To have or not to have (kiddos/wee ones)

Kelly: DISCLAIMER: WE LOVE OUR MOM FRIENDS AND YOUR CHILDREN! THIS POST HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH "MOM BASHING," OR BRATTY KIDS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. ANYTHING SHARED IN THIS POST IS PURELY OUR OWN THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND CONVERSATIONS THAT THE TWO OF US HAD. SO MOMS AND OUR MOM FRIENDS, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, BECAUSE YOU'RE DOING A FANTASTIC JOB!!!!! OK???? OK!!!

I am 25 years old. I am a nurse. I love my family, friends, my job and doing what I do. I hope one day that God will give me "the one," and that I will get married and live happily ever after (that's a good one) with my future husband. I pray that I will find a Godly man who loves God first, supports me in whatever I decide and remembers daily the promise he made to me and before God. If/when I meet "the one," this truth I am about to reveal may be a deal breaker, and I've come to terms with that.

I don't want children.

I have absolutely nothing against my mom friends or moms in general, like mentioned in the above disclaimer. Now before you try to say "oh but when you meet the one you'll change your mind," or "when the time is right you'll want them."  I will say thank you and smile. But I'm not going to change my mind; I'm just being honest. And this isn't something that I've thought overnight, no. This has been my way of thinking for years now. Quite a few years. I've honestly just never seen myself becoming a mother. I've never had that desire. Please don't be sad on my behalf, please. I really do like kids. I've enjoyed watching the kids grow up at my church and become mature and responsible young men and women. I enjoyed babysitting in high school (and still do!). I enjoy some of my mom friends sharing their funny stories on Facebook about their kid stories. There are a lot of reasons why I don't want children, and that right now is not the point of this post. Why am I sharing this? What's the point of this? I don't know; this is something that's been weighing on my heart to share for a while now. I honestly don't know why now. But now you know.

And yes, maybe one day I will change my mind. I've always been open to that possibility. And if I do change my mind, I hope to be as great of a mom as my mom is.

Holly: First off, I would like to echo Kelly's statement, and that is do not be sad for her.  There is SO MUCH more to life than having children (Although kids are great and I'm sure they bring fulfillment and joy and all kinds of other stuff to your life) I wouldn't know because we do not have any.

I don't share the same side as Kelly, in the sense that I honestly don't know whether or not I want children. My mind changes often, and it flip flops so much because although I am completely and totally amazed and in awe at the concept of being pregnant and all that comes during and after, it's the after that is just a mind-boggling amount of responsibility that, quite frankly, scares me. There is no room for selfishness. You have to invest hours and hours and hours of time, love, nurturing and sleepless nights with absolutely no idea of the outcome (All you can do is the aforementioned and pray that your child doesn't turn into a total monster).

I hope to be married someday, and when I think about my life with my future husband, I picture us traveling together, sharing life together, doing all the crazy stuff I do with Kelly, together! I love the idea of sharing my life with my "soulmate" and the one that God has intended for me to be with, rather than sharing my life with my "soulmate" and one or two mini "us"es. I guess the bottom line is that I won't be devastated if my husband and I don't have children. But if we do, well then...adventure is out there! :)

There's a whole lot more to our kid conversations, and perhaps we will share those at another time.  Regardless of whether you are a mom or not, let's focus on what is the "right now" in our lives, instead of "what could be" or what someone else has.  You'll find you're a lot more blessed than you think!

Packages from Mom

Kelly: It's no secret of mine that I have a close relationship with my mom. With both of my parents actually. But in the past few years, I feel that I have grown especially closer to my mom. Don't know if that's because I've been out of their house since I was 18; officially since last year. We talk at least once a week, sometimes more. I am not ashamed to say that at my age I still need my mommy and daddy! Like a child getting lost in the mall....like that. It's the same way that I need (and we all need) Christ! To those who out there who are not as close to their parents, I hurt, because I do not know what I would do without my parents. I sincerely hope you can work out your differences, whatever they may be. To those of you who lost your parents due to death, again, I hurt. I know you miss them deeply and would love to see them again; I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

But one of the things that my mom did while we were in college was send us random holiday packages...for each holiday. This tradition of holiday packages started around our sophomore year of college. Valentine's Day, Easter, our birthday, Halloween, but not Christmas since we were usually home then. In these packages there's usually candy, candles, a sock monkey or two (for me!), coupons, and other assorted things. Sometimes there have been socks for that holiday, toys for our kitties, or other assorted Dollar store goodies (the very place we introduced our mom to in the first place), but in each one there was always a card or a note that usually says "yay! Good for you" or "you can do it" or "we're so proud of you!" I'm not a mom yet nor I don't know if I will ever be, but I think those are some of the greatest things a parent can, and should say, to their child or children. And they should say it often. And our parents did and still do.

Holly: When Kelly texted me earlier today with the words "MOMMY PACKAGE!!!!" my day instantly got better.  When I got home and perused through this particular package's contents, I said "If I ever have kids, I am going to send them packages too."  I know my parents love me and are proud of me, but sometimes it's the unexpected surprises that remind you just how much you are loved.  And missed.  I miss my mom and dad.  Yes, at 23, I still miss my mommy and daddy, and I don't see that changing any time soon.  I figured that when I moved out and was on my own, I would miss them less.  Nope.  Don't get me wrong, I love being on my own and being independent, but if my parents showed up at my door tomorrow and said I could move back home, I wouldn't spare a second thought.

I know my parents aren't going to be on this earth forever, and it breaks my heart to imagine my life without them.  So for now, I try to cherish the time I do get to spend with them.  Usually it's just for a few days at a time, several months apart.  I appreciate the time I spend with them now, possibly more than I did before I started college, moved out, etc.  I regret that.  I really do.  My parents have been there for me so many times, have believed in my craziest dreams, and have never been shy of voicing how proud they are of me and Kelly and how much they love us.  It kills me when I hear my friends say that they don't get along with their parents, or they never hear their parents tell them that they are proud of them.  Or my friends who still live with their parents but they just don't talk.  When my parents come to visit, that's basically all we do.  I feel like I could talk to my parents all day!

If any of you are reading this and you don't have a good relationship with your parents, maybe it's time to bridge the gap.  If any of you are reading this and your parents aren't with you anymore, I hope you think of them with a smile on your face, tears (of whatever magnitude, if necessary), and love and warmth in your heart.  If any of you are reading this and you still live with your parents, please hug them a little more.  Tell them you love them.  Tell them you're proud to be their son or daughter.  This world is so ugly, as our roommate Brittany said, and it needs beautiful things.  One of our candles from today's mommy package is burning, and now I'm thinking of home-cooked meals, the smell of the house, laughing together.  That's a beautiful thing.

A Three Dimensional Glimpse of Our Childhood

Holly: Missing the Richmond shuttle was the best thing to have happened to Kelly and I last night. 

My overly gracious and amazingly awesome roommate saved the day by driving us up to the theater to partake in what Kelly and I saw as "reliving our childhood": Yes, folks, we watched The Lion King in 3D!

We aptly called this Friday night adventure "reliving our childhood" because this movie came out originally in 1994...we were FOUR years old!!! Crazy to think back on that! From the first opening sounds of "Circle of Life", I had chills everywhere and, almost instantaneously, I was five years old again.  Watching it again at 21 made it much more surreal; the 3D just completely captured and perfected this Disney classic that I will probably watch again and again, even when I become old and decrepit.  Also interesting and sort of awesome to note: Many of the children that I saw in the theater last night were probably seeing that movie for the very first time! CRAZY!

What really sold me this time was the music!  Never in the umpteen times that I have seen this movie have I ever been so captivated by the music; I was singing along to every song in the theater (nonetheless probably pissing off the people in front of us, but, hey, I paid a small fortune for this ticket and I was going to get my money's worth!).  I was so much so captivated by the music that when I returned home to my shoebox Berea dorm I proceeded to download several Lion King tracks, including a few from the second movie!

Bottom line: If you get the opportunity to see Lion King 3D, SEE IT! Do not miss it!  Period! 

Wait, there's no mountain too great...hear these words and have faith, have faith!

Kelly: (this is straight out of my journal. I wrote this this morning)

He lives in You, He lives in me. He watches over everything we see. Into the water, into the truth, in your reflection, He lives in you. 

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. Galatians 2:20

Growing up, the Lion King saga was by far my favorite Disney movies. I don't know what it was about them but that's just the way it was. I knew all the words to every song and would watch the movies over and over. Rewind to last night; seeing the first one in 3D. It was as if I was watching my childhood all over again right before my eyes. Last night when I was alone in my room listening to music from the movie, I suddenly remembered my favorite song from the second movie, titled He lives in You.

Sure, it makes sense. A young prodigy in the shadows of her king father. Anywhere she looks, her father is inside her. What occurred to me was that, hey...this is what being in a relationship with Christ is like. That's the sheer beauty of it; everywhere I am He is in me. When I look at myself in the mirror every morning, He's also there looking back at me. Maybe there was a reason that as a child I enjoyed that particular song so much. Maybe that was God trying to tell me something. I didn't understand it then, but I do now.

I will cherish last night for the rest of my life; such a captivating experience to relive wonderful happy times of my youth. But let me tell you; the thoughts that I have included in this blog I will cherish as well. I love that God's works and mysteries are in every aspect of my life, including cherished childhood movies.   And now, for your listening pleasure, I have attached our favorite Lion King songs. Enjoy and have a blessed weekend/week to come! :]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjfM6NiMGG4 (He Lives in You, from the second movie!) :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcOJTCSyvx8 (We Are One, from second movie)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOf78z3Hi4U (score from first movie)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5uYB9T_GlY (Our favorite...if you don't get goosebumps at 4 minutes onward then you are crazy!)