Schtuff twin girls say

Holly and Kelly: A while back ago, Holly and I were talking about the fact that we sometimes say some utterly stupid and ridiculous things that really make us laugh. I don't remember which one of us suggested it, but it was suggested that we keep a list of some of these silly/stupid things and post them on a blog to make us laugh. So here you have it; a collective list of our funnies over the last almost month or so:

"You rolled over, Yoda. I'm so proud of you!"  ~Holly

Kelly: No emails for the last 2 hours.
Holly: That's an abomination.

"Richard Armitage sort of looks like Jesus."  ~Holly

"No. Nursing students only. You're not allowed in the club." (Kelly's response when Holly asked to go to a lunch with a convo speaker the dept sponsored.)

"EXCUSE ME. Men get breast cancer, Kelly!" ~Holly

"I RAN OUT OF GAS, WILEY!" ~Kelly playing the "Google" Zamboni game

"Is pudding a carb?"  ~Kelly

"Everybody needs help.  If you say you don't need help, then you need help." ~Kelly

Kelly: They do it at 7 in the morning (community Zumba classes)
Holly: That should be illegal.

"Kelly, look at our child.  She is licking the string." ~Holly

Holly: Haven't seen the ice cream lady van in a while.
Kelly: It's winter.
Holly: Yeah.  But ice cream is good anytime.

"They're doing a live recording of a concert. Are they going to be recording us too? At least my hair looks good." ~Holly

"Balin is like dwarf Buddha...or dwarf Confucius." ~Holly (when discussing our favorite Hobbit dwarves)

"Spiders need Jesus too." ~Kelly

"I think your boots gave me shin splints." ~Kelly

"No, Google, I do not want to open 24 tabs." ~Holly

"DO NOT. THROW. THE CAT!" ~Holly

"I could be a dwarf.  I can sing.  I took archery.  I like food.  Let's do this!" ~Holly

(in reference to Sherlock and John being gay). "I don't mind gay people. Really I don't. It's all fine. But STOP!!!!!" ~Holly

"There is a method to my madness." ~Kelly

(after coming home from her first 12-hour clinical) "I'm going to eat like a fatty." ~Kelly

"I don't like Motor Pool minivans.  They give me panic attacks." ~Kelly

"Go make me a brownie. I'm doing homework." ~Kelly

"I am the reason we can't have nice things." ~Holly

after roommate suggested she should probably do her dance workout:
Kelly: I should probably do...a lot of things.
Holly: I should probably just stop being awesome.

"Stop...with your cake." ~Holly

"Don't have clinicals! I want to watch Phantom of the Opera!" ~Holly

"Don't talk to me about poop.  Or breaks." ~Kelly

"I'm afraid of taxes, the IRS...IRA...whatever they are, that they're going to kick down the door and be like 'YOU'RE FULL OF CRAP, HOLLY KORB, AND WE'RE GOING TO AUDIT YOU!!!!!'" ~Holly

Holly about a new British soap-opera esque show that we've started watching: "It's my new guilty pleasure, I swear.  Suddenly I'm a 40-year-old British housewife."

"A camera should follow us around for a week. That would stop reality TV." ~Holly

(watching Lion King): James Earl Jones just needs to narrate my life. At all times.  ~Holly

"ERRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFF!" ~Kelly

"I quit at life." ~Kelly, during fits of clinical, fatigue-induced delirium

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just infested you with my sick!" ~Holly, taking a bite of Kelly's food

Kelly: What are you making?
Holly: Peas, pig and pasta. (pig= pork chops, just for clarification)
Kelly: Oh. Do you need help with the peas, pig and pasta?
Holly: Nope.
Kelly: Did you get that off Pinterest?

"I can't use my food stamps because Martin Freeman didn't win an Emmy." ~Kelly

(Holly, while licking the bowl after making cupcakes) "You know how everyone is rooting for the 49ers and the Ravens...you know what I'm rooting for? My waistline."

"Who cares about aesthetics? Get in my belly!" ~Holly while making food

"I don't want to hear anything about you all being hungry. I spent $120 on food today!" ~Kelly
"Hey Kelly....I'm hungry." ~Holly

(roommate shows a picture of Kili) "Ehhh...I don't really think he's all that attractive." ~Holly
"But I wouldn't object if he showed up at the apartment." ~Kelly
(about a minute later) "I wouldn't object if any of the dwarves showed up at the apartment." ~Kelly

"I did not spend 5 years of college to wear a pink stole!" ~Kelly

"Kelly, I am NOT putting $8 jeans on layaway!" ~Holly

"Sometimes when life sucks, just remember that cupcakes were invented." ~Kelly

"They should just rename the next 'Star Trek' movie to 'Benedict Cumberbatch.'" ~Holly