Disclaimer: There is a lot of talk about God in this post. We believe we can ONLY give the credit to Him! Once you read this, you will see why. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to speak to us privately about them. Otherwise, enjoy the story, and if you feel inspired, praise with us! :)
H: Wednesday we found out that moving into the house was no longer an option, without any real concrete explanation. Disappointed and frustrated didn't even begin to scratch the surface as to how we felt. I wrote in my journal for a long time, pouring out my frustrations and anger to God. Yes, I was angry. I don't like being angry, and I even apologized. There was no holding anything back. At one point I wrote, "I've learned in the journey of becoming a follower of Jesus is that we still have an obligation to show Your love, even if we don't feel like it." Quite frankly, I didn't feel like it. We had spent the last two months praying, putting our faith in people following through, only to be left empty-handed and disappointed. I went to bed unhappy that night, utterly defeated and spent. I'm surprised I got any sleep at all.
Kelly was due to come home from Ohio Thursday, so I shared with our house church members that we would not be there, so we could spend the evening catching up, relaxing, and discussing our next steps. But what I didn't mention was that Thursday morning, I heard that still small voice, something, in my gut say, "You shouldn't go to church tonight." I couldn't explain it. (That was the first God moment, although I didn't know it at the time)
We went out for Chinese and we'd barely been home five minutes when Kelly got a Facebook message from a co-worker of hers, saying she had spoken to somebody about a duplex available in Richmond (God moment #2). On the phone, she said that a couple was going to look at it the next day, and asked if we could look at it that evening. We dropped everything and drove up there. Yes, it was that split-second of a decision! We had no trouble finding the apartment and were immediately taken to the location and the quietness of the neighborhood, despite it being right off the interstate. Kelly's co-worker arrived a few minutes later and we asked how she knew the landlord. This was her response (another God moment):
"Oh, I just talked to her on the phone just now. I've never met her before. I was just driving through here and I saw the sign out front, and I thought 'This is for Kelly. I want her to be in a safe neighborhood.'"
We were like ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME.
Jennifer, the landlord, arrived a few minutes later. In addition to her infectious personality, she mentioned that a police officer lives down the street and that her niece works at the preschool nearby (Remember the talk about a safe neighborhood?) We helped ourselves to looking around, and, admittedly, it is a downgrade in terms of size and space, but we've learned over the last year that we've had too much space. The rent is more than $100 LESS than what we're paying now, and the place was near immaculate, there was new carpet, a small patio outside, plenty of parking, a washer and dryer hooked up (!!!), and, most importantly, Yoda and Wiley are welcome! :) Needless to say, it was not a difficult decision. By the end of the night, a key was given to us and we had signed the lease!
The drive home was a combination of a daze and utter exuberance. God had shown up! Big time. If we had gone to church, we would have missed the Facebook message and, ultimately, the phone call, the apartment would have been shown tonight and probably taken, and we would still be stuck waiting until the end of next month. But now, there is no more waiting, and we have a cute new duplex in Richmond waiting for us. All thanks to God!
K: While reading this, I thought of Holly. Gave up a UK, full-time benefited job for what she does now for the sake of being happier and less stressed out. I also think about getting my first job; that moment and time when I was just ready to give up was when I got the magic phone call. That's what happened here last night; God gave us what we needed, not what we wanted. I remember so many times praying "God just get us this house. Just get us this house." I'm not going to say it was as if my prayers were falling on deaf ears, because I don't believe that. Rather I just felt that this house we were seeking so hard for was just not going to happen. I always had this small notion in the back of my head that it was just going to not work out. Perhaps that was God's way of saying that He had something better for us. Because let's face it, the last thing we actually needed was MORE space and more money to be given for rent.
I truly believe that God talks and shows us what we need in a lot of mysterious yet awesome ways. I remember walking into that duplex and was like "this is it." That "aha!" moment. I don't believe in coincidence. I think coincidence is just one of the many ways God speaks to us. Though I can't hold claim to actually hearing His voice, I can hold to the fact that His fingerprints were ALL OVER THIS. There's really nothing more I need to add to this. It's all been said. We are excited to begin this new adventure and see where else He will take us. My ending is this; if you're waiting for something and feel like throwing in the towel, that's usually when a corner will turn. Sometimes it's not a good corner, but in our experience it usually is. Keep the faith, and remember that God is good.
Showing posts with label God's timing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God's timing. Show all posts
Friday, July 24, 2015
Monday, December 22, 2014
Food, Cheer and Song
Kelly: So before I went to bed last night, I wrote a thing. It's kind of a long thing. Bear with me, for sometimes when God speaks, He speaks volume!
If more of us valued food, cheer and song over hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
Thorin Oakenshield utters those words to Bilbo as he takes his final breath. Prior to these words being spoken, a great battle took place in Middle Earth. But in this battle, no winner was declared. There were no victories to be celebrated. And this battle was over what? A pile of coins and perhaps a teeny bit of redemption. How often do we do this in our own life? Fight over and sometimes for things that in the end leave us with nothing? I know I have many times before, and like Thorin, I'm questioning my choices to God, because others like Bilbo along the way have showed me how much greatness God has given me. God promises us food that will never leave us hungry! In His word, constantly, all the time. His word is always there and we can go to it anytime and our hunger won't return void. It's never ending food, full of promises from THE ultimate Provider.
Philippians 4:4 says to rejoice in the Lord always. God has given you and me plenty, and over and over He has proved to me just how worthy He is. Like Gandalf says to Bilbo near the end of their journey "for you are one small hobbit in a wide world." Bilbo's response is "thank goodness!" That's exactly how I feel. I am so humbled by His grace and grateful that He is God and I am not. Thank goodness that God knows exactly what He is doing, because if it were just me on my own, I don't even know. There is absolutely no way all that has occurred in my life is mere random chance. Absolutely no way. It's God and God alone, because to me nothing else makes sense. So I have no choice but to thank Him for all He has done for me and will continue to do for me, because I sure as heck don't deserve it.
Psalm 100 says to shout for joy to the LORD all the Earth, and to worship the Lord with gladness. We are to enter his praises with thanksgiving. I've had people say to me they know I am a Christian and admire me for the way I handle certain situations. And I say it's not me; it's God in me. The way I see it is this; I can hold onto all my junk that comes my way, be angry, swing at anything that moves and hoard all my anger, frustration, bitterness, whatever, just like Thorin did with his gold. He refused to part with it, even though he promised to share in the wealth. And look what happened! He went nuts! He doubted himself, his mind, and even his own family. He reached a point where nothing or no one could be trusted, even himself. It's not easy sometimes, but instead I resound to do my best to lay it all down to God's feet and let Him deal with it. Because we can't carry all our junk to Heaven anyway, so why not do our best to just let it go? Trust me, I'm writing this for myself as much as I am to anyone who reads this. We are called to store our treasures in jars of clay so they don't collect dust or moth balls, and that we don't end up like Thorin. What treasures do you have in jars of clay? What do I have? What would you like to have stored that would please God?
These words are what Tolkien's work has done to me. Exploring hidden theology in a movie or book by digging deeper into Scripture and examining my own walk with God. I think that God wires us to like what we like. Seriously. And there are foundational reasons for our likes, but I think in everything there's perhaps something a bit deeper as well. And I think it's true when they say God is in all things; all we have to do is let Him in to all of our things. Even our love for Bilbo's adventures.
If more of us valued food, cheer and song over hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
Thorin Oakenshield utters those words to Bilbo as he takes his final breath. Prior to these words being spoken, a great battle took place in Middle Earth. But in this battle, no winner was declared. There were no victories to be celebrated. And this battle was over what? A pile of coins and perhaps a teeny bit of redemption. How often do we do this in our own life? Fight over and sometimes for things that in the end leave us with nothing? I know I have many times before, and like Thorin, I'm questioning my choices to God, because others like Bilbo along the way have showed me how much greatness God has given me. God promises us food that will never leave us hungry! In His word, constantly, all the time. His word is always there and we can go to it anytime and our hunger won't return void. It's never ending food, full of promises from THE ultimate Provider.
Philippians 4:4 says to rejoice in the Lord always. God has given you and me plenty, and over and over He has proved to me just how worthy He is. Like Gandalf says to Bilbo near the end of their journey "for you are one small hobbit in a wide world." Bilbo's response is "thank goodness!" That's exactly how I feel. I am so humbled by His grace and grateful that He is God and I am not. Thank goodness that God knows exactly what He is doing, because if it were just me on my own, I don't even know. There is absolutely no way all that has occurred in my life is mere random chance. Absolutely no way. It's God and God alone, because to me nothing else makes sense. So I have no choice but to thank Him for all He has done for me and will continue to do for me, because I sure as heck don't deserve it.
Psalm 100 says to shout for joy to the LORD all the Earth, and to worship the Lord with gladness. We are to enter his praises with thanksgiving. I've had people say to me they know I am a Christian and admire me for the way I handle certain situations. And I say it's not me; it's God in me. The way I see it is this; I can hold onto all my junk that comes my way, be angry, swing at anything that moves and hoard all my anger, frustration, bitterness, whatever, just like Thorin did with his gold. He refused to part with it, even though he promised to share in the wealth. And look what happened! He went nuts! He doubted himself, his mind, and even his own family. He reached a point where nothing or no one could be trusted, even himself. It's not easy sometimes, but instead I resound to do my best to lay it all down to God's feet and let Him deal with it. Because we can't carry all our junk to Heaven anyway, so why not do our best to just let it go? Trust me, I'm writing this for myself as much as I am to anyone who reads this. We are called to store our treasures in jars of clay so they don't collect dust or moth balls, and that we don't end up like Thorin. What treasures do you have in jars of clay? What do I have? What would you like to have stored that would please God?
These words are what Tolkien's work has done to me. Exploring hidden theology in a movie or book by digging deeper into Scripture and examining my own walk with God. I think that God wires us to like what we like. Seriously. And there are foundational reasons for our likes, but I think in everything there's perhaps something a bit deeper as well. And I think it's true when they say God is in all things; all we have to do is let Him in to all of our things. Even our love for Bilbo's adventures.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
God Moments: Part 1
Kelly: Today, the sermon at church was titled "God Moments" where any who felt led to had the opportunity to share how God had worked in their lives, whether in big or small ways. While driving home from church today, Holly and I thought it would be a good idea to share some of our God moments. These experiences we are sharing are real; to us they can only be explained by God and God alone. This will be a continuing series in our blog, hence why this is only part 1. The stories we are sharing today are one of many; please enjoy and we hope you are inspired and encouraged.
Stop Looking
The past month or so at work has been rather difficult for me. I've hit quite a few bumps, almost to the point of nearly losing my job. All is resolved and things are totally fine now, but there was a point not too long ago in which I thought I was going to be back at square 1. About a week and a half ago, I found myself sitting on my computer looking for other jobs. I looked at UK and the Central Baptist affiliates but didn't find anything I was interested in doing. After 10 minutes or so of searching, I stopped and turned my computer off. The next day, the search again continued, but nothing was clicking. It just didn't feel right to do what I was doing. Later that night, right before I went to bed, I heard something in the back of my head; a gut feeling that said "stop looking. Just stop." The next day I went into work and everything was fine; this was last Saturday. Last Sunday, there were two questions posed at the end of church. Are you doing what God wants you to do, and are you where God wants you to be? I honestly did not feel like I was; I had it in my head that in light of what had happened to me at work recently that maybe I had missed the mark. I had missed all the signals and it was just me wanting to be where I wanted to be instead of where God wanted me to be. So on the drive up, I just prayed. I prayed and prayed and asked God if where I'm working now is really where He wanted me to be. The first half of the shift went like a typical shift, but it was after my dinner break that things started clicking.
When I got back on the unit after my break, one patient came up to me and asked "where were you?!" She seemed very distressed. I told her where I was and asked if she was ok. She said "I'm fine. I just thought you left." I chuckled and told her I wasn't leaving until 11:30 that night. She then asked me if I was going to be there the next day. I said no and that the next day I would be back was Thursday. She looked sad and said she would miss me and really liked it when I was working and she liked talking to me and said I had a good personality. Later that night another patient had a question about her medications, so I took her back to the med room and we talked one on one and I discussed all she was taking, how much and when. Afterwards she thanked me for taking such good care of her. Near the end of shift change, the radio was playing and I was dancing while charting. A patient had a question and caught me dancing. I apologized and he said that he liked it when I danced and that he appreciated my "spunky" personality and that I had a good disposition for being a nurse. I was floored; I literally could not believe it. I disappeared into the med room before I left and just stood in silence. It was then that I realized that the "stop looking. Just stop" I heard was God telling me that I was right where He wanted me to be. I hadn't missed the mark at all. Folks, if you take anything home from this, just remember that God's voice isn't always audible. He speaks in many different voices!
Holly: I'd like to call this short narrative "The Friday before graduation."
I remember the date exactly: May 4, 2012. Two days before I was expected to graduate from Berea College. Finally, four years of hard work, tears, stress, prayers, etc, was coming to its long and arduous end; I was so close to the finish line I could literally taste it. This day was also the day that temporary senior grades were due. Naturally, I was a little bit anxious; all of my other classes I knew I was going to be ok, but there was one that was weighing heavily on my mind, one that I had struggled all semester with: Genetics. To add insult to injury, this was a core class for the biology major. In other news, I NEEDED this class to graduate. NEEDED. Period. Moreover, this class was only offered in the spring, so that was it. One shot. I had finished my finals and everything else, so I logged onto the online portal to check my grades. Intro to New Testament: B+. Archery and Square Dancing: A-. Herpetology: B. Evolution: B. BME: A. I got all the way to Genetics and was horrified to see a D+. My heart plummeted into my stomach. That was it. I remember, blatantly, the course catalog for the biology major: all courses a C or better to pass. I did the only thing I could think of doing...
Later that day I went to go see my adviser and he asked me how my grades were. I said something to the degree of "Dr Rowley, I have a D+ in Genetics, I don't know what I'm going to do." He asked what I meant. I said that the course catalog said you needed a C or better. By this point I could feel myself getting upset, but I did my best not to show it. Then, with everything I could muster, I managed "Am I going to graduate on Sunday?" Probably one of the scariest moments of my college career. Without hesitating, he said "Let me check." So while he was busy on the computer, I was panicking. My mind was racing; I was going to have to stay two extra semesters just for one class! All I kept saying, thinking, praying, was "I don't know what I'm going to do." Not even a few minutes later I heard, "Holly, stop."
My adviser looked me square in the eye and said, "You're going to be fine. You're going to graduate."
Apparently, I don't know what course catalog I had read, but it was wrong. There wasn't ANYTHING about needing a C or better. Nothing. Yeah, I was definitely crying by that point, but in the best possible way. Two days later I walked across the Seabury stage and got my Bachelor's degree. Afterwards, I hugged my adviser and told him "Thank you. For everything."
God won't bring you so far into something only to have you fall flat on your face. He puts people in your path for a reason. He gives you strength for a reason. So hold on, to your strength and to those who want what's best for you.
Stop Looking
The past month or so at work has been rather difficult for me. I've hit quite a few bumps, almost to the point of nearly losing my job. All is resolved and things are totally fine now, but there was a point not too long ago in which I thought I was going to be back at square 1. About a week and a half ago, I found myself sitting on my computer looking for other jobs. I looked at UK and the Central Baptist affiliates but didn't find anything I was interested in doing. After 10 minutes or so of searching, I stopped and turned my computer off. The next day, the search again continued, but nothing was clicking. It just didn't feel right to do what I was doing. Later that night, right before I went to bed, I heard something in the back of my head; a gut feeling that said "stop looking. Just stop." The next day I went into work and everything was fine; this was last Saturday. Last Sunday, there were two questions posed at the end of church. Are you doing what God wants you to do, and are you where God wants you to be? I honestly did not feel like I was; I had it in my head that in light of what had happened to me at work recently that maybe I had missed the mark. I had missed all the signals and it was just me wanting to be where I wanted to be instead of where God wanted me to be. So on the drive up, I just prayed. I prayed and prayed and asked God if where I'm working now is really where He wanted me to be. The first half of the shift went like a typical shift, but it was after my dinner break that things started clicking.
When I got back on the unit after my break, one patient came up to me and asked "where were you?!" She seemed very distressed. I told her where I was and asked if she was ok. She said "I'm fine. I just thought you left." I chuckled and told her I wasn't leaving until 11:30 that night. She then asked me if I was going to be there the next day. I said no and that the next day I would be back was Thursday. She looked sad and said she would miss me and really liked it when I was working and she liked talking to me and said I had a good personality. Later that night another patient had a question about her medications, so I took her back to the med room and we talked one on one and I discussed all she was taking, how much and when. Afterwards she thanked me for taking such good care of her. Near the end of shift change, the radio was playing and I was dancing while charting. A patient had a question and caught me dancing. I apologized and he said that he liked it when I danced and that he appreciated my "spunky" personality and that I had a good disposition for being a nurse. I was floored; I literally could not believe it. I disappeared into the med room before I left and just stood in silence. It was then that I realized that the "stop looking. Just stop" I heard was God telling me that I was right where He wanted me to be. I hadn't missed the mark at all. Folks, if you take anything home from this, just remember that God's voice isn't always audible. He speaks in many different voices!
Holly: I'd like to call this short narrative "The Friday before graduation."
I remember the date exactly: May 4, 2012. Two days before I was expected to graduate from Berea College. Finally, four years of hard work, tears, stress, prayers, etc, was coming to its long and arduous end; I was so close to the finish line I could literally taste it. This day was also the day that temporary senior grades were due. Naturally, I was a little bit anxious; all of my other classes I knew I was going to be ok, but there was one that was weighing heavily on my mind, one that I had struggled all semester with: Genetics. To add insult to injury, this was a core class for the biology major. In other news, I NEEDED this class to graduate. NEEDED. Period. Moreover, this class was only offered in the spring, so that was it. One shot. I had finished my finals and everything else, so I logged onto the online portal to check my grades. Intro to New Testament: B+. Archery and Square Dancing: A-. Herpetology: B. Evolution: B. BME: A. I got all the way to Genetics and was horrified to see a D+. My heart plummeted into my stomach. That was it. I remember, blatantly, the course catalog for the biology major: all courses a C or better to pass. I did the only thing I could think of doing...
Later that day I went to go see my adviser and he asked me how my grades were. I said something to the degree of "Dr Rowley, I have a D+ in Genetics, I don't know what I'm going to do." He asked what I meant. I said that the course catalog said you needed a C or better. By this point I could feel myself getting upset, but I did my best not to show it. Then, with everything I could muster, I managed "Am I going to graduate on Sunday?" Probably one of the scariest moments of my college career. Without hesitating, he said "Let me check." So while he was busy on the computer, I was panicking. My mind was racing; I was going to have to stay two extra semesters just for one class! All I kept saying, thinking, praying, was "I don't know what I'm going to do." Not even a few minutes later I heard, "Holly, stop."
My adviser looked me square in the eye and said, "You're going to be fine. You're going to graduate."
Apparently, I don't know what course catalog I had read, but it was wrong. There wasn't ANYTHING about needing a C or better. Nothing. Yeah, I was definitely crying by that point, but in the best possible way. Two days later I walked across the Seabury stage and got my Bachelor's degree. Afterwards, I hugged my adviser and told him "Thank you. For everything."
God won't bring you so far into something only to have you fall flat on your face. He puts people in your path for a reason. He gives you strength for a reason. So hold on, to your strength and to those who want what's best for you.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Certain of certainty
Holly: Well met, readers! We are 11 days into 2014. I hope that you are all well, happy, enjoying your people, getting settled back into your routines, enjoying whatever new blessings have already come your way, etc. Already I have found myself meditating on something I have, yes, learned in just a few short days of this year:
Nothing is certain.
No, really. It isn't. I have been mulling over so many possibilities in my head since the start of this year, and although I'm still not sure what to do, perhaps, sometime, I'll end up taking a risk. For those of you wondering, no, I'm not quitting my job, so that's that. But anyway, with things like this, you have to stay open-minded. For example, I never imagined staying in Berea. I had ambitions of moving to the Carolinas and working in a vet clinic down there. Halfway through college, I realized vet school wasn't going to work out, and Berea was growing on me more and more. Fast forward a couple of years: now I'm not in vet school, I'm living in Berea, quite happily, with no intention of leaving anytime soon, and I'm working as a lab coordinator for biology and I couldn't be happier. I was so...certain...that I had everything figured out. And now I am where I am, and next year, I could be somewhere different. Who knows? The only one that knows, and the only one that is certain, is God. I'm going to continue praying, and trusting Him. Stay tuned. :)
Kelly: Things too have changed in a very short amount of time that this new year has started. I'm still trying to decide whether or not this is really God or if it's just me wanting or not wanting the circumstances to happen. I've hit a few bumps in the road at work, almost resulting in some pretty drastic changes. All is well now, and I'm doing my best to ensure it stays that way. Again, it reminded me that sometimes even though God gives us what we need, it's not always in the way we think it is. That was a hard pill to swallow, and it's one that I'm still learning how to deal with that one. But that's why God puts awesome people in your life; they're there for a reason.
Now onto that note. God does put people in your life for a reason, whatever those reasons may be.Just recently, I've delved into the possibility of starting a relationship. Yes, an actual one. Nothing has progressed yet; it's kind of a long story but we're both ok with the fact that things are the way they are now for a reason (being 1000+ miles away from each other also puts a damper on plans as well). But in about 2 years time things may change and we may move forward. But for now, we're ok with being good friends and perhaps a little bit more (nothing like THAT, ok?) I still miss him, a hecka lot, but in the meantime I'm doing the best I can. I think we both realized that something was potentially there, but again, like this post, I can't be certain of it. That's just the way it is sometimes. I think the mentality I'm going to try and have as this year continues is the fact that I don't know what will happen. I have to be open to whatever God may throw my way, and I have to be ready for it. I have to trust Him; it's the only other option I have. Last year I was between a rock and hard place, and I was certain that my own strength and willpower would get me through. How much do you want to bet how long that lasted? Keep moving forward, that's what I'm saying. So it goes.
Nothing is certain.
No, really. It isn't. I have been mulling over so many possibilities in my head since the start of this year, and although I'm still not sure what to do, perhaps, sometime, I'll end up taking a risk. For those of you wondering, no, I'm not quitting my job, so that's that. But anyway, with things like this, you have to stay open-minded. For example, I never imagined staying in Berea. I had ambitions of moving to the Carolinas and working in a vet clinic down there. Halfway through college, I realized vet school wasn't going to work out, and Berea was growing on me more and more. Fast forward a couple of years: now I'm not in vet school, I'm living in Berea, quite happily, with no intention of leaving anytime soon, and I'm working as a lab coordinator for biology and I couldn't be happier. I was so...certain...that I had everything figured out. And now I am where I am, and next year, I could be somewhere different. Who knows? The only one that knows, and the only one that is certain, is God. I'm going to continue praying, and trusting Him. Stay tuned. :)
Kelly: Things too have changed in a very short amount of time that this new year has started. I'm still trying to decide whether or not this is really God or if it's just me wanting or not wanting the circumstances to happen. I've hit a few bumps in the road at work, almost resulting in some pretty drastic changes. All is well now, and I'm doing my best to ensure it stays that way. Again, it reminded me that sometimes even though God gives us what we need, it's not always in the way we think it is. That was a hard pill to swallow, and it's one that I'm still learning how to deal with that one. But that's why God puts awesome people in your life; they're there for a reason.
Now onto that note. God does put people in your life for a reason, whatever those reasons may be.Just recently, I've delved into the possibility of starting a relationship. Yes, an actual one. Nothing has progressed yet; it's kind of a long story but we're both ok with the fact that things are the way they are now for a reason (being 1000+ miles away from each other also puts a damper on plans as well). But in about 2 years time things may change and we may move forward. But for now, we're ok with being good friends and perhaps a little bit more (nothing like THAT, ok?) I still miss him, a hecka lot, but in the meantime I'm doing the best I can. I think we both realized that something was potentially there, but again, like this post, I can't be certain of it. That's just the way it is sometimes. I think the mentality I'm going to try and have as this year continues is the fact that I don't know what will happen. I have to be open to whatever God may throw my way, and I have to be ready for it. I have to trust Him; it's the only other option I have. Last year I was between a rock and hard place, and I was certain that my own strength and willpower would get me through. How much do you want to bet how long that lasted? Keep moving forward, that's what I'm saying. So it goes.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
I want that!/I really need that: Two girls struggling to learn the differences
Holly: The other day I was thinking of this very question, and it's really struck me ever since: If you had everything you wanted, everything you REALLY wanted...would it change anything? What struck me the most is that, for me anyway, the answer would probably be no.
Sure, if I had a million dollars, it would change my financial situation, but it wouldn't change me as a person. If Martin Freeman walked into my apartment and said "Holly, be my wife", it would change my relationship status, but it wouldn't change me as a person (Ok, maybe that's not the best example). But do you understand what I'm saying? Think about it: When you finally get something you really, really want, how does it make you feel? Probably ecstatic, at first. But feelings fade and change over time. Eventually, it just feels like another routine, another brick set into a growing wall. Something I've learned is that things don't change me: time does, experiences do, God does. I've done a lot of growing up since being on my own...probably more so in this past week alone. Eventually, when it's all said and done, I think at some point you say everything that can be said and do everything that can be done. It has to be enough. Our society is so selfish: let's see what we can do to get everyone desiring bigger, better, faster, stronger, damned if we do, damned if we don't. What's wrong with being satisfied with what you already have? Right now, there's a lot of unknowns in my life, but I'm the happiest and the most at peace I've been in a long time. I have everything I need...even if it isn't everything I necessarily want.
I think of Bilbo Baggins in his sweeping quest: something "Tookish" awakes in him and he's suddenly longing for adventure, thrills, a rip-roaring good time. But look what happens: he's attacked by trolls, spiders, elves, almost drowns, is caught in a humongous battle, among other things. Is what you REALLY want really worth the possible repercussions?
Kelly: Often the scream of protest when something goes our way, or you didn't get what you wanted...again. Life is cruel sometimes, ain't it? As a result of some events that have happened this week, I've done a lot of growing up. I suppose I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was. For the sake of privacy I'm not going to go into detail of the events, but all is well. Eventually you get to a point in which you can't say anymore or do anything else, for it has all been said and done already. You win some and you lose some. I've prayed and made my peace with the situation. Anyway, as I was thinking last night about the events of this week and other things, I realized that one thing that I needed was some sort of closure. But the more Holly and I kept talking, the more I realized that it wasn't something I needed; just something I wanted. But we continued to talk more, and I realized that I didn't even want it at all. I was somehow trying to justify something that simply cannot be. Like I said, it's all already been said and done.
Last night as I was wrapping up my daily quiet time, I wrote in my journal, thanking God for how He has blessed me lately. I closed by writing that I was thankful for always having everything that I need, and thanking Him that He did not give me everything that I wanted. That would be quite scary; me having everything I wanted. I feel if that were so, I would completely lose dependence on God...sometimes I already feel like that. It's like I feel like a child who has lost her mom in a crowded shopping mall. I then though of something else; and yes, you can't have an H and K blog post without some sort of reference. When the new Hobbit movie trailer was released, I was quite pleased with the fact that Smaug's voice still remained hidden. Leave room for a little bit of mystery come December. That's what it's like with living with God; if He granted us everything we wanted, we'd all be stagnant. The mystery that is Christ Himself would no longer be. So I'll close with this; do you really NEED what you are seeking, or do you just want it?
Sure, if I had a million dollars, it would change my financial situation, but it wouldn't change me as a person. If Martin Freeman walked into my apartment and said "Holly, be my wife", it would change my relationship status, but it wouldn't change me as a person (Ok, maybe that's not the best example). But do you understand what I'm saying? Think about it: When you finally get something you really, really want, how does it make you feel? Probably ecstatic, at first. But feelings fade and change over time. Eventually, it just feels like another routine, another brick set into a growing wall. Something I've learned is that things don't change me: time does, experiences do, God does. I've done a lot of growing up since being on my own...probably more so in this past week alone. Eventually, when it's all said and done, I think at some point you say everything that can be said and do everything that can be done. It has to be enough. Our society is so selfish: let's see what we can do to get everyone desiring bigger, better, faster, stronger, damned if we do, damned if we don't. What's wrong with being satisfied with what you already have? Right now, there's a lot of unknowns in my life, but I'm the happiest and the most at peace I've been in a long time. I have everything I need...even if it isn't everything I necessarily want.
I think of Bilbo Baggins in his sweeping quest: something "Tookish" awakes in him and he's suddenly longing for adventure, thrills, a rip-roaring good time. But look what happens: he's attacked by trolls, spiders, elves, almost drowns, is caught in a humongous battle, among other things. Is what you REALLY want really worth the possible repercussions?
Kelly: Often the scream of protest when something goes our way, or you didn't get what you wanted...again. Life is cruel sometimes, ain't it? As a result of some events that have happened this week, I've done a lot of growing up. I suppose I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was. For the sake of privacy I'm not going to go into detail of the events, but all is well. Eventually you get to a point in which you can't say anymore or do anything else, for it has all been said and done already. You win some and you lose some. I've prayed and made my peace with the situation. Anyway, as I was thinking last night about the events of this week and other things, I realized that one thing that I needed was some sort of closure. But the more Holly and I kept talking, the more I realized that it wasn't something I needed; just something I wanted. But we continued to talk more, and I realized that I didn't even want it at all. I was somehow trying to justify something that simply cannot be. Like I said, it's all already been said and done.
Last night as I was wrapping up my daily quiet time, I wrote in my journal, thanking God for how He has blessed me lately. I closed by writing that I was thankful for always having everything that I need, and thanking Him that He did not give me everything that I wanted. That would be quite scary; me having everything I wanted. I feel if that were so, I would completely lose dependence on God...sometimes I already feel like that. It's like I feel like a child who has lost her mom in a crowded shopping mall. I then though of something else; and yes, you can't have an H and K blog post without some sort of reference. When the new Hobbit movie trailer was released, I was quite pleased with the fact that Smaug's voice still remained hidden. Leave room for a little bit of mystery come December. That's what it's like with living with God; if He granted us everything we wanted, we'd all be stagnant. The mystery that is Christ Himself would no longer be. So I'll close with this; do you really NEED what you are seeking, or do you just want it?
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Praying for rain
Kelly: If you all have been watching 30 seconds of the news, it is story after story after story about the fact that rain has been needed. In more areas than ours, but still...rain has been needed. The first mini rain storm started on the first of this month; about 20 minutes of a good downpour. After that, nothing much. 90's, 100+ heat advisories for the last few weeks, and yeah. Before that I couldn't even remember the last time it rained. I'm fairly certain it did not rain the entire month of June unless somebody can jog my memory. Ok enough about that.
For the last few days it has rained a couple of times, but mostly just 20-30 minute downpours and the next day the grounds are completely dry again. This is due to the fact that even though the temperatures have been cooler the humidity is in the 80-90%. Well last night it stormed for quite a bit. Today we have gotten not only one, or 2 but 3 storms. The third one is en route as I type this. With RAIN!!!! Lots and lots of rain! As strange as it is there is a certain beauty behind these storms. It is an answer to prayers that many folks across the country have been yearning for. So yes. Very thankful. This recent rain storm has had me thinking about a silly analogy really. In life we go through "dry spells." A dry spell is defined in the book of Kelly as a moment or period of time in which extenuating circumstances get in the way and cause a wide variety of emotions. These emotions include but are not limited to doubt, fear, anger, worry, sadness, etc. In some of my friends I've noticed their dry spells have been with jobs, family, relationships or in my case health problems...or a health problem. I'm seeing a surgeon next Wednesday about my ankle. I don't know what the outcome will be. Maybe some rain (as in answers) will come my way.
Or maybe in my case it's a break from the storm I'm hoping for. Somebody who will listen and say "I hear you. Let's not cover the problem but try to figure out what's still causing it." So as I close, I will leave with this; take the time to figure out what your dry spells are, if you have any. Thank God for the rain He has sent, or maybe you still need prayers for rain to be sent.
Holly: Might I also remind everyone that like half of the country is in a drought. Hopefully this rain now will help that. Like Kelly, I can't even remember the last time it rained until tonight...I'm guessing April (20-30 minute bouts don't count...a WHOLE day of rain). And I've also noticed many people I care about going through dry spells. Perhaps the rain is a sign of better things to come.
Perhaps the rain is a sign of better things to come. That's what I'm choosing to believe. An old cliche I heard not too long ago is "I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds tomorrow." Something I always joke around about life being short is that we just never know...I could step outside my door tomorrow and be hit by a bus. We just don't know. But what I do know is that many people have prayed for rain...and now it is here. That has to count for something. There's still hope. There always is.
Just now Kelly was saying she always thinks of a particular song whenever it rains. So I'll post some of the lyrics and also close with this: we all go through dry spells. But keep the faith that the rain will come. As I said before, there's always hope. It might not come when we want, or in a way that we expect. But God has been way too good to me and my sister for not having hope. The thunder and lightning are rolling...I believe things are changing. Have faith.
"It doesn't have to make sense. That's why it's called faith." -from an episode of "ER"
Savior, Savior, hear my humble cry
While on others Thou art calling
Do not pass me by
For the last few days it has rained a couple of times, but mostly just 20-30 minute downpours and the next day the grounds are completely dry again. This is due to the fact that even though the temperatures have been cooler the humidity is in the 80-90%. Well last night it stormed for quite a bit. Today we have gotten not only one, or 2 but 3 storms. The third one is en route as I type this. With RAIN!!!! Lots and lots of rain! As strange as it is there is a certain beauty behind these storms. It is an answer to prayers that many folks across the country have been yearning for. So yes. Very thankful. This recent rain storm has had me thinking about a silly analogy really. In life we go through "dry spells." A dry spell is defined in the book of Kelly as a moment or period of time in which extenuating circumstances get in the way and cause a wide variety of emotions. These emotions include but are not limited to doubt, fear, anger, worry, sadness, etc. In some of my friends I've noticed their dry spells have been with jobs, family, relationships or in my case health problems...or a health problem. I'm seeing a surgeon next Wednesday about my ankle. I don't know what the outcome will be. Maybe some rain (as in answers) will come my way.
Or maybe in my case it's a break from the storm I'm hoping for. Somebody who will listen and say "I hear you. Let's not cover the problem but try to figure out what's still causing it." So as I close, I will leave with this; take the time to figure out what your dry spells are, if you have any. Thank God for the rain He has sent, or maybe you still need prayers for rain to be sent.
Holly: Might I also remind everyone that like half of the country is in a drought. Hopefully this rain now will help that. Like Kelly, I can't even remember the last time it rained until tonight...I'm guessing April (20-30 minute bouts don't count...a WHOLE day of rain). And I've also noticed many people I care about going through dry spells. Perhaps the rain is a sign of better things to come.
Perhaps the rain is a sign of better things to come. That's what I'm choosing to believe. An old cliche I heard not too long ago is "I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds tomorrow." Something I always joke around about life being short is that we just never know...I could step outside my door tomorrow and be hit by a bus. We just don't know. But what I do know is that many people have prayed for rain...and now it is here. That has to count for something. There's still hope. There always is.
Just now Kelly was saying she always thinks of a particular song whenever it rains. So I'll post some of the lyrics and also close with this: we all go through dry spells. But keep the faith that the rain will come. As I said before, there's always hope. It might not come when we want, or in a way that we expect. But God has been way too good to me and my sister for not having hope. The thunder and lightning are rolling...I believe things are changing. Have faith.
"It doesn't have to make sense. That's why it's called faith." -from an episode of "ER"
Savior, Savior, hear my humble cry
While on others Thou art calling
Do not pass me by
Monday, March 26, 2012
Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power
Kelly: Haters gonna hate, but love will overcome. This is very pertinent to the events of today. In the choir that sis and I are involved in, some words that were spoken have stirred some controversy. I admit, when I first heard what was spoken, I was offended. But, because like the negative comments that have been said, I was misunderstood. I can say proudly that I am not anymore. God was THERE yesterday, whether or not people accept that. He. was. THERE.
That being said, I am keeping my end very simple. I am not going to feed into these negative comments that have been said, or lack thereof. If there is a problem, I believe in facing it. I hope that these people who have been saying these negative comments no longer misunderstand us and what BME is about. But if not, I hope they at least know that God loves them, no matter what. And...I am finished.
Holly: Without beating a dead horse, I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said. I don't think we've seen the end of this. But I sincerely hope that our beloved BME choir will hold tight and strong to our mission, to our integrity, to the hope in the lives that we have changed. I think that is stronger than the impact of any words.
That being said, I am keeping my end very simple. I am not going to feed into these negative comments that have been said, or lack thereof. If there is a problem, I believe in facing it. I hope that these people who have been saying these negative comments no longer misunderstand us and what BME is about. But if not, I hope they at least know that God loves them, no matter what. And...I am finished.
Holly: Without beating a dead horse, I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said. I don't think we've seen the end of this. But I sincerely hope that our beloved BME choir will hold tight and strong to our mission, to our integrity, to the hope in the lives that we have changed. I think that is stronger than the impact of any words.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Things are going to get better.
Kelly: Because eventually...they just have to. I am a firm believer that overtime so much bad comes our way that only good can be left. Bottom line. Like today for example...on Friday I'm heading to the 3rd outside consultation for my ankle problems that I've had for almost the past two years. Why? Because I know myself better than anyone, and NO ONE should have to be in constant pain for as long as I have been. Overtime, I've just gotten used to it that basically it's just the norm. More time goes by, and eventually I just stop thinking about it. But recently, the little voice in my head has resurfaced with that whisper of "ok, you can't just ignore this." So Friday...I go again. 1:45. I will update as soon as I am able.
Now comes the good stuff...I was feeling unsure about all this stuff that was going on with my ankle, and on top of that my best friend at home has been struggling with some issues. I won't mention them for privacy's sake, but...it's been really hard for all of us. But she's strong and she can handle it, and so can we. Anyway, so I was thinking about all that, on top of being in the ICU for clinicals all day which was super busy. I had just walked back into my dorm when I got a phone call from Holly. She was really quiet, and I thought she was upset. So now I'm uber freaking out, but then she told me "guess what I'm holding in my hand?" The rest is history...
Holly: I walked out of a test this morning feeling less than confident about it. I spent over an hour on the phone today with my best friend from home, who is going through hell and back again. I hung up the phone with her and broke down crying for about 10 minutes (which, if you know me...it takes quite a lot to get to me); I mostly just prayed "God, I don't know what to do anymore. About anything!" Decided at about 12:30 to check my CPO (which, again, on Tuesdays, because I don't eat lunch at food circus...I never do). And out of ANY DAY OF THE WEEK/MONTH that the Colin and Brad tickets decide to be happily sitting in my CPO...it's today!
If that isn't a sign that things aren't going to get better, then I sure as heck don't know what is. I have hope. There's hope. There always is. :)
Now comes the good stuff...I was feeling unsure about all this stuff that was going on with my ankle, and on top of that my best friend at home has been struggling with some issues. I won't mention them for privacy's sake, but...it's been really hard for all of us. But she's strong and she can handle it, and so can we. Anyway, so I was thinking about all that, on top of being in the ICU for clinicals all day which was super busy. I had just walked back into my dorm when I got a phone call from Holly. She was really quiet, and I thought she was upset. So now I'm uber freaking out, but then she told me "guess what I'm holding in my hand?" The rest is history...
 | |||||||
| The reason for our happiness!! |
If that isn't a sign that things aren't going to get better, then I sure as heck don't know what is. I have hope. There's hope. There always is. :)
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