Holly: We've listened to a fair share of sermons over the 5+ years we've been at Berea Baptist, but this one sort of hit us upside the head today. Maybe it's what I need. Maybe it's what we all need, but there's one message that I feel so compelled to share, so...yeah. It's going out there, and I apologize if I offend anyone, but in a society that is so bent on dictating what we as humans should act, feel, do, etc, well yeah, I want to say something about that.
The sermon today was about pride. Yep, pride. Something we ALL struggle with, and if you say otherwise, you're full of it. Most of us have a pretty good idea of what pride looks like, but there was another aspect of it that I hadn't thought of before, and that's what I'm going to share today: We live in a society where nothing measures up. Women my age (and younger and younger, sadly) are not pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough, successful enough, you name it. But one of the points in the sermon this morning was that when we "beat ourselves up" for our flaws, we are committing a form of pride. One of the definitions given for pride, in this context anyway, was "an unwillingness to see oneself in correct relation to God." Guys, God loves us so much. He sees us as his precious children, his beloved son and daughter, his treasure, the apple of His eye. He created us to be just that: us. That's why I make it a point to not get so hung up over my flaws...because I feel like in a way I'm (and I hate to use the harsh terms) smacking God in the face. And when I see my peers ashamed, frustrated, disappointed with themselves, it breaks my heart. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. Now I'm not saying I've completely abandoned the self-bashing; trust me, I haven't. I'm working on it too. But instead of wishing for something better, let's try to thank God for what we do have. I got out of bed this morning. I'm breathing freely. I had sushi for lunch. I listened to some beautiful songs from the Doctor Who soundtrack. I was able to clap my hands and sing during church. Turns out we are a lot more blessed than we realize.
Kelly: Having missed church last week, I was really glad to be back. And after a pretty crazy work week, I was very happy to hear this sermon. Not that I'm ever disappointed, but this. This was a take on an age old issue that I had never heard before. But pride; I knew in the back of my head that when it started that this was something I struggled with. Like Holly, the same part that stuck with her stuck with me too. I had never really thought of "beating ourselves up" in that way before...being prideful. The sermon said though that a healthy love for oneself is not sinful, but I think that when it starts getting out of hand is when it becomes so. And I think it doesn't have to be a healthy oneself for it to be prideful, but it can be an unhealthy detest too. But as for me, I have high expectations for myself. Lord knows I goof up and mess up...constantly. I find myself beating myself up when things don't work out or when something happens on my watch at work and on and on and on and on. Before I found my job, I would feel despondent at times and not want to do anything because I was just really down. I felt guilty for feeling the way I did, but I told myself it was normal. I felt guilty at the end of the day and told myself I should have kept looking for jobs. I asked myself why I wasn't getting hired; what was wrong with me?
Turned out God had a bigger plan than what I expected. He has reminded me time after time; that even though I am not perfect I am perfect in His image. This is easier said than done, because I understand that sometimes things or situations or people just really get you down. But I am speaking for experience when I take the focus off myself and turn it around back to God, the day, the moments and the every day wear and grind of whatever goes by so much easier. I pray every time I go into to work. Often I ask God to get me out of the way so that others would see Him instead of me. I was created by God and for God, and His word is the final word. Period. This is a challenge I am going to try for myself; to remember that God is God and I am not. I do not measure up to anyone else, even myself. Especially myself. I hope our other Christ following readers will be challenged and encouraged as well.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Winter feelings
Holly and Kelly: 2 days ago it was in the mid-40s and sunny! Yesterday it got to 49 with some more sun. This morning we woke up to yet another round of snow (albeit not much, but still...AAGGHH). This winter we have had more below-freezing days than we can remember. We've had many mornings where it was below zero (yeah, -5 is not fun). We've gotten REALLY good at driving ourselves out of skids, slides, black ice, crappy roads, etc. We've had many close calls of wiping out on icy sidewalks, parking lots, front steps. We've had near $150 electric bills (now that doesn't seem like much, but when our average bill is $50-60, yeah, that's a sucker punch to the checkbook). Basically if we see any more snow we're going to go nuclear.
IT IS WARMER IN LONDON ENGLAND RIGHT NOW THAN BEREA KENTUCKY. Just let that sink in.
We've had it with this winter crap, so now we're going to poke fun at it. Enjoy these pieces of humor on your Saturday morning, wherever in the world you may be (Fun fact, just checked the 10-day...supposed to be in the 50s by Monday! Holla!!)
:)
IT IS WARMER IN LONDON ENGLAND RIGHT NOW THAN BEREA KENTUCKY. Just let that sink in.
We've had it with this winter crap, so now we're going to poke fun at it. Enjoy these pieces of humor on your Saturday morning, wherever in the world you may be (Fun fact, just checked the 10-day...supposed to be in the 50s by Monday! Holla!!)
:)
 |
| No more! |
Saturday, February 8, 2014
God Moments: Part 2
Kelly: The Faith Conversation
At my job, as I'm sure many will understand, it is very difficult for me to talk about my faith and beliefs in God at work. I knew this upon taking this job, but that doesn't mean that these sorts of conversations have never happened. A few days ago, one of these conversations took place. I had a patient approach me and asked if we could speak; for confidentiality reasons I cannot and will not disclose any information. For reasons that I can only chalk up to God, this patient chose me to speak to. Perhaps it's because they knew I was a Christian, I don't know. But anyway, they looked at me and was concerned about going back to school and about the direction God was taking them. This person then told me they felt abandoned by God and a little bit angry about feeling that way. It had been years since I had had this type of conversation with anyone, and it had been with my best friend at the time. Unfortunately the three of us have since parted ways, but that's a whole other story and God moment. Anyway, but I didn't know what to say; my mind processes were racing. I'm a nurse, I'm supposed to know what to say at the right time. But I was honest. My response was simply...wow. I'm not really sure how I can help but I will do my best. I shared that God has a plan for everyone, and drawing from my own experiences, but sometimes it's ok to feel in the dark about what that plan is. But it's there, and the fact that they were there getting help spoke volume about the fact that they were trying to regain control of their situation. I suggested they ask God for direction and not necessarily the answers right away, but the courage to persevere. We then talked about school for a bit and that was it. I was thanked at the end of the conversation. That was it.
Words are simple, in my opinion. I was never taught in nursing school how to have conversations with people; you can't get a degree for that. You put yourself out there with your words; you may say the "wrong" thing. Or what you say may exactly what someone might need to hear.
Holly: A Brief (hopefully!) Reflection on England
It all started in March of 2011. Kelly, myself and a good friend of mine were browsing a study abroad catalog before convo one afternoon. Brandi passed that catalog to me....and the rest, as they say, is history. Found a program at Kingston University, a "suburb" 20 miles outside of London. And then, 6 grand in debt, a blog, 6 flights, four weeks, many friends and memories (and pubs), and almost three years later, and I have a plethora of lessons, stories, experiences that will last for years to come.
When I first got to Berea I had no intention of studying abroad. It didn't dawn on me until later that Berea is a blessing because they make it so affordable and so easy. And God knew what He was doing that afternoon in March- setting in motion this experience that literally changed my life. He kept me safe while I was there; I never once felt I was in danger. He kept me safe on the way back home, when one of my flights got cancelled and I ended up having to spend the night in the airport. He put roommates and friends in my path, and the relationships we built made me feel as if I had known these complete strangers my whole life. He showed me just how beautiful and big the world is. Seriously, for one of the largest cities in the world, London is stunningly beautiful, with old and new architecture and sites alike. I think I left a piece of my soul there. While I was there I was able to talk to my family, thanks to the uni and a cell phone program the summer school had set up. What a blessing! I watch my British telly shows and I see places I visited or saw, I hear words and phrases I heard, and it automatically takes me back to those days: getting lost in the streets with my friends, soaking up EVERYTHING in my classes, riding the double-decker buses and tube, freezing my butt off in the middle of July, the rain, Big Ben, the Eye, Stonehenge, Bath, Oxford, Westminster Abbey, museums, coffee shops, pigeons, doing British accents on the public transport so we'd try to blend in, thanking God every day and sometimes asking myself "Am I really here? Am I really in England?"...
I will go back someday.
At my job, as I'm sure many will understand, it is very difficult for me to talk about my faith and beliefs in God at work. I knew this upon taking this job, but that doesn't mean that these sorts of conversations have never happened. A few days ago, one of these conversations took place. I had a patient approach me and asked if we could speak; for confidentiality reasons I cannot and will not disclose any information. For reasons that I can only chalk up to God, this patient chose me to speak to. Perhaps it's because they knew I was a Christian, I don't know. But anyway, they looked at me and was concerned about going back to school and about the direction God was taking them. This person then told me they felt abandoned by God and a little bit angry about feeling that way. It had been years since I had had this type of conversation with anyone, and it had been with my best friend at the time. Unfortunately the three of us have since parted ways, but that's a whole other story and God moment. Anyway, but I didn't know what to say; my mind processes were racing. I'm a nurse, I'm supposed to know what to say at the right time. But I was honest. My response was simply...wow. I'm not really sure how I can help but I will do my best. I shared that God has a plan for everyone, and drawing from my own experiences, but sometimes it's ok to feel in the dark about what that plan is. But it's there, and the fact that they were there getting help spoke volume about the fact that they were trying to regain control of their situation. I suggested they ask God for direction and not necessarily the answers right away, but the courage to persevere. We then talked about school for a bit and that was it. I was thanked at the end of the conversation. That was it.
Words are simple, in my opinion. I was never taught in nursing school how to have conversations with people; you can't get a degree for that. You put yourself out there with your words; you may say the "wrong" thing. Or what you say may exactly what someone might need to hear.
Holly: A Brief (hopefully!) Reflection on England
It all started in March of 2011. Kelly, myself and a good friend of mine were browsing a study abroad catalog before convo one afternoon. Brandi passed that catalog to me....and the rest, as they say, is history. Found a program at Kingston University, a "suburb" 20 miles outside of London. And then, 6 grand in debt, a blog, 6 flights, four weeks, many friends and memories (and pubs), and almost three years later, and I have a plethora of lessons, stories, experiences that will last for years to come.
When I first got to Berea I had no intention of studying abroad. It didn't dawn on me until later that Berea is a blessing because they make it so affordable and so easy. And God knew what He was doing that afternoon in March- setting in motion this experience that literally changed my life. He kept me safe while I was there; I never once felt I was in danger. He kept me safe on the way back home, when one of my flights got cancelled and I ended up having to spend the night in the airport. He put roommates and friends in my path, and the relationships we built made me feel as if I had known these complete strangers my whole life. He showed me just how beautiful and big the world is. Seriously, for one of the largest cities in the world, London is stunningly beautiful, with old and new architecture and sites alike. I think I left a piece of my soul there. While I was there I was able to talk to my family, thanks to the uni and a cell phone program the summer school had set up. What a blessing! I watch my British telly shows and I see places I visited or saw, I hear words and phrases I heard, and it automatically takes me back to those days: getting lost in the streets with my friends, soaking up EVERYTHING in my classes, riding the double-decker buses and tube, freezing my butt off in the middle of July, the rain, Big Ben, the Eye, Stonehenge, Bath, Oxford, Westminster Abbey, museums, coffee shops, pigeons, doing British accents on the public transport so we'd try to blend in, thanking God every day and sometimes asking myself "Am I really here? Am I really in England?"...
I will go back someday.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
H and K have church...but not in the way you'd think
Holly: Church was cancelled this morning...well, last night, actually. Anyway, we didn't go to church this morning. Instead, we slept in, had pancakes and coffee, put on some praise and worship music and just talked: about God, about how older Christian music is better, about work, about Doctor Who. And then this came up. The following is an excerpt from my journal writing on Saturday evening, shortly after watching the third season finale of Doctor Who (and random excerpts will continue cropping up):
I can't help but think of this particular exchange: Here's the Master, who's corrupted all of planet Earth, who's forced Martha's family to watch countless people suffer terrible demises, who's tortured the Doctor and transformed him into a pitiable state. But through the redemptive power of the human mind and spirit, and Martha's courage and love for the Doctor, the Doctor is regenerated back to his present form, where he is able to meet the one who understands him probably better than anyone. 2 Time Lords. Given all the Doctor knew the Master had done, he could have banished him to any one fate. Instead, he tells the Master "I only have one thing to say to you. I forgive you." God, Your forgiveness to us, your sin-filled children whom You love dearly, is NO different. Because, let's face it, the Master didn't deserve the Doctor's forgiveness. And we don't deserve Your forgiveness.
Guys, forgiveness and love changes lives. So often we choose to take the easy way out, which is to hold onto with ever-increasing strength whatever grudge we have, whatever bitterness we've been harboring, whatever pride we can't let go of, what have you. But I truly believe that that is not God's will for us. God sent his son into this broken world and broke the chains of all the junk we hold onto. We ought not to live in bondage to our mistakes and our sin; it doesn't have the last word! You do! And you speak love: love that surpasses understanding, breaks barriers, changes hearts and minds, brings people together, drives them apart, and it goes on and on...Forgiveness is scary, sure. The Master cowered in fear from the Doctor as he put his arms around him and said "I forgive you." The night before he died, Jesus pleaded for another way out.
And then there's love. There's a quote somewhere, and I'm butchering it, certainly, but it's something like how Jesus was on the cross in the way he was and that was him saying "I love you." The Bible says we love Him because He first loved us. The sad irony of the end of that Doctor Who episode is that the Master died in the Doctor's arms. There has to be an extraordinary amount of love in there somewhere to literally hold your enemy until his last moments. Pretty powerful. I'm thankful for those who lead by example: in this case, Jesus and the Doctor.
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love." -Romans 12:9-10
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." -1 Peter 4:8
Kelly: While I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with all that has been said above, there is one more element I want to add that I think is equally important; trust. It too can make or change lives for the better or the worst. The quote as old as time goes "it takes years to build up trust and seconds to destroy it." But one thing I definitely admire about Martha as a companion to the Doctor is her unending trust in him. On a whim, she decides to put her trust in this man that she barely knows but something tells her to take a chance. As the series progresses, she gets to know him better. I think of the verse in Isaiah where it says "Here I am, send me!" It's the true heart's desire of a servant of Christ; to lead where He goes without really knowing what the plan is. It's how I felt when I first started following God; I didn't know Him all that well, and I didn't trust Him that much. But as I got to know Him and spend time with Him, that trust has continued to build. (Proverbs 3:5-6). In the 3rd series finale, which was a very powerful episode, there was one part that made me think about my relationship with God. It made me think that perhaps I was meant to find this show. In a scene, Martha is talking to a group of refugees as the world is about to end. She is telling of her experiences with the Doctor. Just read this below and see what I mean:
...But if Martha Jones became a legend, then that's wrong because my name isn't important. There's someone else. The man who sent me out there. The man who told me to walk the Earth. His name is The Doctor. He has saved your lives so many times, and you never knew he was there. He never stops. He never stays. He never asks to be thanked. But I've seen him. I know him. I love him. And I know what he can do.
I mean...WHAT? You read that and you Christians, tell me. Have you EVER felt that way about Jesus? I know I have! That night, before I went to bed, I thanked God and told him that even though I may not see Him with my eyes, I know Him with my heart. He has saved my life so many times, and sometimes I knew it, sometimes I didn't. It may sound silly, but I truly do believe God can speak to us in so many ways, even in Doctor Who. You may not want to trust God sometimes, but something tells you to take a chance, like Martha did with The Doctor. Listen when it does. Your life may never be the same.
I can't help but think of this particular exchange: Here's the Master, who's corrupted all of planet Earth, who's forced Martha's family to watch countless people suffer terrible demises, who's tortured the Doctor and transformed him into a pitiable state. But through the redemptive power of the human mind and spirit, and Martha's courage and love for the Doctor, the Doctor is regenerated back to his present form, where he is able to meet the one who understands him probably better than anyone. 2 Time Lords. Given all the Doctor knew the Master had done, he could have banished him to any one fate. Instead, he tells the Master "I only have one thing to say to you. I forgive you." God, Your forgiveness to us, your sin-filled children whom You love dearly, is NO different. Because, let's face it, the Master didn't deserve the Doctor's forgiveness. And we don't deserve Your forgiveness.
Guys, forgiveness and love changes lives. So often we choose to take the easy way out, which is to hold onto with ever-increasing strength whatever grudge we have, whatever bitterness we've been harboring, whatever pride we can't let go of, what have you. But I truly believe that that is not God's will for us. God sent his son into this broken world and broke the chains of all the junk we hold onto. We ought not to live in bondage to our mistakes and our sin; it doesn't have the last word! You do! And you speak love: love that surpasses understanding, breaks barriers, changes hearts and minds, brings people together, drives them apart, and it goes on and on...Forgiveness is scary, sure. The Master cowered in fear from the Doctor as he put his arms around him and said "I forgive you." The night before he died, Jesus pleaded for another way out.
And then there's love. There's a quote somewhere, and I'm butchering it, certainly, but it's something like how Jesus was on the cross in the way he was and that was him saying "I love you." The Bible says we love Him because He first loved us. The sad irony of the end of that Doctor Who episode is that the Master died in the Doctor's arms. There has to be an extraordinary amount of love in there somewhere to literally hold your enemy until his last moments. Pretty powerful. I'm thankful for those who lead by example: in this case, Jesus and the Doctor.
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love." -Romans 12:9-10
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." -1 Peter 4:8
Kelly: While I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with all that has been said above, there is one more element I want to add that I think is equally important; trust. It too can make or change lives for the better or the worst. The quote as old as time goes "it takes years to build up trust and seconds to destroy it." But one thing I definitely admire about Martha as a companion to the Doctor is her unending trust in him. On a whim, she decides to put her trust in this man that she barely knows but something tells her to take a chance. As the series progresses, she gets to know him better. I think of the verse in Isaiah where it says "Here I am, send me!" It's the true heart's desire of a servant of Christ; to lead where He goes without really knowing what the plan is. It's how I felt when I first started following God; I didn't know Him all that well, and I didn't trust Him that much. But as I got to know Him and spend time with Him, that trust has continued to build. (Proverbs 3:5-6). In the 3rd series finale, which was a very powerful episode, there was one part that made me think about my relationship with God. It made me think that perhaps I was meant to find this show. In a scene, Martha is talking to a group of refugees as the world is about to end. She is telling of her experiences with the Doctor. Just read this below and see what I mean:
...But if Martha Jones became a legend, then that's wrong because my name isn't important. There's someone else. The man who sent me out there. The man who told me to walk the Earth. His name is The Doctor. He has saved your lives so many times, and you never knew he was there. He never stops. He never stays. He never asks to be thanked. But I've seen him. I know him. I love him. And I know what he can do.
I mean...WHAT? You read that and you Christians, tell me. Have you EVER felt that way about Jesus? I know I have! That night, before I went to bed, I thanked God and told him that even though I may not see Him with my eyes, I know Him with my heart. He has saved my life so many times, and sometimes I knew it, sometimes I didn't. It may sound silly, but I truly do believe God can speak to us in so many ways, even in Doctor Who. You may not want to trust God sometimes, but something tells you to take a chance, like Martha did with The Doctor. Listen when it does. Your life may never be the same.
 |
| Take a chance. Your life may never be the same. |
 |
| Love. |
Sunday, January 19, 2014
God Moments: Part 1
Kelly: Today, the sermon at church was titled "God Moments" where any who felt led to had the opportunity to share how God had worked in their lives, whether in big or small ways. While driving home from church today, Holly and I thought it would be a good idea to share some of our God moments. These experiences we are sharing are real; to us they can only be explained by God and God alone. This will be a continuing series in our blog, hence why this is only part 1. The stories we are sharing today are one of many; please enjoy and we hope you are inspired and encouraged.
Stop Looking
The past month or so at work has been rather difficult for me. I've hit quite a few bumps, almost to the point of nearly losing my job. All is resolved and things are totally fine now, but there was a point not too long ago in which I thought I was going to be back at square 1. About a week and a half ago, I found myself sitting on my computer looking for other jobs. I looked at UK and the Central Baptist affiliates but didn't find anything I was interested in doing. After 10 minutes or so of searching, I stopped and turned my computer off. The next day, the search again continued, but nothing was clicking. It just didn't feel right to do what I was doing. Later that night, right before I went to bed, I heard something in the back of my head; a gut feeling that said "stop looking. Just stop." The next day I went into work and everything was fine; this was last Saturday. Last Sunday, there were two questions posed at the end of church. Are you doing what God wants you to do, and are you where God wants you to be? I honestly did not feel like I was; I had it in my head that in light of what had happened to me at work recently that maybe I had missed the mark. I had missed all the signals and it was just me wanting to be where I wanted to be instead of where God wanted me to be. So on the drive up, I just prayed. I prayed and prayed and asked God if where I'm working now is really where He wanted me to be. The first half of the shift went like a typical shift, but it was after my dinner break that things started clicking.
When I got back on the unit after my break, one patient came up to me and asked "where were you?!" She seemed very distressed. I told her where I was and asked if she was ok. She said "I'm fine. I just thought you left." I chuckled and told her I wasn't leaving until 11:30 that night. She then asked me if I was going to be there the next day. I said no and that the next day I would be back was Thursday. She looked sad and said she would miss me and really liked it when I was working and she liked talking to me and said I had a good personality. Later that night another patient had a question about her medications, so I took her back to the med room and we talked one on one and I discussed all she was taking, how much and when. Afterwards she thanked me for taking such good care of her. Near the end of shift change, the radio was playing and I was dancing while charting. A patient had a question and caught me dancing. I apologized and he said that he liked it when I danced and that he appreciated my "spunky" personality and that I had a good disposition for being a nurse. I was floored; I literally could not believe it. I disappeared into the med room before I left and just stood in silence. It was then that I realized that the "stop looking. Just stop" I heard was God telling me that I was right where He wanted me to be. I hadn't missed the mark at all. Folks, if you take anything home from this, just remember that God's voice isn't always audible. He speaks in many different voices!
Holly: I'd like to call this short narrative "The Friday before graduation."
I remember the date exactly: May 4, 2012. Two days before I was expected to graduate from Berea College. Finally, four years of hard work, tears, stress, prayers, etc, was coming to its long and arduous end; I was so close to the finish line I could literally taste it. This day was also the day that temporary senior grades were due. Naturally, I was a little bit anxious; all of my other classes I knew I was going to be ok, but there was one that was weighing heavily on my mind, one that I had struggled all semester with: Genetics. To add insult to injury, this was a core class for the biology major. In other news, I NEEDED this class to graduate. NEEDED. Period. Moreover, this class was only offered in the spring, so that was it. One shot. I had finished my finals and everything else, so I logged onto the online portal to check my grades. Intro to New Testament: B+. Archery and Square Dancing: A-. Herpetology: B. Evolution: B. BME: A. I got all the way to Genetics and was horrified to see a D+. My heart plummeted into my stomach. That was it. I remember, blatantly, the course catalog for the biology major: all courses a C or better to pass. I did the only thing I could think of doing...
Later that day I went to go see my adviser and he asked me how my grades were. I said something to the degree of "Dr Rowley, I have a D+ in Genetics, I don't know what I'm going to do." He asked what I meant. I said that the course catalog said you needed a C or better. By this point I could feel myself getting upset, but I did my best not to show it. Then, with everything I could muster, I managed "Am I going to graduate on Sunday?" Probably one of the scariest moments of my college career. Without hesitating, he said "Let me check." So while he was busy on the computer, I was panicking. My mind was racing; I was going to have to stay two extra semesters just for one class! All I kept saying, thinking, praying, was "I don't know what I'm going to do." Not even a few minutes later I heard, "Holly, stop."
My adviser looked me square in the eye and said, "You're going to be fine. You're going to graduate."
Apparently, I don't know what course catalog I had read, but it was wrong. There wasn't ANYTHING about needing a C or better. Nothing. Yeah, I was definitely crying by that point, but in the best possible way. Two days later I walked across the Seabury stage and got my Bachelor's degree. Afterwards, I hugged my adviser and told him "Thank you. For everything."
God won't bring you so far into something only to have you fall flat on your face. He puts people in your path for a reason. He gives you strength for a reason. So hold on, to your strength and to those who want what's best for you.
Stop Looking
The past month or so at work has been rather difficult for me. I've hit quite a few bumps, almost to the point of nearly losing my job. All is resolved and things are totally fine now, but there was a point not too long ago in which I thought I was going to be back at square 1. About a week and a half ago, I found myself sitting on my computer looking for other jobs. I looked at UK and the Central Baptist affiliates but didn't find anything I was interested in doing. After 10 minutes or so of searching, I stopped and turned my computer off. The next day, the search again continued, but nothing was clicking. It just didn't feel right to do what I was doing. Later that night, right before I went to bed, I heard something in the back of my head; a gut feeling that said "stop looking. Just stop." The next day I went into work and everything was fine; this was last Saturday. Last Sunday, there were two questions posed at the end of church. Are you doing what God wants you to do, and are you where God wants you to be? I honestly did not feel like I was; I had it in my head that in light of what had happened to me at work recently that maybe I had missed the mark. I had missed all the signals and it was just me wanting to be where I wanted to be instead of where God wanted me to be. So on the drive up, I just prayed. I prayed and prayed and asked God if where I'm working now is really where He wanted me to be. The first half of the shift went like a typical shift, but it was after my dinner break that things started clicking.
When I got back on the unit after my break, one patient came up to me and asked "where were you?!" She seemed very distressed. I told her where I was and asked if she was ok. She said "I'm fine. I just thought you left." I chuckled and told her I wasn't leaving until 11:30 that night. She then asked me if I was going to be there the next day. I said no and that the next day I would be back was Thursday. She looked sad and said she would miss me and really liked it when I was working and she liked talking to me and said I had a good personality. Later that night another patient had a question about her medications, so I took her back to the med room and we talked one on one and I discussed all she was taking, how much and when. Afterwards she thanked me for taking such good care of her. Near the end of shift change, the radio was playing and I was dancing while charting. A patient had a question and caught me dancing. I apologized and he said that he liked it when I danced and that he appreciated my "spunky" personality and that I had a good disposition for being a nurse. I was floored; I literally could not believe it. I disappeared into the med room before I left and just stood in silence. It was then that I realized that the "stop looking. Just stop" I heard was God telling me that I was right where He wanted me to be. I hadn't missed the mark at all. Folks, if you take anything home from this, just remember that God's voice isn't always audible. He speaks in many different voices!
Holly: I'd like to call this short narrative "The Friday before graduation."
I remember the date exactly: May 4, 2012. Two days before I was expected to graduate from Berea College. Finally, four years of hard work, tears, stress, prayers, etc, was coming to its long and arduous end; I was so close to the finish line I could literally taste it. This day was also the day that temporary senior grades were due. Naturally, I was a little bit anxious; all of my other classes I knew I was going to be ok, but there was one that was weighing heavily on my mind, one that I had struggled all semester with: Genetics. To add insult to injury, this was a core class for the biology major. In other news, I NEEDED this class to graduate. NEEDED. Period. Moreover, this class was only offered in the spring, so that was it. One shot. I had finished my finals and everything else, so I logged onto the online portal to check my grades. Intro to New Testament: B+. Archery and Square Dancing: A-. Herpetology: B. Evolution: B. BME: A. I got all the way to Genetics and was horrified to see a D+. My heart plummeted into my stomach. That was it. I remember, blatantly, the course catalog for the biology major: all courses a C or better to pass. I did the only thing I could think of doing...
Later that day I went to go see my adviser and he asked me how my grades were. I said something to the degree of "Dr Rowley, I have a D+ in Genetics, I don't know what I'm going to do." He asked what I meant. I said that the course catalog said you needed a C or better. By this point I could feel myself getting upset, but I did my best not to show it. Then, with everything I could muster, I managed "Am I going to graduate on Sunday?" Probably one of the scariest moments of my college career. Without hesitating, he said "Let me check." So while he was busy on the computer, I was panicking. My mind was racing; I was going to have to stay two extra semesters just for one class! All I kept saying, thinking, praying, was "I don't know what I'm going to do." Not even a few minutes later I heard, "Holly, stop."
My adviser looked me square in the eye and said, "You're going to be fine. You're going to graduate."
Apparently, I don't know what course catalog I had read, but it was wrong. There wasn't ANYTHING about needing a C or better. Nothing. Yeah, I was definitely crying by that point, but in the best possible way. Two days later I walked across the Seabury stage and got my Bachelor's degree. Afterwards, I hugged my adviser and told him "Thank you. For everything."
God won't bring you so far into something only to have you fall flat on your face. He puts people in your path for a reason. He gives you strength for a reason. So hold on, to your strength and to those who want what's best for you.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Certain of certainty
Holly: Well met, readers! We are 11 days into 2014. I hope that you are all well, happy, enjoying your people, getting settled back into your routines, enjoying whatever new blessings have already come your way, etc. Already I have found myself meditating on something I have, yes, learned in just a few short days of this year:
Nothing is certain.
No, really. It isn't. I have been mulling over so many possibilities in my head since the start of this year, and although I'm still not sure what to do, perhaps, sometime, I'll end up taking a risk. For those of you wondering, no, I'm not quitting my job, so that's that. But anyway, with things like this, you have to stay open-minded. For example, I never imagined staying in Berea. I had ambitions of moving to the Carolinas and working in a vet clinic down there. Halfway through college, I realized vet school wasn't going to work out, and Berea was growing on me more and more. Fast forward a couple of years: now I'm not in vet school, I'm living in Berea, quite happily, with no intention of leaving anytime soon, and I'm working as a lab coordinator for biology and I couldn't be happier. I was so...certain...that I had everything figured out. And now I am where I am, and next year, I could be somewhere different. Who knows? The only one that knows, and the only one that is certain, is God. I'm going to continue praying, and trusting Him. Stay tuned. :)
Kelly: Things too have changed in a very short amount of time that this new year has started. I'm still trying to decide whether or not this is really God or if it's just me wanting or not wanting the circumstances to happen. I've hit a few bumps in the road at work, almost resulting in some pretty drastic changes. All is well now, and I'm doing my best to ensure it stays that way. Again, it reminded me that sometimes even though God gives us what we need, it's not always in the way we think it is. That was a hard pill to swallow, and it's one that I'm still learning how to deal with that one. But that's why God puts awesome people in your life; they're there for a reason.
Now onto that note. God does put people in your life for a reason, whatever those reasons may be.Just recently, I've delved into the possibility of starting a relationship. Yes, an actual one. Nothing has progressed yet; it's kind of a long story but we're both ok with the fact that things are the way they are now for a reason (being 1000+ miles away from each other also puts a damper on plans as well). But in about 2 years time things may change and we may move forward. But for now, we're ok with being good friends and perhaps a little bit more (nothing like THAT, ok?) I still miss him, a hecka lot, but in the meantime I'm doing the best I can. I think we both realized that something was potentially there, but again, like this post, I can't be certain of it. That's just the way it is sometimes. I think the mentality I'm going to try and have as this year continues is the fact that I don't know what will happen. I have to be open to whatever God may throw my way, and I have to be ready for it. I have to trust Him; it's the only other option I have. Last year I was between a rock and hard place, and I was certain that my own strength and willpower would get me through. How much do you want to bet how long that lasted? Keep moving forward, that's what I'm saying. So it goes.
Nothing is certain.
No, really. It isn't. I have been mulling over so many possibilities in my head since the start of this year, and although I'm still not sure what to do, perhaps, sometime, I'll end up taking a risk. For those of you wondering, no, I'm not quitting my job, so that's that. But anyway, with things like this, you have to stay open-minded. For example, I never imagined staying in Berea. I had ambitions of moving to the Carolinas and working in a vet clinic down there. Halfway through college, I realized vet school wasn't going to work out, and Berea was growing on me more and more. Fast forward a couple of years: now I'm not in vet school, I'm living in Berea, quite happily, with no intention of leaving anytime soon, and I'm working as a lab coordinator for biology and I couldn't be happier. I was so...certain...that I had everything figured out. And now I am where I am, and next year, I could be somewhere different. Who knows? The only one that knows, and the only one that is certain, is God. I'm going to continue praying, and trusting Him. Stay tuned. :)
Kelly: Things too have changed in a very short amount of time that this new year has started. I'm still trying to decide whether or not this is really God or if it's just me wanting or not wanting the circumstances to happen. I've hit a few bumps in the road at work, almost resulting in some pretty drastic changes. All is well now, and I'm doing my best to ensure it stays that way. Again, it reminded me that sometimes even though God gives us what we need, it's not always in the way we think it is. That was a hard pill to swallow, and it's one that I'm still learning how to deal with that one. But that's why God puts awesome people in your life; they're there for a reason.
Now onto that note. God does put people in your life for a reason, whatever those reasons may be.Just recently, I've delved into the possibility of starting a relationship. Yes, an actual one. Nothing has progressed yet; it's kind of a long story but we're both ok with the fact that things are the way they are now for a reason (being 1000+ miles away from each other also puts a damper on plans as well). But in about 2 years time things may change and we may move forward. But for now, we're ok with being good friends and perhaps a little bit more (nothing like THAT, ok?) I still miss him, a hecka lot, but in the meantime I'm doing the best I can. I think we both realized that something was potentially there, but again, like this post, I can't be certain of it. That's just the way it is sometimes. I think the mentality I'm going to try and have as this year continues is the fact that I don't know what will happen. I have to be open to whatever God may throw my way, and I have to be ready for it. I have to trust Him; it's the only other option I have. Last year I was between a rock and hard place, and I was certain that my own strength and willpower would get me through. How much do you want to bet how long that lasted? Keep moving forward, that's what I'm saying. So it goes.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
2013: A reflection on lessons learned and some goals for 2014.
Holly and Kelly: This will most likely be our last post of the year 2013, and my how fast it has gone! We would like to take this opportunity to reflect on what we have learned in this past year and how we have grown as humans, sisters, and Christians.
Question God: Really. In a culture that is so bent upon NOT doing such, one thing we have learned is that it is ok to have a healthy questioning of God. We remember talking to each other and asking God "is this really what you want from us?" "Do you really have our best interests at heart?" "How much longer?" Trust me; He can handle it.
Don't be afraid to say no: No is no is no is no. It is a complete sentence, thus should not require explanation. Nobody's going to hate you. Seriously.
Nothing is permanent: This is both a good thing and a bad thing.
Be open-minded to new possibilities and/or challenges: If this were not so, we would have never gotten into Doctor Who. Give things a chance; you never know what you might find. Sometimes things get rough along the way. You can either let them knock you down or you can learn from them. As a result of this, we learned how to forgive loved ones (see below) and be our own people.
The people who are with you through it all are the ones to hold onto: You may think you have known someone your whole life, but when you need them the most they are nowhere to be found. Unfortunately, we learned this truth the hard way. But we're better because of it. We've gained and lost friends along the way, but there have been those few who have been there with us for a long time. Granted we don't get to see them that often, but they have still been there. We are thankful for those people; you know who you are.
Good things come to those who do wait: And they happen in His time, not ours. Right after Kelly graduated, we found ourselves unsure of what road was next. It was a very trying and unsettling time for us, but now things are good. Really good. That doesn't mean though we still need God, because we do.
Get angry: You would be amazed how easy it is to bottle those emotions up. Sometimes a healthy session of venting is ok. Cry out; to God, a friend, someone you trust. We too, like most of these lessons, learned this the hard way. Often times we would both be so angry or frustrated with the circumstances and just blow up at each other for no reason. The moment we stopped running (or trying to run) from what we were angry and frustrated with, the easier it was to deal with it. It wasn't easy at first, but over time it did get easier. It just takes time.
Remember to have fun: Call your friends and plan random get-togethers, just for the sake of doing in. When we first got our new jobs, we would just work and work and work and work, but didn't leave a lot of room for play time. Now random get togethers, even if it's just the two of us, happen at least once a month. Don't misunderstand us; we love our jobs, but sometimes it's nice to just take a break and have fun!
Sometimes letting go is the only way to move forward: Actually, this is a direct quote from an episode of "Smallville". But in all seriousness, we learned this the hard way: earlier in the year we had a falling out from a friend that we were friends with for a long time. Normally we would have run back and tried to fix everything, but this time, we decided enough was enough. And that's that. I think we held on for so long, even though we knew things had gone wrong a while back, because we thought we could fix things. But sometimes people don't want to be fixed, and you have to accept that and move on. So we did. Of course we still think about her and, as always, we wish the best for her.
The ones we lose never really leave us. On our 23rd birthday, we learned that our grandpa had passed away. We did somewhat see it coming, but it nevertheless still saddened us. Still, to this day, we see things, hear things, say things, that remind us of him. He is with us, always, and he is with Jesus and his family, and we can't be sad about that.
Forgiveness doesn't happen overnight. We've had some pretty rough family issues this year, and it's safe to say that things will never be the same. Things have gotten better, yes, but we are still working on the forgiving aspect. We always will, I suppose. Forgiveness takes time.
You have to make time for the things that are important to you. Pretty self-explanatory. But even if it's just for five minutes, take time for yourself. In a culture that is so fast-paced, we ought to.
Goals for the next year:
Give back to God. This is something that Holly has felt on her heart for a while now, and eventually you have to put it into action. We'll see what happens, but God blesses those who give all to Him, including their finances.
Read. We've both enjoyed reading for FUN this year. Yes, an actual book. We anticipate to do more reading in the new year.
Reach out. It's amazing how quickly the time passes and it turns into months and months without hearing from friends and family. Even though it's a lame excuse, we really do get caught up in our busyness. We're hoping that our reaching out will inspire others to reach out to their own loved ones as well.
Jump in. Ever see someone do something/say something but they just keep waiting and waiting? Ever asked yourself "what am I waiting for?" Well....just do it! Don't wait; the opportunity may not come again.
Remember that we're not alone. And neither are you. God is with us, and you, and so are so many others out there. Call upon Him, your family or your friends if you're hurting or struggling. We are going to do our best to do the same.
It's been an up and down year, 2013 has. Let's all do our best in making 2014 a little bit better!
Question God: Really. In a culture that is so bent upon NOT doing such, one thing we have learned is that it is ok to have a healthy questioning of God. We remember talking to each other and asking God "is this really what you want from us?" "Do you really have our best interests at heart?" "How much longer?" Trust me; He can handle it.
Don't be afraid to say no: No is no is no is no. It is a complete sentence, thus should not require explanation. Nobody's going to hate you. Seriously.
Nothing is permanent: This is both a good thing and a bad thing.
Be open-minded to new possibilities and/or challenges: If this were not so, we would have never gotten into Doctor Who. Give things a chance; you never know what you might find. Sometimes things get rough along the way. You can either let them knock you down or you can learn from them. As a result of this, we learned how to forgive loved ones (see below) and be our own people.
The people who are with you through it all are the ones to hold onto: You may think you have known someone your whole life, but when you need them the most they are nowhere to be found. Unfortunately, we learned this truth the hard way. But we're better because of it. We've gained and lost friends along the way, but there have been those few who have been there with us for a long time. Granted we don't get to see them that often, but they have still been there. We are thankful for those people; you know who you are.
Good things come to those who do wait: And they happen in His time, not ours. Right after Kelly graduated, we found ourselves unsure of what road was next. It was a very trying and unsettling time for us, but now things are good. Really good. That doesn't mean though we still need God, because we do.
Get angry: You would be amazed how easy it is to bottle those emotions up. Sometimes a healthy session of venting is ok. Cry out; to God, a friend, someone you trust. We too, like most of these lessons, learned this the hard way. Often times we would both be so angry or frustrated with the circumstances and just blow up at each other for no reason. The moment we stopped running (or trying to run) from what we were angry and frustrated with, the easier it was to deal with it. It wasn't easy at first, but over time it did get easier. It just takes time.
Remember to have fun: Call your friends and plan random get-togethers, just for the sake of doing in. When we first got our new jobs, we would just work and work and work and work, but didn't leave a lot of room for play time. Now random get togethers, even if it's just the two of us, happen at least once a month. Don't misunderstand us; we love our jobs, but sometimes it's nice to just take a break and have fun!
Sometimes letting go is the only way to move forward: Actually, this is a direct quote from an episode of "Smallville". But in all seriousness, we learned this the hard way: earlier in the year we had a falling out from a friend that we were friends with for a long time. Normally we would have run back and tried to fix everything, but this time, we decided enough was enough. And that's that. I think we held on for so long, even though we knew things had gone wrong a while back, because we thought we could fix things. But sometimes people don't want to be fixed, and you have to accept that and move on. So we did. Of course we still think about her and, as always, we wish the best for her.
The ones we lose never really leave us. On our 23rd birthday, we learned that our grandpa had passed away. We did somewhat see it coming, but it nevertheless still saddened us. Still, to this day, we see things, hear things, say things, that remind us of him. He is with us, always, and he is with Jesus and his family, and we can't be sad about that.
Forgiveness doesn't happen overnight. We've had some pretty rough family issues this year, and it's safe to say that things will never be the same. Things have gotten better, yes, but we are still working on the forgiving aspect. We always will, I suppose. Forgiveness takes time.
You have to make time for the things that are important to you. Pretty self-explanatory. But even if it's just for five minutes, take time for yourself. In a culture that is so fast-paced, we ought to.
Goals for the next year:
Give back to God. This is something that Holly has felt on her heart for a while now, and eventually you have to put it into action. We'll see what happens, but God blesses those who give all to Him, including their finances.
Read. We've both enjoyed reading for FUN this year. Yes, an actual book. We anticipate to do more reading in the new year.
Reach out. It's amazing how quickly the time passes and it turns into months and months without hearing from friends and family. Even though it's a lame excuse, we really do get caught up in our busyness. We're hoping that our reaching out will inspire others to reach out to their own loved ones as well.
Jump in. Ever see someone do something/say something but they just keep waiting and waiting? Ever asked yourself "what am I waiting for?" Well....just do it! Don't wait; the opportunity may not come again.
Remember that we're not alone. And neither are you. God is with us, and you, and so are so many others out there. Call upon Him, your family or your friends if you're hurting or struggling. We are going to do our best to do the same.
It's been an up and down year, 2013 has. Let's all do our best in making 2014 a little bit better!
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