Growing up is hard to do

Kelly: As you all know, yesterday was Thanksgiving. I had to work, so as a result we went back to Ohio last weekend to do Thanksgiving then. One of the things I've learned about being an adult in the real world is that sometimes, actually a lot of times, it requires sacrifice. Time away from family and loved ones, and sometimes it involves being away from your family and loved ones when you really really want to be with them. That was me yesterday; driving on the way to work and instead of working wanting to be snuggled up on the couch under the roof I spent 18 years of my life, smelling the aroma of turkey and pumpkin pie while watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade followed by the National Dog Show. Memories. Fun-filled and joyous memories. If there's one thing I've learned though about being away from the home you grew up in is that some people end up finding another home away from home. That's how we are still here in Berea, because this has become our home away from home. And part of finding your home away from home is finding your family, whether or not they are related by blood or not.

One of my "grown-up" lessons I've held onto the past 6 years I've lived here is that no matter what the circumstances, how old you are, or whatever is running around in your head, you should never feel ashamed or uncomfortable to tell your extended family "hey, life is great right now" or "you know, things are just sucky and I need prayer or a hug" or "oh my gosh I love each and every one of you." And when it comes to family, sometimes it turns out they need you too. I don't really know how to wrap this up but with this; I have grown up a lot. Circumstances and changes have somewhat in a way forced me to. But one thing is for sure, in an ever changing world is an unchanging God who gave me a big ol' Earthly family. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and remember to keep thanking God for your many blessings.

Holly: If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that most of my "wisdom" has come from my observations of just watching those around me live.  I've never been much of a crowd follower, and it really irritates me...actually, makes me sad...that so many my age are still acting like they're stuck in high school.  Don't get me wrong, 99% of the time I'm a complete goofball.  But what in the world is with all the DRAMA? Still?! If the worst thing that happens in your day is that you're pissed at your parents or someone "told you off", then you still have it pretty well off, in my opinion.  I'd love to be pissed at my parents sometimes, even if it meant that I got to spend one more day with them.  As it stands now we're lucky to see our folks 3-4 times a year.  If that.  I don't mean to whine, but it's like what Kelly said earlier: being involved in the real world means sacrifice sometimes.  Also part of my "wisdom" is perspective: there is always someone who has it so much worse than you do, and when it's all said and done, we have a lot more to be thankful for than we realize.

I have an amazing support system, serve an amazing God, have the best parents a girl could ask for, a job that I adore, and yes, I'm still single and enjoying that as well.  Society thinks female 20-somethings should either be in a serious relationship or married with kids by then.  Something else I see so many my age doing is just bouncing around from one relationship to the next...it's almost as if singleness scares them.  IT SHOULDN'T.  Ok, I've been jumping around a lot, but there is a point to all of this, I suppose: I had someone tell me last night that Kelly and I are admired because of our attitudes regarding our circumstances.  Yeah, life is hard sometimes, and yeah, sometimes it's easier to mope and feel sorry for ourselves, but it's a choice: how we feel about it, how we react, despite how we may be feeling.  Heck, it's a choice to breathe a prayer of thanks to God for what you DO have despite how you may be feeling.  Is it easy?  No.  No, sometimes it really isn't.  But one last thing about growing up is that you do not have to be a victim of your circumstances, and you have the power to choose who remains in it for the long haul.

What are some lessons you have learned over the years?

Just for fun, here's H and K at 17

Packages from Mom

Kelly: It's no secret of mine that I have a close relationship with my mom. With both of my parents actually. But in the past few years, I feel that I have grown especially closer to my mom. Don't know if that's because I've been out of their house since I was 18; officially since last year. We talk at least once a week, sometimes more. I am not ashamed to say that at my age I still need my mommy and daddy! Like a child getting lost in the mall....like that. It's the same way that I need (and we all need) Christ! To those who out there who are not as close to their parents, I hurt, because I do not know what I would do without my parents. I sincerely hope you can work out your differences, whatever they may be. To those of you who lost your parents due to death, again, I hurt. I know you miss them deeply and would love to see them again; I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

But one of the things that my mom did while we were in college was send us random holiday packages...for each holiday. This tradition of holiday packages started around our sophomore year of college. Valentine's Day, Easter, our birthday, Halloween, but not Christmas since we were usually home then. In these packages there's usually candy, candles, a sock monkey or two (for me!), coupons, and other assorted things. Sometimes there have been socks for that holiday, toys for our kitties, or other assorted Dollar store goodies (the very place we introduced our mom to in the first place), but in each one there was always a card or a note that usually says "yay! Good for you" or "you can do it" or "we're so proud of you!" I'm not a mom yet nor I don't know if I will ever be, but I think those are some of the greatest things a parent can, and should say, to their child or children. And they should say it often. And our parents did and still do.

Holly: When Kelly texted me earlier today with the words "MOMMY PACKAGE!!!!" my day instantly got better.  When I got home and perused through this particular package's contents, I said "If I ever have kids, I am going to send them packages too."  I know my parents love me and are proud of me, but sometimes it's the unexpected surprises that remind you just how much you are loved.  And missed.  I miss my mom and dad.  Yes, at 23, I still miss my mommy and daddy, and I don't see that changing any time soon.  I figured that when I moved out and was on my own, I would miss them less.  Nope.  Don't get me wrong, I love being on my own and being independent, but if my parents showed up at my door tomorrow and said I could move back home, I wouldn't spare a second thought.

I know my parents aren't going to be on this earth forever, and it breaks my heart to imagine my life without them.  So for now, I try to cherish the time I do get to spend with them.  Usually it's just for a few days at a time, several months apart.  I appreciate the time I spend with them now, possibly more than I did before I started college, moved out, etc.  I regret that.  I really do.  My parents have been there for me so many times, have believed in my craziest dreams, and have never been shy of voicing how proud they are of me and Kelly and how much they love us.  It kills me when I hear my friends say that they don't get along with their parents, or they never hear their parents tell them that they are proud of them.  Or my friends who still live with their parents but they just don't talk.  When my parents come to visit, that's basically all we do.  I feel like I could talk to my parents all day!

If any of you are reading this and you don't have a good relationship with your parents, maybe it's time to bridge the gap.  If any of you are reading this and your parents aren't with you anymore, I hope you think of them with a smile on your face, tears (of whatever magnitude, if necessary), and love and warmth in your heart.  If any of you are reading this and you still live with your parents, please hug them a little more.  Tell them you love them.  Tell them you're proud to be their son or daughter.  This world is so ugly, as our roommate Brittany said, and it needs beautiful things.  One of our candles from today's mommy package is burning, and now I'm thinking of home-cooked meals, the smell of the house, laughing together.  That's a beautiful thing.

Family Matters

Holly: I fail to be clever on demand.  Sorry.  This week has taken forever and it STILL isn't Friday.  haha.

Our parents came to visit us this past weekend.  We only get to see them a few times out of the year now, and they usually have to come to us.  They're both retired, so they have the flexibility that they so need after both working 30+ years in their respective fields.  After they leave I always miss them.  But this time was different.  I was left thinking about the relationship between kids and parents nowadays.  I have a great relationship with my parents and my family in general.  Yet I know so many of my friends who don't.  Some of my friends haven't spoken to their parents in years.  Some of my friends don't know their mom or dad.  Some of my friends don't even know how to fit in with their own family.  That makes me really sad.

The friends I do have who are still in contact with their folks don't have many good things to say about them.  Most of the time they say they're not supportive, or they shoot down their dreams.  Which makes me even MORE sad.  This is a glimpse of what we had growing up:  We were never given everything we wanted, we always had to work for it (I'll let Kelly share a story about that).  There was always a home cooked meal, and if Mom or Dad made something and we weren't sure about it, we had to try one bite.  If we didn't like it we didn't have to eat it.  Mom and Dad weren't afraid to show their affection in front of us kids (although it grossed us out at times! haha).  They told us they loved us and they told us often.  They've ALWAYS supported Kelly and I, and tell us they're proud of us, and tell us often.  My mom has bailed me out (mostly financially) more times than I care to admit.  If something awesome happens in my life, Mom is the first person I tell!  My Dad is so goofy; I get my silliness from him, for sure.  In my 23 years of life, I have never felt not loved, not supported by my parents.  In fact, I think I've grown closer to my folks since being on my own.  Yeah, they're not perfect, and in their almost 32 years of marriage and 3 grown kids later, there's been issues, of course.  But I love them so much and I'm proud of where I come from.  I hope that if I ever have kids I can be half the parents mine are.

Kelly: I always remember when I was growing up that we weren't "spoiled" by any means. We didn't have everything we wanted, but we weren't skimped out and we got by. We weren't filthy rich but we weren't dirt poor either. My parents valued working hard for what you had, and they definitely passed that onto us. As kids, Mom would get us something (usually a season of Smallville) and instead of giving it to us we had to work for it. This usually meant cleaning our room (and not just throwing everything in the closet...I mean HOURS of cleaning) or practicing our instruments when were were in our band years. And I'll admit; we were good kids because we had good parents. Sure us 3 kids fought, but to my knowledge it was never anything physical. We never laid our hands on ANYONE because Mom and Dad never laid their hands on each other or on us as punishment. Yes, you heard me; none of us were ever spanked. Now I'm not against spanking, but I do think that people can take it too far. We were never grounded, snuck out of the house, ran away from home or endured any of the classic "teenage rebellion." Why? Well A, we had nowhere to go and B, we learned very early in life that it's just not ok to run away from your problems or blame someone else for something you did. When the time came for us to go to college, mom and dad always said that we had the choice to go wherever we wanted and that they would help us provide the financial means as best as they could. Again, we weren't skimped out. And we were honest and real with one another; we could all talk to each other about EVERYTHING. We didn't get our driver's licenses until we were 19 years old, because Holly and I told our parents at 16 that we did not feel comfortable or mature enough to operate a car. At Christmas time, we were always at our house together; now if family or friends wanted to join us they were always welcome to do so.

How I've been raised has allowed me to reflect on how I want to raise my own children, should I ever get to that point. My future children, like I was, will learn to respect authority, all authority. I want them to be responsible, accountable for their own actions and want them to do not only what is right within them but what is right in God's eyes as well. I want my children to march to the beat of their own drums and to not necessarily do what is "normal" or "easy" or "in." I want to be a parent, but I also want to be a friend. I'm just thankful for the family I had, and still do have, because I know that one day we will all depart this Earth. Be thankful for your family; whatever your definition of family is.

Little twins.  We're 7 in this picture :)

Holly, our brother Kip and me. Family friend did a photo shoot of us kids. 

Holly's graduation, May 2012

Our wonderful parents! :) 

30 Days of Writing: Your Family

Holly and Kelly: For today's post, we thought a combined one would be easier. We'll start off with our blood family; our parents and our older brother. We were born and raised in southeastern Ohio in the town of Athens. We lived in the same house our entire lives; never moved until we came to Kentucky to start college. That was in 2008, and we haven't left Kentucky since! Since last May, Holly and I have created our own little family in our own place since last May. It's been an incredible journey; developing the skills necessary to live with each other and maintain our sanity, as well as our budget. Prior to that, we had lived on campus as Berea students, and I think that REALLY helped us grow up and live within our means. Granted, it has not been easy, but the thought of being on our own doesn't terrify us anymore, and being away from home had a big role to play. Of course we missed mom and dad, but I think it's something every child should do for college...just my opinion. 

Anyway, our current apartment came with Wiley. His previous owner couldn't keep him because all of her family was allergic, and she was just going to take him to a shelter. We of course decided to keep him. A few weeks later we adopted Yoda. Yoda came from a former professor Holly and I both had. She was scared of everything for the first few days we had her, but she warmed up to us and has wormed her way into our hearts. We absolutely love our pet babies! But soon, we will be packing up our family and moving yet again. Not out of Berea, just across town. More space, costing a bit more, but we'll be with a dear friend of ours until she graduates in the summer. It's going to be a bit scary at first, but we are excited to see where this journey will take us !

And last but not least, Holly and I thought it would be important for us to mention another edition to our family: our church family. I first attended Berea Baptist in August of 2008. My friend Tim and I made the trek, and I fell in love instantly! I dragged Holly with me the following week, and she too fell in love. And we've been there ever since; we officially became members in May of 2009. We've since then joined the choir, fostered some wonderful relationships and have greatly improved our relationship with God. We are truly happy and blessed to have such a large family, both blood related and Christ related. Thank you all for being a wonderful family. We love you all!

Our wonderful parents! They raised us to love others, ourselves and so many more lessons! 

We of course can't forget miss Nala. :) 

Our first home! 

Wiley. He's a sweet boy :) 

Miss Yoda. She likes Tolkien too! 

Berea College from above...became our home away from home! :) Came here 5 years ago and haven't left yet!

Church choir family. This pic is so old, but captures us well.  We love them all dearly!  God has greatly blessed us with such a wonderful church family! :)

The Couch

Holly: This is a true story.

In 1998 our house was added on to.  Let's be frank, a 2-bedroom, 1-bathroom, 2-story house just didn't cut it for a growing family of five.  (Although, to this day, it is still 1 bathroom for five people...when Kelly and I are home from college, that is).  Anyway, when buying furniture, we selected this three-section couch.  It was blue, and the middle section pulled out with two drink holders and a small table-ish thing...which...we never really used.  And the two ends reclined.  It was a good couch.  Served us family very well...and became the favorite honing/sleeping spot when dear Nala entered the picture in February 2008.

Flash forward to about a year ago...

To make a long (and humorous) story very, very, VERY short, the brother invites his friend over and...bippity boppity boop...broken couch!  Couldn't put the foot rest down because it wouldn't go back up.  :(  Sad day in the Korb house. 

Flash forward to about two weeks ago...

Mom, Dad, Kelly and I pay a visit to South Carolina to visit our lovely grandparents, aunt, and two very sweet dogs.  They pass off to us two black papasan-esque chairs that they said would look very nice in our living room.  BING! Instant replacements (or fillers) for broken blue couch!

Flash forward to about fifteen minutes ago...

I just got off the phone with my mom after our routine weekend phone conversations.  She has informed me that the two black papasan-esque chairs are now situated comfortably in the living room and the broken blue couch is gone.  But that isn't even the best part.  Here's how the broken blue couch came to be rid of:

Now, this is strictly based off of what I heard over the phone and Kelly's retelling, but my mom was talking to my brother and dad and she was like, "Let's put the couch outside and put a 'FREE' sign beside it and see what happens."  So, the brother went to work, and Dad was ROLLING IT up the hill, put it up at the end of the driveway and put the 'FREE' sign there!  According to my mom, the couch was placed at the hill at approximately 1:10 in the afternoon.  By 3, the couch.  Was. Gone.

My mom saw the collectors of the couch: this older guy and two other guys, and a pick-up truck.  They come back around after going up our neighbor's driveway, and they proceed to put the couch in the back of the truck, and when they left, Mom said ONE OF THE GUYS WAS SITTING  ON THE COUCH IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK!!!! lawl.

Ladies and gentlemen, according to my roommate, "Redneck First Class."

Only in southeastern Ohio.

Kelly: Jolly good. Jolly good indeed. Mom said that maybe they were taking it to a campsite or a trailer park or something. I'm like, sure Mom. Or maybe some hillbilly in south eastern Ohio just wanted a free couch. Now we're trying to figure out who we're going to tell this story to. Holly's like "hey, I should tell my adviser." Here goes; "Hey, adviser. You wanna hear a funny story? It's about my COUCH." Good times. Man, we need to get a life. Not my words, but there is a wee bit of truth behind that.

Now I'm crowded in my sis's room with her roomie and we're all having a cup of tea. Hopefully there will be a new couch this upcoming weekend at home. Not really sure what it looks like. Having said that, I do have a bit of a concern. I have this MASSIVE test on Tuesday that i HAVE to pass. So basically, the future of my entire nursing career depends on this one test. I'm only allowed to miss two questions on this test, but I do have 3 chances to take it. Please think good thoughts, not only for me but for the new owners of their free couch. Off to have some tea and chat with good company. Cheers!

Basically, Miss Nala ruled the couch