their hands on each other or on us as punishment. Yes, you heard me; none of us were ever spanked. Now I'm not against spanking, but I do think that people can take it too far. We were never grounded, snuck out of the house, ran away from home or endured any of the classic "teenage rebellion." Why? Well A, we had nowhere to go and B, we learned very early in life that it's just not ok to run away from your problems or blame someone else for something you did. When the time came for us to go to college, mom and dad always said that we had the choice to go wherever we wanted and that they would help us provide the financial means as best as they could. Again, we weren't skimped out. And we were honest and real with one another; we could all talk to each other about EVERYTHING. We didn't get our driver's licenses until we were 19 years old, because Holly and I told our parents at 16 that we did not feel comfortable or mature enough to operate a car. At Christmas time, we were always at our house together; now if family or friends wanted to join us they were always welcome to do so.

How I've been raised has allowed me to reflect on how I want to raise my own children, should I ever get to that point. My future children, like I was, will learn to respect authority, all authority. I want them to be responsible, accountable for their own actions and want them to do not only what is right within them but what is right in God's eyes as well. I want my children to march to the beat of their own drums and to not necessarily do what is "normal" or "easy" or "in." I want to be a parent, but I also want to be a friend. I'm just thankful for the family I had, and still do have, because I know that one day we will all depart this Earth. Be thankful for your family; whatever your definition of family is.

Little twins.  We're 7 in this picture :)

Holly, our brother Kip and me. Family friend did a photo shoot of us kids. 

Holly's graduation, May 2012

Our wonderful parents! :)