Things change/remembering Brian

Kelly: The ever so cliche saying of God making good out of something bad really is true. We were 15 when Brian passed away; still young and clueless. Heck, I'm still young and clueless, but that's beside the point. But after the funeral, I remember feeling a sense of closure, but that sense of closure soon turning into anger. I was angry at God; angry and wondering how He could take someone I had barely known away from me. From the rest of his friends. From his family. It didn't seem fair. A few weeks prior to his death, he went to some camp....sadly I can't remember which one, and he accepted Christ. Again, I don't remember where I heard that from. He was about to start his senior year of high school and was supposed to graduate with our brother.

Then coming to college and things changed. I thought about Brian a lot. But that night I accepted Christ into my life (again) I realized and was comforted at the fact that he was in Heaven with Jesus, and it felt...right. And now, fast forward to 9 years later. I'm working where I love and loving what I do. So often I get patients who are depressed and want to end their own lives, usually because of a loss in their lives. Lost their jobs, going through a divorce/separation, and most often loss of a loved one. I always try to tell them that times are hard, but somehow we find the strength to make it through. My strength came from (and still does) come from God, but way back then I didn't realize that. Or if I did, I was just too busy being pissed off. And now, our lives are going on, and the world is still spinning. I still do think of Brian, but not as often as I used to. But when I do think of him, I think of my other friends, who for whatever reason or rhyme are still in my life but live far away. I don't know when I'll ever see them again, but I pray for their happiness and safety often. I am at peace, because I know Brian is in a better place, and I do hope one day when my time comes I will see him again.

Holly: It's amazing, and a bit staggering, to be honest, at how sometimes things can change so quickly.  Like this week, for example.  Monday, I woke up to another normal work day; Tuesday, I had my Grow Appalachia interview; Wednesday, another work day; Thursday, I received the offer; and yesterday, I submitted my resignation to my supervisor.  That's that.  It's done, just like that.  On paper, my last day at UK is August 15th, just shy of three weeks from now.  My days at UK are numbered, I have some time in between, and then on August 25th I hop on a plane to either Philadelphia, DC, Columbus, or Atlanta, and start a new chapter in my life.  Things change.

And then, yesterday, I thought a lot of Brian.  I still remember that day very fondly; just another day of marching band practice.  We were all in the auditorium and then my friend was running to Kelly and I saying "it's Brian, he's gone."  Things change.

Yesterday, July 25th, was 9 years since we lost our friend Brian, killed in a car accident.  Brian was a friend whom we had just barely gotten to know, and yet...I don't know if I can speak for everyone, but I felt as if I'd known him my whole life.  He could make anybody laugh.  When we all parted ways for the summer I almost couldn't wait for the new school year to start, just to see what sort of shenanigans our group could get into.  Our group all saw each other again that summer, but it was at his funeral.  Not long after that, school started again.  That was 9 years ago.  I was 15 years old, still a kid, still had so much of high school left, hadn't even heard of Berea College, thought that friendships lasted forever, thought band was my world, and you know...the list goes on.  I've done a lot of growing up since then, but I still think of Brian often.  Things change, yes they do.  But never forget where you were and what has happened.

We all change, when you think about it.  We are all different people, all through our lives, and that's ok! That's good!  You've got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people you used to be.

30 Days of Sherlock: Favorite Sherlock actor

Note: Today, we would like to dedicate this post to our dear friend Brian.  Eight years ago today he was killed in a car accident.  He was supposed to graduate high school with our brother.  He was a truly remarkable and wonderful friend who gave the best hugs and knew how to make anyone laugh.  We miss you, Brian.

Kelly: All I can say is thank God that I am not the same person that I was when I was that unsure, angry and upset 15 year old. Anyway, thanks to the website Sherlockstuff, I've been able to track my favorite Sherlock actor (and one of my favorite favorite actors anyway) and see some of his other work. He's been involved in a variety of other roles, in rom coms, historical flicks and of course, Bilbo Baggins in the upcoming Hobbit film trilogy.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am tipping my hat off this morning to Martin Freeman. I've only known the name for about a year, but did recognize him in Shaun of The Dead, Hot Fuzz and Love Actually before I knew who he was. It was right around this time last year that we got into Sherlock as well; if I'm not mistaken we viewed Reichenbach on this day last year. When I saw Martin's performance in that episode, and seeing the real hurt and numbness that comes upon finding out your worst fear, that's when I fell in love with him not only as an actor but as John Watson. If you have never experienced loss before, you don't know what that feels like. I don't know if Martin has, but I have. And I remember watching the episode and thinking "that is EXACTLY how I felt when I heard about Brian." And just like that, I was 15 years old again.

So if you haven't seen some of Martin's other work, I would highly recommend it. I would recommend The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy, The Good Night, and Nativity! (those are my favorites that he's in). 

Holly: I too also love Martin Freeman.  And not just because he's John Watson (Seriously, you crazy Sherlock fans.....seriously.  Watch his other stuff.  He's so much more than that.  I seriously doubt he went through the training and schooling he did just to be known by "Jawn"...he's Martin Freeman! Ok, ending rant now).  I love him for his versatility.  I've seen the majority of his work, and every performance of his is completely seamless.  I especially love him in Nativity; he portrays the crochety Scroogy primary school teacher so well.  He's so believable! Like Kelly, I also recommend her recommendations, but I also recommend a comedy show called Bruiser.  He's quite funny!

Another good scene of his is from "Swinging with the Finkels."  Unfortunately, I gave the movie a half hour before I quit watching it, so I skipped to the end and ohhhhh....it's so sweet.  That last scene!!!! I'm not even going to post it here; you can find it on YouTube.

My recommendation for any actor you really like: watch their other works.  Branch out of your box a little.  I guarantee that your respect for him/her will increase exponentially.  And then you can daydream about meeting them and having an intellectual conversation with them, instead of something like "OHMYGLOB I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN AND I LOVE SHERLOCK AND YOU'RE SO GOOD AS DR WATSON AND akljdgflkajdsgbkand.bkn.adjf...gkajewoituaoweut."  Catch my drift?

Bruiser: Touchy

Bruiser: Overanalyzing  (do apologize, there is a bit of language)

30 Days of Sherlock: A moment that made you cry

Holly: Reichenbach hits really close to home to me and Kelly.  She explains it much better than I can, but the conveying of reactions that John gives after Sherlock's "death" is very similar to what I personally felt after we lost our friend Brian, who was killed in a car accident.  John's reaction is so chilling- it's just numbness, blank.  That's how I was at first: I was just praying that it was some sort of joke, that he would just walk into the hallway and give me one of his trademark hugs.  But he didn't.  It really didn't hit me until his funeral.  Sherlock's "death" didn't really hit John until he saw his grave.

What really gets me in Reichenbach is what happens after John sees Sherlock's grave: he straightens up and puts on his soldier face and soldiers on.  I realize that eventually, that's what we all have to do after we lose someone close to us.  But for John, it's like he's accepted it already, even though at one point he pleads for Sherlock to not be dead.  Martin Freeman's entire performance those last few minutes of Reichenbach is just so powerful.  I dare you to watch it and not be affected by it.

Kelly: Ironically, the night that we watched Reichenbach was on the same night of the 7 year anniversary of a friend's passing. I did not know what was coming when I viewed the episode for the first time; all I knew was what my friends who were fans of the show told me, which was that we would hate the ending. But watching the dialogue between Sherlock and John on the roof was....powerful, to say the least. Then, John's reaction after watching his best friend die in front of his very eyes was not what I was expecting. I was expecting an outpouring of emotions, tears and frantic behavior. But all you saw was just a blank and numb appearing expression. He doesn't actually shed any tears until seeing Sherlock's grave. None of the dialogue affected me, but seeing that expression completely moved me to tears, because I have been there. I saw myself in John's face. And Martin did such an excellent job; I feel to pull off something so moving you have to put yourself in the role. You have to know what that feels like; to lose someone you care about. Holly and I watched the episode again rather recently and I had the same reaction, because I've continued to know what that feels like, after losing my Grandpa a little over two months ago. That pain, that hurt, is real. If I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure Martin won a BAFTA for that episode; I know for the role of John Watson at least. Well deserving, if you ask me.

It's those actors and those performances that stand out from the rest. It's the genuine and realistic reactions, feelings, emotions and thoughts that stick in the back of your mind. In a parallel universe in my wildest dreams if I ever had the chance to meet Martin Freeman, I would say what I just wrote about. Good work, in my opinion, often goes unnoticed. And if you need further proof of how captivating the performance was, read this. A fan wrote a letter to Martin's brother the night after she viewed Reichenbach for the first time. Gave me goosebumps.

An Open letter to Martin Freeman

Sherlock and 7 years later: A memoir and thoughts contributing to a dear friend.

Kelly: I was fifteen years old, just coming home from another night of band practice when I got the news. My best friend's mom actually told us. She said there was an accident that involved two people, one of them being my friend Brian. She then said it was speculated and there was nothing released yet. I got home and my dad called the police to see if there were any reports. Nothing. I went to bed that night and prayed that the rumors were not true. Woke up the next morning to find out that they were indeed true. Brian was gone.

I remember for a while just being numb and in shock. How could something like this have happened? I didn't even cry until the funeral, which was two days later. It was on Friday, July 27. This year the 27th is on a Friday. Ironic. Maybe not. After the funeral I remember being angry for a while. It shook my faith in Christ a lot, and for a while I was angry at God. For taking away a friend of mine that I only knew for a short amount of time. 7 years have since passed. I've grown up a lot and I realize now that God was there the entire time, but I was too angry and I continued to push Him away. Ok, that's not the point.

Last night, Holly and I watched the series 2 finale of Sherlock. Just became addicts this weekend and now we have to wait possibly at least a year to figure out what happens next. If you've not seen this show, DO IT. It is fantastic! Anyway, I will try not to give too much away, but the end of the episode had reached a very climatic end. It was sad, beautiful and just....riveting. I held my breath the whole time. Anyway, at the end, Dr. Watson in a soliloquy, is speaking to a late Sherlock Holmes. He says these words:

"But please, there's just this one more thing. One more thing, one more miracle for me, Sherlock. Don't...be dead. Would you do that for me? Just stop this. Stop this."

I just froze after I heard this. I remember thinking the same things 7 years ago when I first heard the news. Maybe if I woke up the next morning it wouldn't be true. And like me, Dr. Watson was in shock after the horrific death of Sherlock. Just...numb. No tears shed, but just frozen. Like I was. Didn't cry till a few days later. That's when it hit us that Sherlock wasn't coming back. Brian wasn't coming back.  Today, I know Brian is in a better place. And that's not just Christian talk; it's faith. It doesn't have to make sense, but it just is. I long for the day when I will see him again. His life has made me on many occasions examine my own life. What I miss the most about him was his hugs. When I was in school I looked forward to a Brian hug. He was just such a sweet guy with a big heart. It's not goodbye for me, but a see you soon in the future.

Holly: This morning as I was driving to work I was saying that it felt unreal to me that 7 years had already passed, because I still remember EXACTLY what went on that day.  It was just another day of marching band practice.  And then it wasn't...

I was also recounting that the beautifully executed line in Sherlock really struck me because, like Kelly, it was exactly what was going through my mind when the car accident was first just a speculation.  Please, don't let Brian be dead.  Just stop all of this crazy talk.  But, as you've probably figured out, it wasn't just a rumor. 

I posted on my Facebook this morning that Brian was one of those people who made your life better just because he was in it.  I only knew him for a short time, but he definitely up my life in that period.  He made me laugh. All the time.  I only hope that I can live my life like Brian did...much like Dr. Watson did...being a friend.