Mrs. Lonely

Kelly: For the past couple of weeks, I have embarked on a new career path 2 hours away from Richmond. I have thoroughly enjoyed my job and getting to know those I am working with. The work has been fun, challenging and a great opportunity for me to expand on a very rewarding and promising career. The biggest adjustment I have had to make thus far is living on my own. For most of my life, I have lived with Holly or in close proximity to her (there was one year in college where we lived in the same dorm but 3 doors down from each other with separate roommates). Even when I was abroad in Scotland, I still lived with roommates. So really, this is the first time in my life where I've truly lived on my own. For the most part I can say I've enjoyed it. I'm really learning a lot about myself as an individual and this has been a great opportunity for me to be accountable and responsible, and I think I've done pretty well. There have been some things I miss though about living with someone, and sometimes the feeling of loneliness can get pretty overwhelming. 

That was the case last night. Holly was up here visiting me for a few days, and when I came home from work last night, my apartment was empty. Remnants of her presence were still there, and I instantly thought about how much fun we had over the past 2 days....and I broke down. And she called me, after not hearing from her for a while, and I basically went off. I was upset, told her I was upset and just wanted to be upset, and I wanted her to feel what I was feeling. During the conversation, she stopped me and said "Kelly, just stop. We need to pray about this." So that's what I did. I got off the phone with her, and I prayed. I realized that the root of all I was feeling was just loneliness. Plain and simple loneliness. It stinks sometimes, and it sneaks up on you when you're least expecting it, and that's what happened to me last night. After I finished praying, I sat in silence for about a minute, then for some reason felt compelled to go on my Facebook. The first thing that came up on my newsfeed was a picture of a friend of mine and her kids at the movies. And I smiled....widely. I thought about the good times we had shared over the last couple of months, how we've walked alongside each other in Christ, encouraged each other and some of the conversations we've shared, and it made me so happy. It was then I realized that where that happiness came from; God. 

As a Christian single young woman, it seems like there's a lot of pressure for us to learn how to be contented in our singleness. And yeah, for the most part, I am. But there are some days....where that feeling of walking home after a long day of work with no one to share it with really hits me hard. I am still a work in progress, and God has shown me so much about Him in these last 3 weeks that I've been here. I know there's still so much I have to learn, if I'm willing to be open to what He might be trying to show me or tell me. I am so thankful that God is patient, and I don't think I'll ever be able to truly comprehend and acknowledge all that He has done for me. I really am blessed, and sometimes I forget that when I let my feelings take over. One day at a time. Today is better. 

Holly: As I told Kelly via text just a little bit ago, the timing for this could not have been more perfect. I'm a little hesitant to share this, but  here goes: Over the weekend I attended a church event. At one point the crowd had thinned considerably and I was left waiting for my boyfriend to finish tearing down the set/stage from the morning. I waited...and I waited...and I waited some more. And it wasn't too long before this overwhelming feeling of loneliness set in. It didn't make any sense to me; in a good-sized crowd, all gathered together for the sake of glorifying the Lord, I should have felt right at home. But I didn't. At one point I felt very isolated.  Left out. And it hurt.

Later on in the day, after seriously considering going home, I moved spots, where I was able to spend some time in pleasant conversation with a mom I'd recently gotten to know through a small group. It certainly helped to alleviate the feelings from before. But after I'd gotten home and was talking about the day with my boyfriend, at some point, all of the hurt from earlier came to a rise. And I just completely broke. All the while I was silently praying...just for the hurt to go away. After that, I'm not sure what happened, whether it was my prayers or my boyfriend praying too, but I felt better. I soon realized that there is one person that will never, ever leave us to feel isolated, lonely, left out, and that's God. I believe He brought peace into my heart at the exact moment I asked for it.  I believe He did the same to Kelly, just through a different means. Part of my conversation with Kelly a few days ago was a reminder that my boyfriend by himself is not and cannot be the source of my joy. At least full, complete, unconditional joy. That type of joy can ONLY be found in Christ and through Christ based on what He did for us at the cross and what He has done in our lives.

Wrapping up and maybe digressing a little with a bit of a confession: I think the church needs to refocus some of its areas more towards single people. Many ministries are geared towards married couples and families, and I think that's absolutely fantastic. But I don't think I need to throw out hard data and statistics to make a point that number of single people attending church is rising. And sometimes I think they're getting left out of what could be some very valuable opportunities. I think my prolonged period of singleness was beneficial in my now relationship, but I think that, especially for young women, there's a lot of shame in being single. And there shouldn't be at all!

Maybe I should rephrase that last bit: I think we as humans sometimes need to refocus some of our areas towards single people. I would encourage any of you reading this who are married or in a relationship: reach out to one or a few of your single friends. Encourage them in their goals and in their walk with Christ. Show Christ TO them. Remind them that their singleness is to be celebrated, not a problem to be fixed. Let them know that they are loved and treasured. Because when we have that perfect, complete joy in Christ, we are free to be the 100% version of us that we are destined to be. Single or not. Cry out to God in the midst of your loneliness. He is there.

So much selfie!

Somebody call Charlie Eppes for a little social network analysis...

Nothing fancy; just a road I (Kelly) posted this afternoon with some God-chasing song lyrics. 2 likes so far.

A selfie of me on Christmas. 65 likes...and a few comments. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok...now it's Holly's turn...

A picture of God's creation, with an encouraging reminder to stand firm in our faith even during downpours: Nothing. Nada. Zip. 

A pic of my Aussie and I. 55 likes...also with a few comments.

Do you see our point?
Please don't misunderstand us. Relationships are wonderful. Having to go to work on Christmas and bring joy to others is wonderful. But what about deep, from-the-gut life stuff that shows how much we've grown, changed, etc? Why is everyone suddenly all akjfdbnakdljbgfiawuer when your relationship status changes?

We encourage mindfulness: Why are you really "liking" that? Yes, those things we mentioned are wonderful. They truly are.

Kelly: Did anyone see my little comparison at the top of this post? I thought it was a bit strange. Then again, maybe I don't. Today's culture is gripped with selfies galore, and for what? What is the purpose? I am guilty of posting the occasional selfie, usually when I'm just being silly. Sometimes it's to make a point, like the one on Christmas where I didn't get to spend time with my family and just put it up as a reminder that some people don't get to spend holidays with their families. That was it, that was the point. 

I guess the point is to just perhaps be a bit more mindful of not only what we post, but why we are attracted to what we are attracted to? What is the point of that selfie? Am I trying to gain something from this? Is there some sort of point I'm trying to get across? Did something really great happen? Did something really awful happen that you are trying to bring awareness to? I know it may seem silly, but these are the things we should be asking ourselves. It's something I try to do. 

Adios to 2014: Looking ahead to 2015 and what's to come

Holly and Kelly: With the end of 2014 just 2 days away, we thought this would be a good time to wrap up our blogging for the year and look ahead to what the new year may or may not have in store for us. We decided to do this today because tomorrow we're packing up to head to Ohio, working, taking care of things before we ring in 2015 on the road. To start, 2014 was a great year for the two of us! We both experienced some firsts, went to a lot of concerts and met some awesome musicians who love the Lord, went to A Long Expected Party and bonded with fellow Ringers and bonded over why and how Tolkien's work has changed our lives for the better. Saw the end of an era with The Hobbit. Holly found a job that makes her happy (from Holly: finally) and as for me, even after thinking earlier this year I was going to lose my job found myself getting my act together and not only being a better nurse but just an all around better person. Having said that, here are a few goals we have laid out for 2015 and perhaps beyond:

Remember who we are and whose we are: A simple reminder that we are children of God and that God made us because He loves us so much! This point was in a sermon a few months ago and it has really stuck with us. It reminds us of what He has brought us through and that He will continue to provide our needs, no matter what they are. It reminds us to not worry about what may or may not happen but to really just trust in Him because He's going to take care of us!

"Let me get that." From another sermon that the youth pastor at our church gave. The youth group went on a mission trip earlier this summer, and this was their mentality and sort of motto in order to prevent burnout from a long week of hard work. For whenever we are feeling worn out and just tired, this simple phrase will hold with us to remember to always extend a helping hand, whether we're at work, church, home, wherever. This rolls into Romans 12:11-13, which starts out by saying never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. It's so easy to do that when you're doing something you love. It's easy for the two of us because we absolutely love our jobs. But even the best loved jobs have crappy days, and sometimes we really don't feel like being enthusiastic for Jesus. But we've found even the simplicity of just putting on a smile can go a long way. Give it a go.

Clean up song: I know some of you are thinking....ok, what? When we saw tobyMac last month, he was talking about when he was cleaning up the kitchen with his family he played one of his new singles as the "clean up song." We just looked at each other and were like...we need to do that. So before we clean up the kitchen or whatever, we pick a clean up song, usually a dancey one, and clean up while we sing, dance and whatnot. It's prevented a lot of arguing about who does what and it makes the mundane tasks more fun!

Eat at the table: I know this seems simple, but we rarely eat dinner at our dining room table. We did this while growing up as kids, and it helped us all reconnect with our days and just life in general. Granted, this won't be possible every night, but we're going to try and make it a regular habit.

So there you have it! We hope that 2014 has been great to you all and that you have some goals set for the new year to come. We'll close with a bit of this awesome song from for KING & COUNTRY and we hope these words encourage you. Thank you all for continuing to follow and read our blog! We can't wait for what 2015 has in store for us!

When I'm stuck out in the cold, let me be warm hearted
When the weight's too much to hold, let me be light hearted 
When all I have is not enough, I won't be broken hearted
'Cause you taught me how to love, to live, to learn, to live whole hearted. 

Family pic from Christmas! 

Memoirs from an MRI scanner and a recently unemployed young aaaahdult

Kelly: The Christmas music has started, the cats are hyper and I've been awake since 6AM. Just another day of livin-la-vida-loca! The reason I've been awake so long is that I had another MRI today; hopefully the last for a long while. This one was done because last week, one awesome doctor FINALLY has a name for all my ankle problems!!!! After 2 and a half years of groveling, knocking on doors, pain and frustration, YES. There is a name! Anyway, this MRI was done to see the extent of the problem and what is the next step treatment wise for me; casting first or surgery. She said (the good doctor) that surgery is very unlikely, so keep your eyes open as I will be posting updates. I don't go back to see her until the 10th, so again another waiting game continues.

Anyway, during the scan today the tech asked what radio station I liked to listen to, and I said I'm very fond of K-LOVE; they played music for me since MRI's tend to be rather noisy...if you've never had one, take my word for it. I've had 3. So anyway, I was laying on my back, drifting in and out of sleep and then the radio DJ's who do the morning show were talking about something they read about this guy who was his own "minister of happy." What this guy did was just that...he was just happy. But what he did was change his mindset. The radio DJ's kept talking and mentioned the encouraging word which was from 1 Corinthians 15:58. The premise of this verse is that everything we do is not useless and that we're to work in all things for Christ. One of the DJ's said that with that kind of mindset, daily, it can provide the same eternal gratitude as leading someone to Christ. What a concept. Just something for us to take home; instead of "going through the motions" and going through the daily grind, how's about we take our mundane every dayness and use any and every moment possible for God? Thoughts and actions like that could change us...even the world.

Holly: This especially struck me today.  Last Tuesday was my last day at my job.  Which means yes...I am now unemployed once again.  With the exception of my Mary Kay.  To say I'm anxious, uneasy, worried, all are understatements.  Most of the time I try to keep the faith but sometimes it's hard to not get discouraged.  But when I heard about being our own ministers of happy, it was like a light switch.  Yes, times are scary and uncertain for me right now.  God is taking me through a season that is uncomfortable, boring, scary...I feel sometimes as if I'm on pins and needles, waiting for an email, phone call, ANYTHING.  But that isn't how it has to be.

So how does someone like me be a minister of happy even in the dark times?  I know for me that I have to undergo a serious change of perspective.  I know that I need to use this abundant spare time for God, for rest, for prayer, and being serious in my faith to the point that I solely rely on God for my utmost needs and desires.  Which at this point is work.  I need to work!  I need to stay busy!  But what I keep praying is that regardless of where I end up I want to be used by God.  For now, I wait.  And do things.  Like tonight: I auditioned for a dance ensemble at Berea.   I have absolutely no idea if I'll even get into a piece, but it was the most fun hour and forty five minutes I've had in a LONG time.  I'll plan my party.  I'll sleep.  And pray.  And keep faith.  Because we do what we have to do.

One Hundred

Kelly: Readers, avid readers, and strangers; I present to you with good news. This blog has reached its 100th POST!!!!! *cue wild cheering, confetti, party horns* We are so excited and honestly never thought that it would get this far. Hey, it's hard to keep up with something like this when our lives are taking such busy and definitely interesting turns. Oh...public service announcement: THE LOUD MUSTANG IS GONE!!!!! Turns out it wasn't a mustang that was across the street from us, it was a Pontiac something. Goes to show you how much I know about cars. Whatever. What I'm thinking about is how much new stuff we have gotten into in 100 posts. WOOT. Go us and our crazy fandoms! But what I'm most happy about is how I have felt my relationship with God grow and flourish! I am different. SO much different than what I used to be; even more different than the start of the summer. Gosh. What has happened in 100 posts?

We: met Colin and Brad, Holly graduated, moved into a new place, became mommies to two fuzzy children, got hooked on Lord of the Rings, Sherlock and the Hobbit, made new friends, lived, laughed and grew in our joy of the Lord. WOW! It blows me away how much as people we have grown! It's awesome and we couldn't have done it without God and your all's warm and wonderful comments! Thank you all! 100 down...100 more to go!

Holly: I have a purring Yoda on my lap.  We just ate an amazing dinner (Seriously).  We're wearing our new hobbit feet slippers (you can't make this stuff up).  We're about to go spend time with our amazing church choir family.  :)  I am so different of a person now than I am from a year ago, life isn't AT ALL what I imagined it would be, and yet I couldn't be happier.  We're Skyping with one of our best friends this evening.  All is just unbelievably well!  :D

If you have been riding on this roller coaster with us from the start, then I must thank you.  Knowing that there are those out there that take interest in what is going on in our random, hectic lives makes it the very reason that we've reached 100 posts.  Here's to 100 more, hopefully!

And now, some random awesome pictures:

Change thinking to change feelings

Kelly: The last few weeks I have noticed a change in myself. And no, it's not just the 8 pound weight loss. This again is another change for the better. I have been happier. Much happier than I was this time last year. I remember thinking about this time last year; I was so on edge. About everything! The littlest things set me off and it was because I was just so...burned out, stressed out, worn out, worn down, and exhausted. Getting up at 4AM on Tuesdays was extremely draining and it was just go, go, go 24/7. No rest for the weary. And now? I'm not stressed (as much), I'm not tired, and I can't even remember the last time I had a genuinely bad day. What does that even mean anyway, to have a bad day? It's all relative. Anyway, but everyone keeps asking me what my secret is? How did I lose 8 pounds? Why am I so happy and cheerful?

It's GOD.

It was, it has been and it will be. Every morning when I wake up I consciously think in my mind "God, I'm here now. I want you to shine so brightly through me that people notice. I want to have a smile on my face and pass it on." Those thoughts vary daily, but for the most part I start my days with God just changing and transforming my mind. And let me tell you it is AMAZING how good I feel!!!! I smile more, I laugh more and I think positively more. This is also benefiting me because I have more time to PRAISE instead of PLEAD. Not that pleading to God is bad, but I can think of more times when I've said "Dear God, thank you for now" instead of "Dear God just get me through this!" There have been times when some troubles have come my way but I've learned (and am still learning) to just deal with them as they come. And I pray ALL the time "God have Your way in this situation." I don't ask to take it away because we might miss something if we just lock up all our stresses and worries in boxes and pray that they just disappear. I've  EMBRACED those challenges and saddled up the courage to face them. Finally. Now bear in mind, these changes I've made have taken many many months of pre-meditating, thinking and praying. But also these changes have come from inside me as well. I've had to pluck up courage from my strength (which comes from God) to just GO. To just go and live, because it is not God's will for me to live in bondage of all that holds me down. And here's something else; words are just words. Make a plan, pray about it, think about it, and follow through.

Holly: But God...

I am speaking from experience, as well as in concordance with Kelly, but every single word she says is true. This way of thinking has completely revolutionized my day-to-day ways of looking at things, situations, bad drivers, work issues, scary bills, crappy attitudes, cats that won't chill out, etc etc etc...But ever since I've taken the focus off of me and MY schedule, and MY current feelings, and all that I have to do for the day, and turning it into "Hey, God, um, thanks for EVERYTHING, I'm not sure what's going to happen today, but I totally trust You," things have just gotten better.  By all rights I should be having a conniption fit.  I don't have a job in two months, I have student loans to pay off, we're getting zero help from the college in terms of living expenses next semester...there's just a lot stacked against us.  I have hardly zero anxiety.  Seriously.  Because I rest and stand firm in the simple fact of all that God has brought us through, and I strongly believe He will not have brought us to Berea, to here right now, only to just be like, "Well, just kidding."  No.  That's not the God I serve and love.

The thing about faith, though, is that even though God has more than enough faith for you and me, sometimes we have to have faith in ourselves.  I've had lots of conversations with people about how stressed they are, how they're not sure they're going to make it, and they trust God, I can see that....but maybe it's themselves that they don't trust.  Let me tell you: there were plenty of times in my last semester of school where I wasn't sure if I was going to pass this one class.   I decided to shift my focus on GOODDD, saying, God, you've brought me through four years of school.  I'm giving this class to You!  I did that, but I also just kept telling myself, Holly, you're going to make it.  You are.  You have to!  You have so many people rooting for you!!

If you haven't been reading a word of this, please read this: YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE.  Someone out there is rooting for you.  Someone has faith in you.  Please know this.  :)

My challenge is this: just try to shift your perspective, the way you think.  It takes time, believe me.  But it's worth it, I promise.  Let us know if you need encouragement, prayer, etc.

"You have to change the way you THINK in order to change the way you FEEL." -Robin Roberts

Our bucket lists

Kelly: I am a woman of my word. I mentioned in yesterday's post that I would have our bucket lists on display for all to see. If you don't know what a bucket list is...watch the movie. It will change your life. I will start with mine. (listed in no particular order of completion)

*Visit a monastery
*Go back to Scotland
*Learn to drive a standard transmission car
*Complete a "Photo a day for one year" album on Facebook
*Keep in touch regularly with at least three college friends after I graduate
*Visit the west coast of the US
*Visit Toronto (saw Niagra Falls. Want to see more of the country)
*Go on stage for a Whose Live or other improv comedy show
*Write and successfully send a fan letter to....I don't know yet
*Attend a "Price is Right" taping

Nothing much. Achievable? Possibly. I have this list saved on my computer and when/if I complete an item I will cross it off along with the date(s) in which it was completed.

Holly: Some of my items are the same as Kelly's.  Or similar.  But I managed to jot down a few unique goals of my own.

1. Finish/make a t-shirt quilt (I already have shirts picked out)
2. Meet Ryan.  Or someone else from Whose Line.  But mostly Ryan.  (Already met 2 so I'm on a roll :D )
3. Pull a practical joke on someone, preferably someone at Berea.
4. Go back to England.
5. Go back to Nicaragua.
6. Visit New Zealand, Finland, and Toronto at some point.
7. Go to the west coast of the U.S.
8. Take a road trip.
9. Go to NYC on New Year's Eve to watch the ball drop.
10. Adopt a kitty from a shelter.
11. Watch all the Harry Potter movies in one sitting.
12. Visit the Hollywood square with all the celebrity stars on it (I can't remember the name of it)
13. Attend a Price is Right taping with Kelly.  Possibly accomplish #12 during that time.
14. Donate to Berea.
15. Learn to play guitar.
16. Knit a bunch of baby blankets and donate them to a hospital.
17. See our nation's capital (I've seen two capitals in two different countries but not even my own!)
18. Keep our blog going for as long as possible.
19. Meet Jeremy Camp.
20. Try everything on Berea Coffee and Tea's menu at least once.