Mrs. Lonely

Kelly: For the past couple of weeks, I have embarked on a new career path 2 hours away from Richmond. I have thoroughly enjoyed my job and getting to know those I am working with. The work has been fun, challenging and a great opportunity for me to expand on a very rewarding and promising career. The biggest adjustment I have had to make thus far is living on my own. For most of my life, I have lived with Holly or in close proximity to her (there was one year in college where we lived in the same dorm but 3 doors down from each other with separate roommates). Even when I was abroad in Scotland, I still lived with roommates. So really, this is the first time in my life where I've truly lived on my own. For the most part I can say I've enjoyed it. I'm really learning a lot about myself as an individual and this has been a great opportunity for me to be accountable and responsible, and I think I've done pretty well. There have been some things I miss though about living with someone, and sometimes the feeling of loneliness can get pretty overwhelming. 

That was the case last night. Holly was up here visiting me for a few days, and when I came home from work last night, my apartment was empty. Remnants of her presence were still there, and I instantly thought about how much fun we had over the past 2 days....and I broke down. And she called me, after not hearing from her for a while, and I basically went off. I was upset, told her I was upset and just wanted to be upset, and I wanted her to feel what I was feeling. During the conversation, she stopped me and said "Kelly, just stop. We need to pray about this." So that's what I did. I got off the phone with her, and I prayed. I realized that the root of all I was feeling was just loneliness. Plain and simple loneliness. It stinks sometimes, and it sneaks up on you when you're least expecting it, and that's what happened to me last night. After I finished praying, I sat in silence for about a minute, then for some reason felt compelled to go on my Facebook. The first thing that came up on my newsfeed was a picture of a friend of mine and her kids at the movies. And I smiled....widely. I thought about the good times we had shared over the last couple of months, how we've walked alongside each other in Christ, encouraged each other and some of the conversations we've shared, and it made me so happy. It was then I realized that where that happiness came from; God. 

As a Christian single young woman, it seems like there's a lot of pressure for us to learn how to be contented in our singleness. And yeah, for the most part, I am. But there are some days....where that feeling of walking home after a long day of work with no one to share it with really hits me hard. I am still a work in progress, and God has shown me so much about Him in these last 3 weeks that I've been here. I know there's still so much I have to learn, if I'm willing to be open to what He might be trying to show me or tell me. I am so thankful that God is patient, and I don't think I'll ever be able to truly comprehend and acknowledge all that He has done for me. I really am blessed, and sometimes I forget that when I let my feelings take over. One day at a time. Today is better. 

Holly: As I told Kelly via text just a little bit ago, the timing for this could not have been more perfect. I'm a little hesitant to share this, but  here goes: Over the weekend I attended a church event. At one point the crowd had thinned considerably and I was left waiting for my boyfriend to finish tearing down the set/stage from the morning. I waited...and I waited...and I waited some more. And it wasn't too long before this overwhelming feeling of loneliness set in. It didn't make any sense to me; in a good-sized crowd, all gathered together for the sake of glorifying the Lord, I should have felt right at home. But I didn't. At one point I felt very isolated.  Left out. And it hurt.

Later on in the day, after seriously considering going home, I moved spots, where I was able to spend some time in pleasant conversation with a mom I'd recently gotten to know through a small group. It certainly helped to alleviate the feelings from before. But after I'd gotten home and was talking about the day with my boyfriend, at some point, all of the hurt from earlier came to a rise. And I just completely broke. All the while I was silently praying...just for the hurt to go away. After that, I'm not sure what happened, whether it was my prayers or my boyfriend praying too, but I felt better. I soon realized that there is one person that will never, ever leave us to feel isolated, lonely, left out, and that's God. I believe He brought peace into my heart at the exact moment I asked for it.  I believe He did the same to Kelly, just through a different means. Part of my conversation with Kelly a few days ago was a reminder that my boyfriend by himself is not and cannot be the source of my joy. At least full, complete, unconditional joy. That type of joy can ONLY be found in Christ and through Christ based on what He did for us at the cross and what He has done in our lives.

Wrapping up and maybe digressing a little with a bit of a confession: I think the church needs to refocus some of its areas more towards single people. Many ministries are geared towards married couples and families, and I think that's absolutely fantastic. But I don't think I need to throw out hard data and statistics to make a point that number of single people attending church is rising. And sometimes I think they're getting left out of what could be some very valuable opportunities. I think my prolonged period of singleness was beneficial in my now relationship, but I think that, especially for young women, there's a lot of shame in being single. And there shouldn't be at all!

Maybe I should rephrase that last bit: I think we as humans sometimes need to refocus some of our areas towards single people. I would encourage any of you reading this who are married or in a relationship: reach out to one or a few of your single friends. Encourage them in their goals and in their walk with Christ. Show Christ TO them. Remind them that their singleness is to be celebrated, not a problem to be fixed. Let them know that they are loved and treasured. Because when we have that perfect, complete joy in Christ, we are free to be the 100% version of us that we are destined to be. Single or not. Cry out to God in the midst of your loneliness. He is there.

The attraction of negativity

Kelly: Picture this; you read something on Facebook about so and so's rant about x topic/place/person. There's a slew of "right on's!" and "you tell them!" and "you're right!"  You see a friend of yours crying because they're upset something didn't go right, then a few people gather around, hug them, tell them everything's ok. You work with kids/teenagers and one of them starts throwing a fit, so all of a sudden all of your attention has to go away from everyone who's behaving themselves to the one person who's acting out. 

Does any of this sound familiar to any of you? I'm guessing probably so. 

So now picture this; you see someone walking down the street, and they're happy go lucky, not a care in the world. You walk on by and let them be without asking. You read something on Facebook about how so and so had a good day. Chances are, you probably just skipped right over it and didn't even think about it. 

And now I've probably got you thinking. Have you noticed that in today's world, attention goes on negative attitudes/behaviors? Or is that just me? Has anyone else but me wondered why that is? I'm fairly certain we've touched on this subject before, but it bears repeating, at least I think it does. It's kind of frustrating to me, you know? I think I find it most frustrating because I don't have an answer to the very question I'm posing. Why????? It just seems so backwards. I know it's something I'm guilty of too, and it happens a lot, especially where I work. Some days it seems like all I do is put out bombs caused by temper tantrums, and it really takes away from the time I want to spend praising those for having a good attitude. I'm trying to be more mindful of how I am too and about what I share on social media. Is what I'm posting really going to help someone? Encourage someone? Or am I just using it as a platform to excuse my lack of better word, bitch about something that I have no control over? Just a little food for thought.  

Holly: Yes, I notice it. I notice it a lot. Or, on another extreme...if you're positive, "bubbly", or just a good-natured person, sometimes you're asked "what's wrong with you?" Like, why are you like that all the time? I once had a boss tell me I was too nice. 

What? 

I don't get it either. I mean, from personal experience, the longer I spend time with someone who is just perpetually in a crappy mood, the more I find that I'M starting to get affected by it. I'm turning more cynical, negative.  Why do we, or others, find it irresistible to feed into drama, rants, general negativity? I don't get it. Someone please explain! 

I too am doing my best to be mindful...hence my 365-day gratitude/thankfulness picture project I'm doing on Facebook (so is Kelly). I know it's not much. But I like to post things on Facebook to encourage, make someone laugh, invoke joy. Positivity! They say nice guys finish last and I just don't think that's true. We should always be kind to one another and build one another up. And one way you can do that, definitely, is through social media. But don't just stop there. Really try to be a positive example wherever you go. I'm working on it every day. Because, truthfully, I'd much rather be told I'm "too nice" than the opposite.  

It all goes to the bad...

Kelly: Have you ever noticed that when someone acts up, throws a fit, gets angry and starts swinging some fists, or when someone talks just to "make a scene," that everyone LOSES THEIR MINDS? Now what do I mean by LOSING THEIR MINDS? They validate it, affirm it, and a slew of "right on's!" and "yeah!" and "you tell them!" are certain to follow. Especially where I work; negative and crappy attitudes just feed one right into the other. One bad and crappy attitude can run the show, and everyone just eats it up. Or when something happens that makes you angry/frustrated, and you dwell on it, and dwell on it, and dwell on it....over, and over, and over. And THEN....on the flip side of that, when like me, I show up, act like my happy-go-lucky self, it arouses suspicion. Like....why are you being so nice? Stop that.

So is that just me? Anyone? 

But sometimes, negativity really REALLY affects me, to the point to where I feel it, deep down in my core and I have to physically remove myself from the person or situation. It's honestly one of the most baffling phenomenons I still to this day experience. I don't get it. Can't wrap my head around it. It just makes me wonder, why do we put so much attention to crappy attitudes or rip roaring rage fests? And admit it....we all do it. It's splattered all over social media day after day after day, demanding our attention. It's human nature, I guess, but still. And I do it too, all the time. God has really been challenging me to focus on the nature of my heart, instead of what's swirling around in my head and the words I say. It hasn't been easy, because sometimes we just want to go with the flow of things, even if it means going with the flow of a toxic environment.

I was talking to my dad last night, and he said he was really inspired by how Holly and I handle things. We were just in Florida not too long ago, and some things happened and we ended up going in the wrong direction on the way to the airport. And I just...rolled with it, even though my nerves were frayed. Eventually, I let it go; I had no control over it. Let me tell you, it makes a difference, and I'm going to level with you all, I just really try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Stuff happens. I get it. We're all wired differently. But the sooner you just let the crap go and focus on things/feelings/stuff that's more worthy of our beck and call, you will be amazed at how....smoothly things just seem to go.

Holly: I'm with my sis on this one. I don't get it either. 

Something Kelly says often, and I'm fairly certain she got it from her work, is "You are responsible for the way that you act, no matter how you feel." I am a generally upbeat person by nature, and I try not to let things get to me. But when I'm exposed to constant negativity, it really does seep into me.  It's toxic! That's the way it was with an old friendship of ours, there towards the end; I'd just get in a funk or in a sour mood afterwards, just because I just had all this negative junk unloaded on me. I never understood, and still don't understand, how you can let one little thing get to you. 

Yes, we are wired differently. I get that, and I try to be mindful of that. But how about instead of reinforcing negative behavior or actions, we reinforce positive behavior or actions? The way I see it is that there's WAY too much negativity in the world as it is. And I'm certainly not saying be a ray of sunshine all the time. I get frustrated and disappointed all the time. But you can try- you can at least try to put a positive spin on things. In fact, I encourage you to try it. I think you'll be surprised.

I want to close with something unrelated, per Kelly's recommendation: I shared something on my Facebook page earlier today and I hope that you are encouraged by it. Because the truth is that God does love us and He does know our deepest desires, and He cherishes us and wants the best for us.

Look to God. He can take it. Choose joy. Be encouraging.

God does answer prayer. I definitely believe that. But sometimes, His answer is "No."
I was dealt the reality of that just this week.

Sometimes we are so convinced that when we receive something, it's from God. And while it very well may be, at least in my own situation, things didn't go as I'd hoped, and at the end of it I was left very broken and hurt. As I did some devotional reading this week, I realized that when God told me "No" in this particular situation, it was because He was preparing me for something better. We don't often see it that way in the moment, because we're in the midst of pain and inner turmoil, but when we are able to look back and recognize that God truly does desire the absolute best for us...it's a relief, almost.

God is good!

Clueless Americans on the half shell

Kelly: I have been back in the states for a little over a week now. I was recently on a mission trip to Peru, and it was incredible! If you want to read more about the trip, please refer to my own separate blog, which you can find the link for in the "where to find us" section on the home page. Ok, that's enough of my shameless plugging. Anyway, since I've been back, I've realized I've harbored a bit of resentment. Resentment towards Americans and our society as a whole. Yesterday, after reading the same junk I read on Facebook day after day, I got sick of it and took a hiatus from it for the rest of the day. In that time, instead of complaining about it, which is what I wanted to do, I prayed and listened to Third Day. And I felt better. The resentment is just geared towards cluelessness in general. We just don't get it. I was at Kroger after a 3 hour work training and a lady was complaining to an employee then to me that a small head of broccoli was being sold by the pound. She then proceeded to tell me, in not so many words, that I was essentially getting ripped off because the particular broccoli I had chosen had "just stems." I said it wasn't a big deal and just walked away. It really wasn't a big deal to me, and I thought to myself I have bigger fish to fry than to worry about $1.39 broccoli.

Sis and I have been rewatching the latest series of Doctor Who, and The Doctor puts it exactly the way I feel; "the human race is never satisfied." Truer words have not been spoken. It seems like someone just has to complain about something. Or post or talk about the same stinking thing day after day on the same subject. It's just downright exhausting if I'm going to be honest. Yesterday I couldn't get those Peruvian people out of my head. They would simply love what we just carelessly complain about. It's challenged me to just be cognizant about my thoughts and ask myself if what I'm thinking or feeling is really worth getting so worked up over. Is broccoli being sold by the pound really worth getting worked up over? Is yet another "terrible two" worth, or spat with your family, or another "I hate my job", worth getting worked up about? In 2 days is it going to matter? Is it going to matter in a couple of hours, or a couple of years down the road? Chances are? Probably not. Hey, this is just for myself as it is for anyone who decides to read this. I'm just saying, I think we can all do a bit better in just being aware of our audiences and what's going on around us. There's enough negativity and drama in the world as it is.

Holly: The title of this post does seem a bit harsh, but it's only because Kelly and I are just as clueless as anyone else.  We have SO MUCH to learn from our brothers and sisters living in poverty, in third world countries, even those living next door to us.

Something I haven't been able to get out of my head is something that was said at church last week: We have absolutely no idea how to have relationships with people anymore, actual face-to-face, personal relationships without devices. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about: the couple at the restaurant or coffee shop, sitting across from each other completely absorbed in their phones. The individuals on social media who constantly post things like "My [spouse/significant other] is the BEST at everything, all the time, he/she is so awesome because he/she does this and this and this..." To the couple at the restaurant or coffee shop, put the phone down and realize what an amazing opportunity you have in front of you: the chance to share life with someone, the chance to spend time with someone you care about.  To the social media posters, I'm sure that your spouse/significant other is the BEST at everything all the time and is so awesome because he/she does this and this and this: Please tell them that, and tell them often.  We don't need to know that.  THEY do.

I actually sat down and wrote two letters last week.  Yes, actual pen-to-paper, catching up on life and sharing life with a friend I haven't seen in a while, and a friend that could be something more.  The people that Kelly interacted with in Peru have nothing, literally, nothing. But what they do have is each other, and that is so much more valuable than complaining on Facebook, or $1.39 broccoli. Kelly has been challenged to be more cognizant of her thoughts, and I'm taking the challenge as well. Because, chances are, we really do have it a lot better than we realize. 

Emma Watson is not Hermione Granger

Kelly: And Martin Freeman is not Bilbo Baggins.
Benedict Cumberbatch is not Sherlock Holmes.
Also...Benedict Cumberbatch is off the market and happily married....LADIES.

Get over it!

It had to be said. It just had to. One of my biggest pet peeves is the way some people post things about actors/actresses and they don't even use their real names. Case and point the above of this post. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but in a way it seems disrespectful to me when people do that. Today in church our pastor was talking about the fact that our self-worth is not measured up by how useful we are. So what would happen if Emma Watson never took on the role of Hermione Granger? Would people even recognize her or pass her a second thought? It's uncertain of me to say, but I hope it makes you think. Jesus loves us all so much and thinks that we are priceless; so priceless that He died for us! It doesn't matter if we're famous or just the other every day Average Joe. God doesn't see me as the psych nurse, or Holly as the non-profit worker, or Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug the Dragon. No! He sees each and every one of us as His precious children whom He loves very much and created in His own image.

And I've been guilty of it too; following what the fans say when things pop up on the Internet. But lately I've been known to bite my tongue and remember "ok, they're regular people like us before they're actors." But even above THAT they're children of Christ. We all are. So how about we start showing some respect for everyone in who we really are in Him and not who we are or were in the past. I'm not going to be a psych nurse forever. Holly isn't going to be a VISTA forever. The Harry Potter movie franchise is done, but not forgotten. Try to take the time to see each other as God sees us.

Holly: It's no surprise that Kelly and I are die-hard fans of for KING & COUNTRY (If you've been following us for a while and you haven't managed to listen to them yet, please do yourselves a favor!).  One of the many reasons we're fans of them is because of what they stand up for.  They have a "campaign", if you will; Respect & Honor.  Today during church I was reminded of why I wear my Respect & Honor wristband every day, and the sermon and above thoughts from both Kelly and I really drove the point home for me.  In fact, I held it in my hands during the invitation as a reminder.  And it goes something like this: I love God.  God loves me, and everyone else.  Therefore we ought to remember our worth the way God sees it, and that is that we are PRICELESS to Him!  We were all created in His image, made to be like Him.  Think about that for a second.  If we all adopted that mindset, every single person in the world viewing every other person in the world through God's eyes, it could literally change the world!  

Kelly and I are also regular Pinteresters, and we have a board for Sherlock, and naturally, since it's a popular show we've drawn a lot of followers.  But some of the comments I see with accompanying pictures are, quite frankly, disgusting sometimes.  I'll admit that I find both Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman attractive.  But when we look at them through God's eyes...they are so much more than pretty faces.    So let me add a finale to this:

Emma Watson is not Hermione Granger.
Martin Freeman is not Bilbo Baggins.
Benedict Cumberbatch is not Sherlock Holmes.
They are ALL children of God.  And so are we!

Getting to Know us!

A friend of ours posted a challenge by a friend of hers, titled "Getting to know me." So here's ours! :D

1. What is a nickname only your family calls you? 
Kelly: Opal. Well, only my dad calls me that. It started when I was a kid. Still stuck
Holly: My dad calls me H, which has been a recent thing.  H-bomb when I was younger.

2. What is a weird habit of yours? 
Kelly: If I remember it I'll put it on here.
Holly: I chew on the insides of my cheek (gross, I know).  I still bite my nails too.  It's probably why I'm still single :P

3. Do you have any weird phobias? 
Kelly: Stinging bugs. Any of them. I am pretty sure I'm borderline phobic of them. When I grew up if there was one in my bedroom I couldn't kill it because I was too scared. This stemmed after I got stung by a wasp under my nose when I was a kid. And after one that I squished stung me on my foot. And after stepping on a bee in the garage while I was washing my parent's car.
Holly: I am terrified of breaking down in Lexington.  This isn't a joke either.  Cray cray drivers up there.  Ok, this may be a joke, so I wouldn't go so far as to call it a phobia.  I don't really have any phobias, but I am afraid of falling.  Yes, that is different than being afraid of heights.

4. What is a song you secretly like to blast to when you are alone? 
Kelly: I still now and then listen to N*SYNC and Backstreet Boys. Not ashamed whatsoever.
Holly: "Fix My Eyes" by for KING & COUNTRY is pretty much default nowadays.  And not a secret! I like "Pompeii" by Bastille, although the premise is really sad.  And if "What's Love Got to Do With It", oh, it's on.  I have others, but I'd like to maintain some of my dignity ;)

5. What is one of your biggest pet peeves? 
Kelly: Close-mindedness. Bottom line.
Holly: I have several, unfortunately, but one that really grinds my gears is drivers that don't use a turn signal.  AAAGGHHH!!

6. What's one of your nervous habits? 
Kelly: Fidgeting, that's the most common one. Also, I act really stupid/giggly.
Holly: Bouncing my legs when I'm sitting.  Used to drive my mom nuts.

7. What side of the bed do you sleep on? 
Kelly: My bed is a twin bed, but when I'm out or in a bigger bed, usually the right side.
Holly: My left, your right, depending on your perspective :)

8. What was your first stuffed animal and what was its name? 
Kelly: It didn't have a name, but it was this raggedy bear with googly eyes. It was our brother's and (I think) our mom's too. It's at our Ohio house. I think at one point it was called Ginger.
Holly: I can't remember my first stuffed friend, but I have one from when I was 7 that I still sleep with: a ratty terrier-looking dog from the Columbus Zoo.  I call her Ashley.  She's been lots of places.

9. What's the drink you always order at Starbucks? 
Kelly: Either a grande cafe vanilla frappucino or grande cafe espresso frappucino. Then the usual pumpkin spice when they're in season.
Holly: Pumpkin spice latte when they're around, no questions.  Other than that, either a grande cafe vanilla frappucino, a grande valencia orange refresher with vanilla, or a blonde roast with cream and sugar. Sometimes I like a caramel apple spice.  As you can tell, I frequent Starbucks :)

10. Which way do you face the shower? 
Kelly: Uhhhhhh...I'm not really sure how to answer this question. So I suppose I will say no comment.
Holly: I reject this question and substitute my own.  Which....I will think of later.

11. Do you have any weird body skills? 
Kelly: This question made me LOL. But no. No I don't.
Holly: Kelly didn't mention it, but we can do this silly foot dance thing that our mom taught us.  Ask us about it sometime!

12. What is your favorite comfort food that you know is bad but you eat it anyway? 
Kelly: Chocolate. ANYTHING chocolate.
Holly: Well, I just finished a bowl of Edy's mint cookie crunch, so.......

13. What is a phrase or exclamation you always say? 
Kelly: Either "Allons-y, Allonso!" or "Oh my glob." If I really sat down and thought about it then I could think of more.
Holly: If I hear something awesome or crazy, I say "get out."  Actually, it's more like "GET OUT!" Kelly has been on the receiving end of this quite often.

14. What do you wear when you go to sleep?
Kelly: Sometimes my scrub pants from work. I only have one actual set of PJ's. But usually just whatever.
Holly: Usually just a big t-shirt and a pair of shorts.  Cute PJ pants when it gets cooler :)

15. What did you used to wear that you thought was cool, and now you realize it wasn't? 
Kelly: Oh my gosh, does anybody remember those fugly plastic shoes/sandals from the 90's? Totally had a pair of those. HACK.
Holly: Not really so much "wearing", but when I was in high school I used to wear a ton of eye makeup.  You know, the black mascara, black eyeliner, metallic eyeshadow.  I was so into it, and looking through old pictures now a few years later it just looks terrible.  I rarely wear makeup now, but when I do I prefer the natural approach.

You don't have to try

Holly: Guys, I was just shown this video.  I'm floored.  Completely floored. 

This goes out to the ladies reading this: If you do not do ANYTHING else today, please take 4 minutes out of your day and watch this.  I'm serious.  Please just do yourself a favor and watch this video. 

It's time to stop being ashamed of ourselves.  It's time to love ourselves again.  And again.  And again.

The "not (insert whatever) enoughs" don't measure up: Two young women trying to measure up to God's worth

Holly: We've listened to a fair share of sermons over the 5+ years we've been at Berea Baptist, but this one sort of hit us upside the head today.  Maybe it's what I need.  Maybe it's what we all need, but there's one message that I feel so compelled to share, so...yeah.  It's going out there, and I apologize if I offend anyone, but in a society that is so bent on dictating what we as humans should act, feel, do, etc, well yeah, I want to say something about that.

The sermon today was about pride.  Yep, pride.  Something we ALL struggle with, and if you say otherwise, you're full of it.  Most of us have a pretty good idea of what pride looks like, but there was another aspect of it that I hadn't thought of before, and that's what I'm going to share today: We live in a society where nothing measures up.  Women my age (and younger and younger, sadly) are not pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough, successful enough, you name it.  But one of the points in the sermon this morning was that when we "beat ourselves up" for our flaws, we are committing a form of pride.  One of the definitions given for pride, in this context anyway, was "an unwillingness to see oneself in correct relation to God."  Guys, God loves us so much.  He sees us as his precious children, his beloved son and daughter, his treasure, the apple of His eye.  He created us to be just that: us.  That's why I make it a point to not get so hung up over my flaws...because I feel like in a way I'm (and I hate to use the harsh terms) smacking God in the face.  And when I see my peers ashamed, frustrated, disappointed with themselves, it breaks my heart.  You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about.  Now I'm not saying I've completely abandoned the self-bashing; trust me, I haven't.  I'm working on it too.  But instead of wishing for something better, let's try to thank God for what we do have.  I got out of bed this morning.  I'm breathing freely.  I had sushi for lunch.  I listened to some beautiful songs from the Doctor Who soundtrack.  I was able to clap my hands and sing during church.  Turns out we are a lot more blessed than we realize.

Kelly: Having missed church last week, I was really glad to be back. And after a pretty crazy work week, I was very happy to hear this sermon. Not that I'm ever disappointed, but this. This was a take on an age old issue that I had never heard before. But pride; I knew in the back of my head that when it started that this was something I struggled with. Like Holly, the same part that stuck with her stuck with me too. I had never really thought of "beating ourselves up" in that way before...being prideful. The sermon said though that a healthy love for oneself is not sinful, but I think that when it starts getting out of hand is when it becomes so. And I think it doesn't have to be a healthy oneself for it to be prideful, but it can be an unhealthy detest too. But as for me, I have high expectations for myself. Lord knows I goof up and mess up...constantly. I find myself beating myself up when things don't work out or when something happens on my watch at work and on and on and on and on. Before I found my job, I would feel despondent at times and not want to do anything because I was just really down. I felt guilty for feeling the way I did, but I told myself it was normal. I felt guilty at the end of the day and told myself I should have kept looking for jobs. I asked myself why I wasn't getting hired; what was wrong with me?

Turned out God had a bigger plan than what I expected. He has reminded me time after time; that even though I am not perfect I am perfect in His image. This is easier said than done, because I understand that sometimes things or situations or people just really get you down. But I am speaking for experience when I take the focus off myself and turn it around back to God, the day, the moments and the every day wear and grind of whatever goes by so much easier. I pray every time I go into to work. Often I ask God to get me out of the way so that others would see Him instead of me. I was created by God and for God, and His word is the final word. Period. This is a challenge I am going to try for myself; to remember that God is God and I am not. I do not measure up to anyone else, even myself. Especially myself. I hope our other Christ following readers will be challenged and encouraged as well.

30 Days of Sherlock: Character you'd least like to be like

Holly: I don't really like this question, because I think, in essence, even the "worst" characters...we have a part of them.  I know some days I'm inept and silly, like Anderson.  I'm brash and distant, like Mycroft.  But I'm certain they will have redemptive qualities in the upcoming season.  So there.  It is so.

Meanwhile, I'm having a cup of jo.  You should have one too.

Kelly: This is mean. I like everyone in the show. I mean, Anderson gets on my nerves and Sally always doubts Sherlock, but I feel that that happens to all of us sometimes. Sometimes we get on each other's nerves; heck, most times I get on my own nerves! Sometimes we doubt people, especially ourselves. But just because those characters possess those characteristics doesn't mean that I don't want to be like them. That's all. Ok. I'm going to clean the garage now.

30 Days of Sherlock: Character you are most like

Holly: While some days I do let my inner Sherlock come out, most of the time I feel like I'm most like John.  One of the most admirable and believable qualities I like most about John is that he is a friend for life.  As am I.  Kelly and I have discussed this many times; no matter where you end up in life, no matter how often we do or do not talk, no matter the choices you make, when I am your friend, I am your friend for good.  John also has a tough-as-nails, no-nonsense ambiance to him as well- sometimes I do too, especially when I'm motivated by something.  John is also fiercely loyal to Sherlock and has a heart, which we see come out often in the series.  I too have a big heart.  I think we should all be more like John.  :)

Kelly: Some days I feel like I am most like Sherlock. Stubborn, arrogant, a bit obnoxious, rude, blunt and abrupt. I don't want to listen to anyone, I do what I want and I blow people off. Then some days I feel like John; loving, caring, compassionate, listening, understanding, loyal and friendly. I can find something to love out of the most seemingly unlovable or questionable, like Sherlock. To be honest, I think that at times there's a bit of Sherlock in us. Yet other times I feel that there is a bit of John in us as well.

P.S. It's Benedict Cumberbatch's birthday today!!!! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH! 

30 Days of Writing: Things you like and dislike about yourself

Holly: Dislikes:
~my incessant need to fit in. This usually means butting into other people's conversations. I'm 23, for crying out loud.  Sometimes it's ok to just be by yourself.
~my tendency to blurt out whatever I'm saying instead of thinking things through
~my sometimes-impulsive spending
~crying out in desperation to God only when things go wrong or when I really want something, instead of daily conversations with Him when things are BOTH good and bad
~my need to fill in awkward silences.  Silence is ok sometimes.
~my road rage
~I don't read enough.  Period.  I need to, and I'm working on it.
~trying to "fix" things whenever my friends or someone I love is upset or hurting or otherwise in some sort of trouble.  Just listening is usually all they need.
~unrealistic happiness...that is, not recognizing that sometimes I can be sad, or pissed off. I am terrible at showing my emotions.

Likes:
~I'm always on time or early
~I generally have a good disposition and outlook on life.  I'm bubbly by nature and like being happy
~I love to laugh and do it often
~my relationship with God.  Yeah, it's been up and down a lot, but a lot of things in my life have threatened my faith and I think I've come out stronger because of it
~my motivation and determination.  It's rare that I give up.
~my modesty.  I hate being the center of attention.
~my love for people.  I love people so much it hurts sometimes.
~(I think??) I'm a good friend.  I don't judge because I'm in no position to do so.
~I've almost always been happy with the way I look, never really gave in to peer pressure or any of that.  I was the model child and teenager, never did the whole rebellion thing.  I was a good kid.  I still am.  I'd much rather stay in than go out.

Kelly: 

Dislikes:
~When I'm not confident in something, I act silly and stupid.
~I've developed the habit of stress eating. Not good, boo boo. Not good.
~I often avoid conflict as much as I can. I hate getting involved in confrontations if I know they're going to get ugly. Working on this, as in my future career I may have this happen to me...
~I ugly cry. For real.
~I get really REALLY hard on myself when I make a mistake.

Likes:
~I am probably one of the biggest people person ever! I love helping people when I can.
~I've managed to continue my healthy habits with continued improvement and overall healthiness! And the fact that they're so simple!
~That I'm a Christian and God loves me for me!
~I'm a very punctual person. I HATE being late! This is the girl talking who left an hour and 20 minutes before a job interview (good thing I did! 2 wrong turns and unfamiliar traffic took me an hour!)
~Along with being a people person I'm very compassionate. My heart breaks for those who are hurting and are less fortunate than me (this includes animals too).
~I'm very upfront with how I'm feeling. If I'm angry, I say so. If I'm sad, I say so. I don't like boxing up my emotions and trying to cover them up. Some people are very comfortable with doing that. I'm not one of those people.
~My music/movie interests are sooooooooooooo varied! I have everything on my iPod from CCM to Queen to Instrumental. Movie wise? One day I'm interested in a sappy rom-com while the next day I'm screaming for some Iron Man or Batman Begins. You should see my DVD Collection.
~I'm very open minded. Always have been.

30 Days of Writing: Your Fears

Kelly: The kind of world/society generations younger than me will have to endure and go through.

Being stagnant in my relationship with God.

Finding a job, not liking it but staying with it to make money, end up miserable and "stuck" in such job.

The thought of Yoda/Wiley accidentally getting out and not coming back. :(

Holly: Stagnancy in general

That I won't find a job in my field

When I come to the end of my Earthly life, that even though I did my best, that God will be disappointed in me

The kind of world/society my kids/grandkids will have to see

The kind of world/society that we already see

People being disappointed in me

Being stranded in downtown Lexington (don't judge me on this one...have you been to downtown Lexington??)

Falling

30 Days of Writing: A problem you have had

Holly: It's one I'm still working on, and probably always will, but impulsive spending.  I can't pass up a good deal, like many red-blooded Americans, and I LOVE shopping.  I have gotten a lot better at controlling myself and saying no, but sometimes I can get a little carried away.  I know back when I was a freshman at Berea, before I went on direct deposit, my paychecks went right into my pocket and were gone in less than 2 weeks.

They say money is the root of all evil.  I disagree.  Money is a fundamental necessity, and it is useful when used wisely, and as long as you are bringing in more than you are taking out.  However, people abuse money, and that's when it becomes evil.  I also think the LOVE of money is evil: that is, trying to aspire wealth, things, possessions, instead of intangible things.  I know I've done my fair share of money abusing and money-loving.  Something I'm trying to work on is whenever I bring home something new, I try to take something out so that there's some kind of a balance. Something I also do is sometimes when I go out I leave my debit card at home on purpose so I'm not tempted.  ALWAYS set a budget.  Like I said, I'm getting better, but I know I still have a long way to go.

Kelly: As you all know, I am a very bubbly person by nature. However, sometimes my bubbly nature gets a bit too out of hand...this happened a lot when I was in clinicals while in nursing school. There were several occasions in which I was gently reminded to "tone it down." Not that my personality is a bad thing, but in the past there have been some that interpret being too "silly" as not being confident or not knowing what you're doing. I can understand that. Sometimes...it's also not very professional, let's be honest.

Now I don't want anyone attacking my educators with pitchforks saying "YOU'RE MAKING PEOPLE CHANGE THE WAY THEY ARE!" No. That's not the case at all. The issue was that in my world there has to be a balance between being professional and acting like a goober...which I do 99.9% of the time when the situation is right, of course. Also, in the profession I'm in (mental health) being too friendly can sometimes be threatening to patients. So yes, it is something I'm working on, but in the meantime I'll keep on keeping on. :) 

30 Days of Writing: Five pet peeves

Holly: Man, I'm in a good mood too.  Oh well...here we go:

1. Close-mindedness.  I really don't think I need to elaborate much more on this.  Newsflash: people in the world are going to think differently than you, have different opinions than you, be from somewhere else other than where you're from, like and dislike different things, believe in the same or a different God (or no God at all).  Be accepting.  Learn something about someone else.  Don't stay trapped in your silly little box forever.

2. Employers who don't follow through.  I've had a LOT of frustrations with this, especially while looking for another job.  How stinking hard is it to send a two-sentence email or make a thirty second phone call saying "thanks, but no thanks?" or "hey, how about this time for your second interview?" Because then who has to look like the annoying badger? Me.  I know for some places you possibly can't reach everyone....but can you at least try?

3. Drivers who don't use their turn signals.  I know it's silly, but it really irritates me.  That little stick thing by your steering wheel isn't there for fun.  Use it!  (My backside right turn signal bulb is currently burned out on my car, so now I feel like a turd every time I use my turn signal even though I know people behind me can't see it.  Now they think I'm being rude.  I still use it though.  Don't know why...)

4. My friend posted this one, but it really gets my blood boiling: People who are GLUED to their technology.  Um...hello? You're the one who said let's have lunch.  Put the phone away.  You can stay unplugged for an hour or two.  I really can't stand it when I see moms or dads with their kids and the kids are trying to get their attention....nope.  iPhone is more important.  Ugghhh....PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR KIDS AND THE PEOPLE YOU HANG OUT WITH!! Have actual, face-to-face, meaningful conversation! TALK to people with words, not with texts!

5. This one is kind of silly too, but I think for me it's a matter of sheer respect: Fans of a certain actor or actress who don't see them as a PERSON, but rather as the iconic character that made their career.  For example: I am a big fan of Martin Freeman.  I've seen a lot of his work.  Now that the first installment of The Hobbit is over I read things on the internet, etc, and people are like "Oh it's Bilbo Baggins!"  Same with Sherlock: "Jawn, what are you doing?" Um...no.  It's Martin Freeman.  I'm fairly certain Martin Freeman didn't become the brilliant actor that he is just for people to follow him as Bilbo Baggins or John Watson for the rest of his life.  I think if you have a favorite actor or actress, take the time to see other things they're in.  You'll gain a lot more respect for them and maybe take yourself out of that ONE character box.  I know if I ever get the chance to meet him (God willing! lol) I'm going to tell him that I really enjoy his work and that it's an absolute pleasure to meet him...not just that he makes a good Bilbo or John.  Actors are just ordinary people who just really love what they do.

Kelly: These are in no particular order. I have similar ones to Holly's but here's a few of my own too.

1. Diets. Because in my opinion they don't work. Look now, we've got the cheese diet, the grape fruit diet, and all this stuff. I'm not going to judge you if you do use them, but I sincerely hope you balance the risks and benefits. Maybe for a while, but in the long run I really feel that they just don't work. Heck, doing what I'm doing now is working, and no dieting has taken place. It's simple; eat right and get off your bum every now and then.

2. Tardiness. ACK!!! At my job my supervisor said that this semester has shown the most problems with people being late/not showing up for work. Drives me NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you're going to be there then be there! Or at least call if you're going to be late!

3. Peer Pressure. This has been a lingering pet peeve of mine for as long as I can remember. I've been in the midst of this many times in my high school and young adult life. I can't describe the feeling of being backed into a corner with nobody to defend you. In life we've always been taught that no means NO, yet for some I've encountered in my life they just can't get that in their heads. It's frustrating and at times scary, especially when you find yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in. It can be awkward too, but you just have to be true to yourself and stick with what you feel comfortable with.

4. Complaining about being tired for being up all night. "Oh my gosh I'm so tired. I stayed up all night and couldn't get to sleep because I left my phone on and everybody was texting me. I wish I could sleep." Hmm...here's an idea; turn the phone off and SLEEP. Now I understand sometimes work and projects keep one up all night, but...staying up all night for no reason and then having the audacity to complain about it? No thanks.

5. Getting even or saying you're going to get even. Really? What are you, four? Because I know people who think fighting fire with fire is going to solve everything. It isn't. At all. What ever happened to just talking and trying to reach a solution?

We are Second. Are you Second?

Kelly: The other day, I was at work when Holly told me that I should watch this video. So I did. If you're not familiar with the speaker presented in the video, you will be. If you've seen Facing the Giants, Courageous, Fireproof or Flywheel, then you're already familiar. Anyway, there are more of these videos and they are speaking on behalf of a non-profit called I Am Second. The basic premise of I Am Second is that God and others are first while we are second. Makes sense? Makes sense to me. But the point of today's post is for us to talk about what we feel it means to be...second. 

Every day, I do my best to live for God and to follow His will in my life. The most simple principles of being a follower of Christ is to love God and to love others. I give 110% of everything that I do, and being in nursing is a prime example of basically getting paid to do what God has called us to do. And it's easy to do! But also, being second to me is keeping your mind open to the possibilities of failures or falling short. And it will happen....OFTEN. But we have God's everlasting strength to catch us when we fall and to pick us up again! Some days are easier than others, especially when things are going right. I think it's harder to be second when things are going wrong, because our inner "me" monsters want to rear their ugly heads. "Why is this happening to me?" "This isn't fair; I don't deserve this!" "Things aren't going my way." "Well I'm going to do it this way because it's about me anyway." I've heard them all. I've said them all. I'm trying to not get consumed with the me-centered world we live in; instead I'm doing my best to live for a God that created all us me monsters in the first place. It's a challenge that has to be taken heavily...daily. But in my opinion, it's worth it.

My name is Kelly, and I am Second...or at least I'm trying to be.

Holly: These videos absolutely amaze and inspire me because it just goes to show how much God will bless you if you let Him!  So many times at church our pastor prays "Get me out of the way."  Our society is so self-centered: how YOU can be more successful, how YOU can be a better spouse, how YOU can get on the road to the American dream, how YOU can have it all, do it all, how YOU can be better, faster, stronger, smarter, skinnier, healthier, prettier, more confident.......

Honestly, I used to be like that.  I used to do whatever was best for Holly.  I used to help people and then think "Well, what's in it for me?"  I used to do whatever it took just so Holly could get her way.  Thank God I've grown up since then and realized that life is not about me.  We are here to love God with all that we are and to love our neighbors as ourselves.  Kind of hard and counterproductive to do that when you're a one man me-fest, isn't it?  For me, being second is simple: start and end every day with God.  Pray consistently.  Thank Him for all that you have, and ask for His mercy to cover those who are less fortunate.  Put other's needs ahead of your own.  Smile.  It's taking some getting used to, and I know I have so much to learn, still. But I'm working on giving EVERYTHING I have to God and having faith that He will carry us through life.  Complete and utter surrender.  It's not easy, but I know it will be worth it.

I am a living testament of God and His grace; I used to be all about me.  But He's gotten a hold of me and given me a joy and spirit for encouraging, uplifting others, and making them laugh.  Who am I to keep that to myself?  

My name is Holly, and I am second.

God can do whatever He wants to do, however He wants to do it.  He chooses to work in our lives because He loves us, because He's good.  -Facing the Giants

Car Talk

Kelly: Today Holly and I were talking about this past week and what has gone on. These conversations occurred driving home from church as we headed out to dog sit for a couple from church who were out of town this weekend. Anyway, this past week has had a few bumps for me. On Tuesday as I was heading out the door to church choir, I received a phone call I was not expecting. To make a long story short, because of some nursing skills I had failed to not complete yet (the day I originally intended to complete them I was sick. Boo), I was pulled out of clinicals until I completed them. (I'm completing them this week and will be returning on site this Thursday.) Anyway, this news upset me. I became angry, threw my phone, said a few choice words, cried a little, but still went to church choir like nothing happened. Prayed a lot to God that night, cried myself to sleep that night, was questioning why this was happening. I woke up Wednesday morning, eyes sore and not ready to face what was coming. But by the end of the day, my mindset had completely changed. Funny how that works, isn't it?

As I continue my walk with the Lord, one of my hang-ups I'm still trying to work on is control. I tend to let myself get out of control when things...don't really go as planned. I was talking to Holly about this regarding what happened Tuesday evening. I told her now that that has happened I realized that now I acted and said things that did not reflect that God is in control. Yet I have the audacity to claim that I follow a God who controls my life and everything about it, yet I let myself go out of control when something I wasn't expecting happens. Then I think....well I shouldn't have done that or said what I did. Smack. But as we continued to talk, we both came to a realization. These things happen. A few bumps are going to happen. God allows these things to happen and it's up to us to figure out what to do. He gives us the freedom to choose whether or not to scream, cry, throw things or to lift up our hands and say "God, take it. I'm giving it to you because I don't want to depend on anyone but you." I'll admit; sometimes it's hard to make that choice because I think in the moment we WANT to be angry, hurt, frustrated, upset, or sad. And I'm not saying that's bad. But I think that if we continue to let those feelings grow and hold them in, then that becomes bad.

I'll close with this; today Pastor Kevin talked about the two greatest commandments in the Bible (Matthew 22:37-40 for an FYI). We are to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves. Something that he said....just put everything into a new lens to look at. "You can fail at your education. You can fail at your business. You can fail at your financial goals. But if you love God with all that you are and love your neighbor as yourself, then you have done what you have been called on Earth to do." Or something close to that. All I can say is sometimes things happen that we don't expect. But if we claim to carry the name Christ, we can't let the love and joy He's given us ruin that! It's something I'm trying to work on. Challenge accepted.

Holly: One of the big questions that was asked was "Do you ever feel like a failure?"  I think,  without even hesitating, Kelly and I answered "Yes".  Because, from the outside looking in, I'm not accomplishing much with my life.  I'm almost a year out of graduating from Berea.  The longest I've held a job (to date) is six months.  Since losing that job I have yet to find another job that has anything to do with my major (Biology, for those of you living under a rock).  That was in November of 2012.  It is now almost March of 2013.  So what am I doing now? I work at Old Navy.  I'm lucky to get three shifts a week.  Yep, this Biology major graduate from Berea College is working in retail.  Folks, I have to admit that in more instances than I care to admit, sometimes I drive up and I wonder aloud "What in the WORLD am I doing?  Why am I doing this with my life?  How has my life ended up in this way?"

But there is so much more to life than this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And today reminded me of that.

Honestly, my life have gone in directions that I couldn't have even anticipated, and yet, I finally feel like things are coming together.  I sincerely do my best to share love with others; be accepting instead of refuting, laughing with my co-workers who come from such different walks of life than I do, offering a smile to a stranger.  And God has been way too good to me to not love Him!  It's God.  It's all God!  And I'm doing my best to have faith in Him and to trust in Him despite my circumstances.  I'm not saying that all days are cake, but it definitely does change my perspective on the way I view hardships and things that come my way.

I know some of you out there are questioning as to whether your life has meaning, purpose.  Let me close with this: Toward the end of the message this morning, Kevin said that you are either good soil or bad soil; meaning: Has your walk with Christ changed because of someone you know, and vice versa?  Please know that I GUARANTEE that you have influenced my life in one way or another, and I just wanted to say thank you.  I sincerely pray that I will influence someone's life just by me being in it.  It's time for our society to be selfLESS, not selfISH.  :)

A Bad Egg

Kelly: On the way to campus this morning, Holly and I were talking about bad days. Like I said in an earlier post from Facebook this week, it had been no surprise that I have been sort of a grump these past few days.   That has since changed and I'm not a grump anymore, but I found myself wondering why I was grumpy. Well, I had a lot to do in a short amount of time, things at work were a bit hectic as we were trying to get ready for our open house tomorrow night, and of course my clinical schedule. That in of itself is like having an additional job on top of my already job. Anyway, I soon realized that it was a lot of little things that were happening throughout the week but not on the same day. Murphy's Law kind of week I suppose. This morning I was a bit on edge as well, as I haven't been feeling the greatest all day. Going to the doc tomorrow. But I was talking to Holly and I said "you know, despite all that's going on,  I can't even remember the last time I had a bad day." Then it had me thinking...what constitutes a "bad day?" Is it the whole day or just a part of the day?

For many I know, it's a part of the day. For a while that was my definition too. There's one tiny part of the day that goes sour and then boom. The whole day suddenly sucks. After a while though, again, like many of these posts with the label "perspective," mine changed. Why do we always let one moment ruin our entire day? WHY? It's like getting feedback on a paper or presentation; there's one negative comment and a lot more positive comments. But what one do we always focus on? The one negative. And then we dwell on it and dwell on it...or at least I do. What is it about negativity that attracts us? So what I'm trying to do is not let the one negative thing constitute as a bad day in my book. Why let one small bad egg ruin the rest of the batch? It doesn't have to!

Holly: Trust me, this used to be me.  One thing would go wrong and I'd be all "well that's it now today just sucks!"  Life doesn't have to be that way.  We are not in bondage to all those stupid little things that go wrong in life; we are in control of how we deal with them, and I think the way we deal with such things says a lot about our character.  You can completely lose your crap, or just take it in stride, let it go, and move on.  Because in the grand scheme of things, we really don't have it as bad as we think we do.

Why are we so ingrained on focusing on the bad, but not the good?  It's like you get a review at work or something, and you can have 32345 GOOD things said about you and then ONE bad thing, and what do we immediately focus on...the ONE bad thing?  Bad things are usually not personal, they're usually someone on the receiving end out to get you.  Seriously.  Trust me on this one.

I'm with Kelly on this one...I honestly can't remember the last time I had a "bad day".  Want my advice?  That one thing someone says/does that gets under your skin? Forget about it.  That little snide remark someone made about you? Laugh it off.  That person you're holding a grudge against?  Let it go.  Negativity is POWERFUL...I believe any time that we are mulling in our negative junk we are being robbed of time that we could be spending laughing or spreading positive energy to others...or just simply being freaking happy!  Don't ever let anything or anyone steal your joy in life!  We are so much more than that!

The Crisis Mode!!!!!

Kelly: This morning sis and I had somewhat of an interesting conversation. We were talking about really really stressful situations and what we did to get over them. Our responses were typical; we did the usual "short term" relief efforts to combat our stress. Here's what I mean.

Last year when I was in the PACU (post-anesthesia care unit) after watching a patient go through a seemingly routine surgery, her BP shot through the roof. This was related to several factors, but anyway it escalated pretty quickly. I noticed that the nurse kept IV pushing two medications that I had never heard of. I later learned that they were anti-hypertensives but were very short acting. So every few minutes the nurse would have to give just a little bit more. While this was going on, I  was thinking "well shouldn't somebody be trying to figure out what the problem is or look for a more long term solution?" Eventually they did and the patient was transported to intensive care.

"Wow! Great story Kelly! Now what in the heck are you talking about?" Well I'm getting there. In a crisis situation, when you feel like there's no way out, often times we turn to short term solutions just to temporarily take the edge off. People do this in many ways; post about it on Facebook  browse a few recipes on Pinterest, or turn to more harmful measures such as drinking or smoking. And sure, those measures make us feel good and block out the world for a bit, but the minute you turn off the web browser, or put that bottle down or put that butt out, what you were trying to avoid is still right where you left it. It didn't go away, so we keep going back to those temporary measures. But like the patient I saw, until a long-term solution was reached, the nurse was going to have to keep pushing those medications. So here's a challenge for you all (and for me as well), instead of seeking temporary relief when stressful times hit, look into the root of the problem and come up with a long-term solution. That way, you won't have to be standing over yourself self-administering that temporary fix.

Holly: Ugh....now that I'm older I am so over these "quick fixes" to life situations.  My philosophy is if it ain't a permanent solution then I'm not even going to waste my time!  I used to be a horrible procrastinator.  Still am, I suppose.  But while I was busy all aboard the procrastination express, I had the mindset of "Oh, well, God will provide this and that, etc."  Which is VERY true.  I'm not mean to be sacrilegious.  But yesterday Kelly and I were doing our LoTR devotional and a topic similar to this one came up, and it dawned on me: Yes, God DOES provide, and He is faithful, but sometimes He might want us to change something about our lifestyle, a nasty habit we have, etc.

Think about it this way:  Say you have a monster deadline/paper/project/major life stressor due in a short amount of time.  You've known about it for a while now, but now it's getting down to the wire and you realize you've barely put a dent in it.  As that time you thought you had so much of comes to a halt, you remember your thinking something along the lines of "Oh, I've got time, it'll get done, I'll finish it..." (Sounding a little familiar yet??????)

When you say you want to stop procrastinating, or stressing yourself out, or whatever you need to fix, say the words and PUT ACTIONS behind them.  With me, I combated my procrastination by doing my work, REALLY DOING my work, DISCIPLINING myself to do my work, and I set a goal.  If I reached that goal, I would spend 15 minutes or so indulging in mindless internet culture.  After my 15 minutes (I timed myself...seriously!!!!), it was back to work.  Ask Kelly what she does.  Seriously.  She is ON TOP of her game this semester, y'all!

One more piece of advice: if you KNOW of something coming up that you have to do, take the necessary steps to prepare it.  If you're a slow reader, start your reading earlier.  If you have a paper due in two weeks, write a little bit every day, even if it's just a paragraph or two.  Be diligent with your time and LIMIT yourself if you have to (Which, let's face it....YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!!).  If you just do a little bit of planning, preparation, and extra work and initiative, then you will avoid crisis modes for a long time to come.

What's your appleseed?

Kelly: There is a reason for the crazy title that will be explained in a little bit. Anyway, the topic for this blog today is regarding fear. What in the world are we so afraid of? I could rattle off a few things, such as snakes, falling off really high places, and stinging bugs. Yeah. But if there was something that REALLY got me bone-chilling afraid...it'd be this.

Pain. Never knowing again what not having pain feels like. Yes, I am talking about my ankle...again. Now before you automatically disregard this, please don't. I've been thinking about how to describe what I'm so afraid of for a while, but after today at church I finally understand. I am afraid that I will never be pain-free again. It's not a phobia, but yeah. It does scare me. I have felt on numerous occasions that I will be the way I am for the rest of my life. And I haven't accepted that yet...because I'm afraid to. See where all the fear is coming from? But today, I've thought of something different. Something in a way that I haven't heard before.

Hope.

There is. There always is. And God...my God...is so much bigger than your fears. Than my fears. Than all my pain and worry about never knowing no pain. And that gives me hope. That is what has fueled me in all the areas in my life; that hope that God is so much bigger than all my junk that He has erased and freed me from! It is not His will for us to live in fear; to live in bondage of this and that and then some. But...it's a choice. I am trusting Him, or at least learning to trust Him more. It hasn't been easy. Some days it's easy to trust God; some days, most days, it's really hard. But I make a choice. Daily. So now I ask this; what are you afraid of? What are you doing about it? Are you ok with living in fear or is today the day you're going to decide that you don't have to? That it's not your will to do so? Yes. I'm still in pain. But God is bigger than pain.

Holly: The title comes from the sermon today: our pastor mistaking a bed bug in his 2-year-old daughter's bedroom for a mere appleseed (the story is much more humorous than I'm letting on).  But what I'm getting at is this: why do we WORRY???????????? All. The. Time?          qwvgbsegbf (attack of the Yoda...sorry)

We get so bent out of shape with worry and fear that it distorts reality...we see things that simply are not there.  We get crazy ideas planted in our head, we have visions of crazy things that could, should, might happen.  And then what happens, 9 times out of 10, is that we worry over absolutely NOTHING.  Kelly used to get herself physically sick over worrying; kid you not.

The challenge from today was what if Christians, PEOPLE, lived in simple faith and not fear?  That doesn't mean that us as Christians are going to have hard times and struggle.  But the difference is that we can choose to trust in the One who knows all, sees all, created all, and dealt with it all whenever we have a hard time.  Whenever we feel that age-old fear creeping up again.  It's a choice, like Kelly said.  We can either choose to continue to let fear cripple us to the point of distorting reality, or we can do something about it.  If you know that something in your life is causing you worry, pray about it.  TRUST that God will see you through it, and REFLECT on all the things that God has already carried you through, and then IMAGINE all the things that God is going to carry you through in the future!!!!

How's that for making an appleseed into an apple tree?

Honesty without the hurt

Holly: Earlier today Kelly and I got into an argument.  A pretty heated one.  It eventually culminated into a battle of "well now I'M going to be honest about this and that", and we both said some things.  I was really hurt by what she said.  Really hurt.  We've since made up and all that, but it just got me to thinking about honesty and being honest.  Now, I'm all for it, personally.  HOWEVER, I think that sometimes there is a line between being honest and being hurtful.  We have good intentions, but sometimes what we say just comes out really really wrong, and people interpret things differently.  I also think there's some degree of a need-to-know basis when it comes to being honest.

Let me give you an example: I love the tv show Sherlock.  I also love the two starring actors in said show (Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch, for those back home and/or living under a rock).  If I were ever blessed enough to get the opportunity to meet them (hey, a girl can dream, right?), of course I would tell them things like "Hi, I love your work on Sherlock, and I love your passion and humility for your job, it's really inspiring, you have an extraordinary amount of talent, etc" (Which is all very true, by the way).  Would I go on to say that I find them both incredibly attractive and secretly hope that they would retire to the States and live in my kitchen and play with my cats?  Um...no, probably not.  Like I said: need. to. know. basis.

I apologize for my silly and fangirl struck example, but what I'm getting at is this: I appreciate people and their insatiable need to be honest, but a rule of thumb for me is to ask this: is what I am about to tell this person going to build them up, help them become better, or is it going to bring them down?  Because if you know you're going to hurt someone with your words, it's probably better to just not say anything at all.  Another thing: if you absolutely MUST get the truth out, try to find a way to word it in a way that won't come across as hurtful.  And sometimes, if people WANT a brush with honesty......they'll ask for it.  Bottom line: think before we speak.

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.  ~James 1:19

Kelly: The beauty of being a twin is that we have differing opinions on soooo many aspects of life and we respect each other's opinion. This is one of those aspects in which our opinions differ. (and 3 DAYS LATER I pick back up on this....wow.) For me, I feel that when someone asks you to be honest with them, you are always taking a risk. Taking that risk because what you say may make them mad. Or hurt their feelings. Or awaken them.

But what happens if they DON'T ask and the truth just comes out? How do you deal with the blow that may come after it? Well...speaking from experience the truth comes out when the timing just wasn't good. In fact it was quite crappy. You have to realize that when you're speaking the truth you shouldn't be intending to hurt someone on purpose. I've been asked "well why don't you just not say it?" How am I supposed to know what I say will hurt someone? Again, goes back to taking a risk. I feel that if the timing is right the truth should come out, regardless. Once again, speaking from experience, I know that sometimes I need somebody to be brutally honest with me but I don't necessarily ask for it. I feel that sometimes honesty shouldn't be prompted, harsh truth I apologize. But I also feel that it is ok to ask for that brutal honesty. I'm so indecisive on this issue...truth is it's all arbitrary.

Here's another take on the issue that we did not discuss; being honest with yourself. Having a conscious. Making a promise to complete something then not going forth with it. That can hurt sometimes too. I know when I do that I feel disappointed. Like I let myself down. I think that's almost worse than letting someone else down. The saying is true...you are your own worst critique. It's easy to look in the mirror and feel good about yourself when you look good, but man....I think it's even easier to tear yourself down. Folks, that is just not healthy. At all. And what's also sad is that I do not know how we can stop that. I have no shred of advice of how we can stop tearing ourselves down. That's a sad truth for me to admit. But for now, I think that something we can all do is think. Think about others in our lives. Take that risk if they ask for honesty; be wary if they don't. But for goodness sake let's be honest with ourselves too! Hold onto what we say we're going to do or want to do and do it! If we don't or if we screw up, think, pray, reflect and try again. :]