Kelly: This conversation we are about to share started yesterday while the two of us were shopping around Richmond. One of us mentioned that we don't really consider ourselves selfish people. I don't really think of myself as selfish. Seriously. And then this led into one thing after another after another, a commonality in which we both stated we wouldn't do what we do if we were selfish people. It's true. I've known for a while that I wanted to be a nurse, but I truly believe that God has called me to be a psych nurse. It is a calling bestowed upon a select few individuals, but I sincerely believe that I have risen up to the challenge. I have a lot of really good days at my job. Things go smoothly, my patients are calm and there isn't a crazy amount of admissions/discharges or both. Then there are those days where I walk into chaos the moment my foot enters the unit. A patient's upset or psychotic, 2 admissions have just come in, one patient wants to leave AMA and other patients are scared of another patient and they don't feel safe. Yet despite those bad days, where I am, what I do...it feels right.
For lack of a better word: Right. I was talking in Sunday school today about how when you find "the one" and when someone asks you how you know it's "the one." And what is that age-old scripted response? Yes, say it with me. "You just know!" I compared that to feeling contented about the path God has you on. The path that God has me on for the time being is the right one, and I know that it is. How do I know? Because I just do. I just know. I feel at peace with the direction my life is going right now. It's a good feeling, unfortunately, it's one that I can't explain. I can't put into words or put my finger on how I know I'm where I'm supposed to be. I suppose that it's something that only comes from knowing God. But when the time is right, you'll know.
Holly: I said in Sunday school today that we bank a lot of our security in what we do for a living. I remember when I was considering my AmeriCorps position; one of the biggest things that almost held me back was the considerable pay cut. I kept asking myself "Do I really want to go back to being flat broke all the time again?" I talked to my co-workers at the time and I was sometimes met with less-than-enthusiastic responses..honestly, not that I could entirely blame them. "Is that what you really want to do?" "Do you really want to make that much?" But what I also remember, as clear as day, is that still-small voice saying: "Don't let this opportunity go." Despite the reservations, yes, even from me, I went. And guess what? We're not flat broke, and I sincerely have no regrets. For the first time in I don't even know how long, this feels like what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm trying not to get wrapped up in the long term, although I'm not being unrealistic: Grow Appalachia won't last forever, I know this. But it's like Kelly said, I feel at peace with the direction my life is going, and I too can't explain it. It's God. It's all God. I've learned that sometimes, where we are in our lives doesn't make sense to those on the outside. Guess what? Sometimes it doesn't make sense to ME either!! But I take comfort in knowing that I serve a God who has my best interests at heart. My life makes sense to Him, and that has to be enough.
I'm going to end with this, and it's something I've witnessed quite frequently. Heck, I've been through it too: Please do not EVER feel like that you have to be "stuck" with wherever you are in your life! You deserve to have joy and satisfaction and be at peace with the choices you've made in your life. If you aren't, then change something! You have that power, and nothing is more draining than being in that mentality of "I'm stuck and I can't get out." You can, and nothing is more fulfilling than being at a place of peace in your life. Even if you can't explain it.
No comments:
Post a Comment