Holly: It's not much of a surprise that many of our blog posts stem from conversations between Kelly and I. This one is no exception. Earlier this evening, while out and about taking a stroll through campus, we came across the subject of bullying. Not just bullying, but words in general, and how they affect us. Or don't, in the case of some people. But that makes me wonder.
I'll start this out by saying that Kelly and I were bullied in middle and high school. Nothing horrible or anything, but yes, we were. Obviously being in marching band and not giving in to the power highs of the queen bees of Fed Hock definitely made us prime targets. But it wasn't what they said about us that bothered us, it's why they were saying these things about us. Why had their perspectives of us changed? Did one of us do something negatively to change their thinking? I don't know how many times I've heard "Oh, I don't care what people say about me." I think, to some degree, we do.
Earlier in the semester I had a conversation with a friend about bullying, and I was expressing to her that I didn't understand why bullies bullied. I learned from this (and I find this to be rather true, now that I think about it) that bullies usually attack because it's an outward expression of stuff that's going on on the inside. The prime queen bee that bullied Kelly and I in high school, let's be frank, did not really have the greatest of home lives. But something that got to me is that people react and deal with things differently. Like Kelly and I, for example. Our queen bee bully had a terrible home life and probably had some horrible things said/done to her, so she, in turn, took all that #$%^&*&^ going on at home out on Kelly and I. But Kelly and I had a wonderful, loving, and supportive home life. How were we supposed to react to that?
Then I think about children who have crappy home lives, and then go to school and deal with more crap from bullies. How are they supposed to react to that? I think that this is what is driving 11, 12, and 13-year-old to suicide! All because of what other people say about them! That, in my eyes, is totally unacceptable.
I know I digressed quite a bit, and I apologize. But from what I've been through and from what others have been through, it has definitely made me more aware of what I say. There are so many young people out there who go through each day thinking something to the degree of "If no one smiles at me today, then tonight I'm ending it all", or "If no one says hi to me, then that's it. I'm done." What if something we say drives someone over the edge.....or pulls them back from it?
Kelly: I couldn't have said this better than myself. Being on the outside looking in has helped me to try to be more kind to people in general. The truth is at any given day or time we don't know what someone is going through. All it takes is one thing that we say wrong or one wrong action. And that's it. Kind of makes you wonder; do the bullies feel sorry for what they do/did? Do they feel remorse? Or do the viscous cycles continue? One thing is for sure, something that Holly mentioned. She mentioned that our top bully probably had a bad home life and such. But some bullies DON'T; some of them are raised by wonderful parents and have a wonderful home life. Yet something in them flips a switch. I don't understand it. And as long as I am a living, breathing individual I don't think I will. And sometimes it doesn't end. Even here in college I have witnessed bullying through gossip. One time it was my peers bullying a friend of mine. I put a stop to it!
So what do we do? Here's a thought; what if it were you? What if it were a friend? What if it was your son/daughter/grandchild/niece/nephew etc? My answer; just depends on the situation. But I close with this; let's all just THINK before we SPEAK. Words really can hurt, but they can also encourage and uplift. Pick flowers, not fights. Make love, not war. James 1:19, be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
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