Mrs. Lonely

Kelly: For the past couple of weeks, I have embarked on a new career path 2 hours away from Richmond. I have thoroughly enjoyed my job and getting to know those I am working with. The work has been fun, challenging and a great opportunity for me to expand on a very rewarding and promising career. The biggest adjustment I have had to make thus far is living on my own. For most of my life, I have lived with Holly or in close proximity to her (there was one year in college where we lived in the same dorm but 3 doors down from each other with separate roommates). Even when I was abroad in Scotland, I still lived with roommates. So really, this is the first time in my life where I've truly lived on my own. For the most part I can say I've enjoyed it. I'm really learning a lot about myself as an individual and this has been a great opportunity for me to be accountable and responsible, and I think I've done pretty well. There have been some things I miss though about living with someone, and sometimes the feeling of loneliness can get pretty overwhelming. 

That was the case last night. Holly was up here visiting me for a few days, and when I came home from work last night, my apartment was empty. Remnants of her presence were still there, and I instantly thought about how much fun we had over the past 2 days....and I broke down. And she called me, after not hearing from her for a while, and I basically went off. I was upset, told her I was upset and just wanted to be upset, and I wanted her to feel what I was feeling. During the conversation, she stopped me and said "Kelly, just stop. We need to pray about this." So that's what I did. I got off the phone with her, and I prayed. I realized that the root of all I was feeling was just loneliness. Plain and simple loneliness. It stinks sometimes, and it sneaks up on you when you're least expecting it, and that's what happened to me last night. After I finished praying, I sat in silence for about a minute, then for some reason felt compelled to go on my Facebook. The first thing that came up on my newsfeed was a picture of a friend of mine and her kids at the movies. And I smiled....widely. I thought about the good times we had shared over the last couple of months, how we've walked alongside each other in Christ, encouraged each other and some of the conversations we've shared, and it made me so happy. It was then I realized that where that happiness came from; God. 

As a Christian single young woman, it seems like there's a lot of pressure for us to learn how to be contented in our singleness. And yeah, for the most part, I am. But there are some days....where that feeling of walking home after a long day of work with no one to share it with really hits me hard. I am still a work in progress, and God has shown me so much about Him in these last 3 weeks that I've been here. I know there's still so much I have to learn, if I'm willing to be open to what He might be trying to show me or tell me. I am so thankful that God is patient, and I don't think I'll ever be able to truly comprehend and acknowledge all that He has done for me. I really am blessed, and sometimes I forget that when I let my feelings take over. One day at a time. Today is better. 

Holly: As I told Kelly via text just a little bit ago, the timing for this could not have been more perfect. I'm a little hesitant to share this, but  here goes: Over the weekend I attended a church event. At one point the crowd had thinned considerably and I was left waiting for my boyfriend to finish tearing down the set/stage from the morning. I waited...and I waited...and I waited some more. And it wasn't too long before this overwhelming feeling of loneliness set in. It didn't make any sense to me; in a good-sized crowd, all gathered together for the sake of glorifying the Lord, I should have felt right at home. But I didn't. At one point I felt very isolated.  Left out. And it hurt.

Later on in the day, after seriously considering going home, I moved spots, where I was able to spend some time in pleasant conversation with a mom I'd recently gotten to know through a small group. It certainly helped to alleviate the feelings from before. But after I'd gotten home and was talking about the day with my boyfriend, at some point, all of the hurt from earlier came to a rise. And I just completely broke. All the while I was silently praying...just for the hurt to go away. After that, I'm not sure what happened, whether it was my prayers or my boyfriend praying too, but I felt better. I soon realized that there is one person that will never, ever leave us to feel isolated, lonely, left out, and that's God. I believe He brought peace into my heart at the exact moment I asked for it.  I believe He did the same to Kelly, just through a different means. Part of my conversation with Kelly a few days ago was a reminder that my boyfriend by himself is not and cannot be the source of my joy. At least full, complete, unconditional joy. That type of joy can ONLY be found in Christ and through Christ based on what He did for us at the cross and what He has done in our lives.

Wrapping up and maybe digressing a little with a bit of a confession: I think the church needs to refocus some of its areas more towards single people. Many ministries are geared towards married couples and families, and I think that's absolutely fantastic. But I don't think I need to throw out hard data and statistics to make a point that number of single people attending church is rising. And sometimes I think they're getting left out of what could be some very valuable opportunities. I think my prolonged period of singleness was beneficial in my now relationship, but I think that, especially for young women, there's a lot of shame in being single. And there shouldn't be at all!

Maybe I should rephrase that last bit: I think we as humans sometimes need to refocus some of our areas towards single people. I would encourage any of you reading this who are married or in a relationship: reach out to one or a few of your single friends. Encourage them in their goals and in their walk with Christ. Show Christ TO them. Remind them that their singleness is to be celebrated, not a problem to be fixed. Let them know that they are loved and treasured. Because when we have that perfect, complete joy in Christ, we are free to be the 100% version of us that we are destined to be. Single or not. Cry out to God in the midst of your loneliness. He is there.

Fear and joy and Christmas

Holly: Merry Christmas, dear readers! I hope that wherever you are in the world that your Christmas has been full of smiles, laughter, good food and family, and the comfort of memories that will keep you cheerful for weeks and months to come.

Kelly had to work today so I spent the better part of the day by myself with the kitties.  To be honest though, it wasn't bad. Life has been busy and full of people and merry gatherings lately, and it was nice to have the day to myself with some Doctor Who and making a small but nice Christmas dinner. Of course that I wish that we could be in Ohio with our family, but that's life: full of obligations and commitments that we sometimes can't ignore. I've been reading a lot of negative stuff on social media lately. People getting frustrated over little things, people worried about what others think of them, people complaining about their circumstances, their job they hate, their living situation they hate...I think you know what I'm talking about.

Guys, it's Christmas. And yes, I know that this day and this time of year tends to inherently bring out the best in others, but what I don't understand is why it's just these few days out of the year that we're somehow obligated to be nice to those around us. We, and especially we as Christians, ought to be spreading Christ's love and joy all the time, regardless of whether or not we "feel" like it. It's sometimes a challenge for me too, but I'm thankful for grace, and for those in my life who are struggling just like the rest of us.

I'm going to end by sharing something that I wrote on my Facebook earlier today:

While sis is at work today bringing Christmas cheer to those at her work who no doubt need it, today it's just me and the kitties celebrating the holiday. This is the second Christmas we've spent in Kentucky, and while I honestly wish we could be in Ohio with our parents and brother, I realize that there are those around the world, and even in our neighborhoods, who also are unable to be with their families today, but for circumstances much worse than the temporary "inconvenience" of a job. It's easy to lament our circumstances, our funks, and celebrate negativity. It's easy to let fear, frustration, and disappointment steal our joy. But today I choose just that: JOY! How can I not? Today I choose, as was the message at Vineyard last night, to celebrate! Today I celebrate not just the birth of Christ, but all the ways, the sometimes seemingly insignificant, ways that God has blessed me! And once you do that, well....to me, there's no more room for all that other negative stuff.

"O come, let us adore Him!"

Kelly: I just got off work actually. I was a bit saddened at first upon finding out I had to work at first, because I asked for it off and didn't get it. Oh well. I accepted it and realized it was something I wasn't able to change. And with the exception of nearly having to break up a fight at the end of my shift, it wasn't a bad day at all. It seemed like the Christmas spirit hit everyone today, which was a good thing. Not to mention I wore jeans and my TARDIS kitty shirt! And time and a half pay...holla! Last night was wonderful as well; spending the evening with friends, new friends, and children. It was a bit loud at times, but it reminded me of how loved I really am. The gestures were not big and grandiose by any means, just simply getting invited to Christmas Eve service and then dinner with our pastor and family. Nothing fancy, huh? Again, feeling the love. 

At church last night, one of the things that the pastor said was "do not let fear steal your joy." Fear....fear of what? What in the world are we all so afraid of? Sis and I were talking about this not too long ago, and it seems like that society is crippled with it lately. And I came to the conclusion that if we let fear run our lives, then we'd never leave our houses. So as this Christmas comes to an end and eventually as we see the end of 2015, the question that was asked was this; what or who are we following? Are we following fear, something else, someone else, or Him? I know who I'm trying to follow. 

Welcome to our new home!

Holly: Hey everyone, it's just me today! Kelly is currently day 5 into a 10 day mission trip in Huancayo, Peru! She will tell you all about it once she returns.

I'm on my lunch break right now, and since taking a break outside really isn't much of an option thanks to all the bloody rain we got last night/this morning, I figured I would share a few pictures of our new place. Aside from having to come home to just myself and the kitties every night for the past almost week, I am quite pleased.  We think it's an older building, and it has a few quirks, but again, I am pleased! The location is very ideal- I can make it to work in just under 20 minutes, same will be for Kelly too. It's about 5 minutes away from the first Richmond exit off the interstate, which is where a lot of our Richmond favorites are located.  A little more than 5 minutes the other way, and you're in downtown! We're pretty fortunate! :) Plus, it's QUIET, and it's a beautiful neighborhood! I've been there almost a week and haven't heard a peep from our neighbor, and the only other noise is perhaps a few late-night rabble rousers out hooting and hollering, but that is it! Now if the cats would stop getting into stuff in the middle of the night, I'd be golden.  The unpacking process has been slow, but it'll get done when it gets done.  It's liveable right now, which was my goal from the start.

Anyway, onto the very brief tour.  More pictures to come once more gets unpacked and put away! :)

This is the living room as of Monday evening, so barely 48 hours after everything had been moved in. It's a little small, but it's cozy. This is the view from the bottom of the stairs that lead upstairs.

Living room as of yesterday! A bit more has been unpacked, but not too much has changed, with the exception of some Time Lords and hobbits on the wall :) Notice my two helpers completely unaware they're getting photographed.

Living room from the kitchen view. This still isn't all of it.  Again, small, but cozy.

The kitchen, which is the perfect size, honestly. I was not sold on the border at first but now it's growing on me. I love the cabinet colors too!

The bedrooms aren't pictured yet; there's 2, and they're HUGE. They're also still full of packed-up stuff, so stay tuned! There's also a little patio space (currently occupied with empty boxes and totes), and a little side yard.

So there you have it, folks, our new little humble home! God gave us what we need, even if it isn't necessarily what we wanted at first! In the long run, we'll be saving money, which is always a good thing, and we hope to have people over soon.  If you would like our new address, let me know :)

A Richmond chapter begins

Disclaimer: There is a lot of talk about God in this post.  We believe we can ONLY give the credit to Him! Once you read this, you will see why. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to speak to us privately about them.  Otherwise, enjoy the story, and if you feel inspired, praise with us! :)

H: Wednesday we found out that moving into the house was no longer an option, without any real concrete explanation.  Disappointed and frustrated didn't even begin to scratch the surface as to how we felt.  I wrote in my journal for a long time, pouring out my frustrations and anger to God.  Yes, I was angry.  I don't like being angry, and I even apologized.  There was no holding anything back.  At one point I wrote, "I've learned in the journey of becoming a follower of Jesus is that we still have an obligation to show Your love, even if we don't feel like it."  Quite frankly, I didn't feel like it.  We had spent the last two months praying, putting our faith in people following through, only to be left empty-handed and disappointed.  I went to bed unhappy that night, utterly defeated and spent.  I'm surprised I got any sleep at all.

Kelly was due to come home from Ohio Thursday, so I shared with our house church members that we would not be there, so we could spend the evening catching up, relaxing, and discussing our next steps.  But what I didn't mention was that Thursday morning, I heard that still small voice, something, in my gut say, "You shouldn't go to church tonight."  I couldn't explain it.  (That was the first God moment, although I didn't know it at the time)

We went out for Chinese and we'd barely been home five minutes when Kelly got a Facebook message from a co-worker of hers, saying she had spoken to somebody about a duplex available in Richmond (God moment #2). On the phone, she said that a couple was going to look at it the next day, and asked if we could look at it that evening.  We dropped everything and drove up there.  Yes, it was that split-second of a decision! We had no trouble finding the apartment and were immediately taken to the location and the quietness of the neighborhood, despite it being right off the interstate.  Kelly's co-worker arrived a few minutes later and we asked how she knew the landlord.  This was her response (another God moment):

"Oh, I just talked to her on the phone just now.  I've never met her before.  I was just driving through here and I saw the sign out front, and I thought 'This is for Kelly. I want her to be in a safe neighborhood.'"

We were like ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME.

Jennifer, the landlord, arrived a few minutes later.  In addition to her infectious personality, she mentioned that a police officer lives down the street and that her niece works at the preschool nearby (Remember the talk about a safe neighborhood?) We helped ourselves to looking around, and, admittedly, it is a downgrade in terms of size and space, but we've learned over the last year that we've had too much space.  The rent is more than $100 LESS than what we're paying now, and the place was near immaculate, there was new carpet, a small patio outside, plenty of parking, a washer and dryer hooked up (!!!), and, most importantly, Yoda and Wiley are welcome! :) Needless to say, it was not a difficult decision.  By the end of the night, a key was given to us and we had signed the lease!

The drive home was a combination of a daze and utter exuberance. God had shown up! Big time.  If we had gone to church, we would have missed the Facebook message and, ultimately, the phone call, the apartment would have been shown tonight and probably taken, and we would still be stuck waiting until the end of next month.  But now, there is no more waiting, and we have a cute new duplex in Richmond waiting for us.  All thanks to God!

K: While reading this, I thought of Holly. Gave up a UK, full-time benefited job for what she does now for the sake of being happier and less stressed out. I also think about getting my first job; that moment and time when I was just ready to give up was when I got the magic phone call. That's what happened here last night; God gave us what we needed, not what we wanted. I remember so many times praying "God just get us this house. Just get us this house." I'm not going to say it was as if my prayers were falling on deaf ears, because I don't believe that. Rather I just felt that this house we were seeking so hard for was just not going to happen. I always had this small notion in the back of my head that it was just going to not work out. Perhaps that was God's way of saying that He had something better for us. Because let's face it, the last thing we actually needed was MORE space and more money to be given for rent.

I truly believe that God talks and shows us what we need in a lot of mysterious yet awesome ways. I remember walking into that duplex and was like "this is it." That "aha!" moment. I don't believe in coincidence. I think coincidence is just one of the many ways God speaks to us. Though I can't hold claim to actually hearing His voice, I can hold to the fact that His fingerprints were ALL OVER THIS. There's really nothing more I need to add to this. It's all been said. We are excited to begin this new adventure and see where else He will take us. My ending is this; if you're waiting for something and feel like throwing in the towel, that's usually when a corner will turn. Sometimes it's not a good corner, but in our experience it usually is. Keep the faith, and remember that God is good.

House stuff, other stuff and what we've learned

Kelly: And once again, we apologize for the extremely large gap in between posts. Life has gotten somewhat in the way again, in good ways though. For starters, I'm getting ready to leave for Peru in a few weeks. Has it really been that long since an update? Yes! Anyway, I'm going to Peru in 2 weeks. A few folks from church, myself and a cohort in Georgia are getting together to do medical missions/children's ministry. We leave on the 1st and will be gone for 10 days. Wee bleep! So preparations for that have taken up a bit of my time, and there's still a few things I have to do but I foresee they will not be too terribly demanding.

As most of you all know, we are still in the process of getting ready to move into our first house...hopefully. Just for clarification, we are NOT buying. Still renting, but it's a nice house and for the price per month it's a pretty good deal. We looked at it last week, met our landlord and his wife, filled out our application and are now waiting. The wife was not too keen on the idea of us bringing along the fur babies, but we said leaving them behind was just not an option. She didn't come right out and say we couldn't have them, rather "preferably not." So now we're waiting and hopefully we will hear something soon. Throughout this entire process, it's been a series of just waiting. Waiting for answers, waiting for God's direction, waiting. And learning how to be patient and be ok with waiting. And learning and doing my best to maintain a positive attitude while getting things here packed up. Seems like some creepy-crawly bug freeloaders want to come along too, but I've had to give them a few smacks, sucks in the vacuum and a big firm no they are not allowed. That in and of itself is a whole other ordeal for another time. So yeah. Lots of waiting, but God has really shown us how to basically handle that, even though we feel like going crazy 99.9% of the time. It really does hold true that God doesn't give you patience; He gives you circumstances and scenarios in which you have no choice but to just be patient. And wait.

So there you have it. It's been exciting, knowing that something great is going to happen. Not knowing when it will happen has caused a bit of anxiety, but I keep telling myself it'll be worth it. Having a sense of humor throughout this process has helped greatly too, because if I wasn't laughing or trying to get sis to find the humor we'd probably be crying. Thanks for hanging with us, and we are looking forward to many many house parties!

Holly: And here I am, a couple of days late! I shared this entire process with the small house-based church we've been attending, and there was a comment that said "It's a good thing we're all so patient, right?" I WISH! Some days, I must admit, are much easier than others.  Some days it takes everything in me to not just take a flamethrower to the entire place and dance upon the ashes when it finally burns to the ground. But we can't do that (And we definitely shouldn't do that). Some days, most days, I just grin and bear it and deal with it, silently praying that one day, ONE DAY, we WILL hear something and we WILL be in a much better situation. Like Kelly said, though, God has shown us a lot through this waiting game.

I've been reminded one of the points from a sermon a couple of weeks ago, and I'm probably butchering it to kingdom come, but it was something to the degree of that you don't have to necessarily like your circumstances to keep trusting God. Do I like that we're basically sitting ducks? No, I don't.  I wanted to be out of our apartment months ago! But, unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. I'm just really fortunate that I have my faith in Jesus in the first place, because if I didn't have at least that hope, I really don't know what I would do. I'm also really fortunate that I have such a strong network of people that are cheering us along, encouraging us, also making us try to see the humor in it all, praying for us, offering to help us move, and so on.  It's good to have people! :)

So that's where we are right now.  Hopefully the next time we post it will be with a moving date and plenty of pictures and happiness galore! Thank you all for journeying along in this craziness with us!

A Generalized Life Update #2

Kelly: So I've been at my new job gig for a little over a month now, and so far things are going really well. Our patient numbers (census) have been high for a while, which has made things crazy but so far nothing catastrophic or earth-shattering has happened. For the most part everyone has been calm, somewhat happy and haven't made any ridiculous demands. I really enjoy the staff I work with and we all have a good time and love what we do. I really enjoy the patients too, and gone are the days of constantly feeling like walking on eggshells. When working in psych, things were so unpredictable all the time, and you just never knew what may set someone off. So there's that. It's pretty smashing.

Secondly, Holly and I have been in the process of trying to find a house to rent. We can't quite afford swinging to buy one yet, but it's time for a change. We've been at our townhouse for a little over 2 years now, and a series of circumstances have left us ready to go. It's been overall a somewhat frustrating process, in terms of finding a house and making phone calls to prospective rental companies/landlords. We've learned the term "single family" does not apply to twin sisters, which sort of stinks for us. Neither one of us can really afford to live on our own, nor do we want to. We've had a lot of closed doors, but as of today two more prospective options have opened up. I'm not really trying to keep my hopes up, but there's a part of me that is optimistic that one of these two will work out. On the way home after just driving by to look at a neighborhood in where one of them are, we prayed while driving, and soon after came across the number of another house to rent. God is good! I'm going to make a phone call tomorrow to this other house and hopefully things will be in our favor. So that's what's going on in our lives for the time being. Thanks for hanging with us!

Holly: I spent all of last week traveling for work-related events: building two high tunnels and a VISTA training/networking/catching up weekend in Pikeville, KY.  Got to reconnect with a lot of VISTAs from my Atlanta training, and meet some more, all of who are doing some pretty awesome things in northern and eastern Kentucky. Speaking of VISTA, things are going very, very well; I am still really happy there and I'm learning more and more as every week passes.  I have about three and a half months to go until my term ends, and I feel like the second half has just flown by! As for post-VISTA....well, they liked me so much they decided to offer me a full time gig!! Yep, you are totally reading that correctly! :) I've known for quite a while now but have been essentially sworn to secrecy, but I think I've kept it a secret for long enough! I am beyond excited to transition into this new role and I am still blown away at just how much God has worked for good when He called me to do this crazy thing almost a year ago! I don't know any of the logistics yet, but...yeah, there it is!!

Yoda and Wiley (our pet babies) have been with us for three years now.  We still love them to pieces and they still drives us insane.  They've brought us so much joy and have kept us ridiculously entertained.  Neither of us are in relationships still, and we're still ok with that (Although I'm plotting...) And lastly, we're spending Memorial Day weekend in Indiana! You may remember when we went to their wedding almost four years ago! Yep...their little girl is due in July (their first!!!), and we are all BEYOND excited :)

So that's basically it.  Pray God will have His will as we continue to search for a house, and that all will go well for our dear Ashley and her little Nugget :) Thank you all for continuing to journey on this crazy road with us!

And just in case you need a laugh, which I'm sure you could always use one, you can watch this video that Kelly and I can't get enough of!

Excerpts from H and K's cookbook

Holly: Ok, let's just be honest here...they're mostly from Pinterest :)

In the spirit of holiday gorging ourselves, we thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our recipes that win us over every time! We hope you try some, and if you do, we hope you love them all as much as we do!

1. Coca-Cola Chocolate Cake

Kelly doesn't even LIKE chocolate cake, but she'll devour this one!  The secret: Coke! :) Added with cinnamon, milk, and cocoa powder, it makes for a surprisingly light cake.  I've never frosted it- it's perfect as is.  I may try it with Dr. Pepper or Coke Zero in the future.

Recipe here: http://mayflaum.com/2011/06/08/the-chocolate-cola-cake/

2. Pumpkin Muffins

You guys, these are the EASIEST muffins you will ever make.  2 ingredients, less than 30 minutes.  These muffins are SO moist!  I've made them with yellow cake, as the recipe calls for, but they're excellent with spice cake as well.  Bonus: They are WW friendly :)

Recipe here: http://sweet-verbena.blogspot.com/2011/08/pumpkin-muffins.html

3. Crockpot Cheesy Chicken and Rice

One of our go-to recipes.  Easy to put together and it makes a TON.  Great heated up the next day (and beyond!).

Recipe here: http://www.southernplate.com/2010/09/slow-cooker-cheesy-chicken-and-rice-the-downside-of-being-a-swan-princess.html

Kelly: 

1. The first recipe I am going to share I actually don't have a link for, but it's one of my favorites and it's so super easy! It's called my healthy chicken nuggets (I don't even remember where I found the recipe) But it's simple; grab 3-4 chicken breasts, thawed, and cut them up into bite-sized pieces. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. While the oven's preheating, mix together Parmesan cheese, olive oil, a tad bit of water, salt and pepper and bread crumbs in a bowl. Take the cut-up chicken pieces and swirl them around in the mixture listed above and place the chicken pieces on a greased cookie sheet. Bake for 10-12 minutes and voila! Nothing to it.

2. I make a MEAN wedding soup! Delicious and again, quite easy. Instead of ground beef though I use ground turkey. It makes a good bit too.

Recipe here: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/italian-wedding-soup-i/

3. The last one also doesn't have a link, but we got it from Pinterest. Though it isn't the healthiest of recipes, it sure is tasty! We call it our chicken and veggie of awesome, or CVA for short, NOT to be confused with the proper medical term for a stroke. Haha!!! Here it is: 3-4 chicken breasts, chopped up potatoes, any green vegetable (we've done green beans, brussel sprouts and broccoli), all together in a 9x13 baking dish, one stick of butter melted all over that, and packet of italian seasoning.  Cover and bake for one hour at 350 degrees. Delicious!!!!

So there you have it. Any recipes you have that you would like to share with us? Let us know!

Growing up is hard to do

Kelly: As you all know, yesterday was Thanksgiving. I had to work, so as a result we went back to Ohio last weekend to do Thanksgiving then. One of the things I've learned about being an adult in the real world is that sometimes, actually a lot of times, it requires sacrifice. Time away from family and loved ones, and sometimes it involves being away from your family and loved ones when you really really want to be with them. That was me yesterday; driving on the way to work and instead of working wanting to be snuggled up on the couch under the roof I spent 18 years of my life, smelling the aroma of turkey and pumpkin pie while watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade followed by the National Dog Show. Memories. Fun-filled and joyous memories. If there's one thing I've learned though about being away from the home you grew up in is that some people end up finding another home away from home. That's how we are still here in Berea, because this has become our home away from home. And part of finding your home away from home is finding your family, whether or not they are related by blood or not.

One of my "grown-up" lessons I've held onto the past 6 years I've lived here is that no matter what the circumstances, how old you are, or whatever is running around in your head, you should never feel ashamed or uncomfortable to tell your extended family "hey, life is great right now" or "you know, things are just sucky and I need prayer or a hug" or "oh my gosh I love each and every one of you." And when it comes to family, sometimes it turns out they need you too. I don't really know how to wrap this up but with this; I have grown up a lot. Circumstances and changes have somewhat in a way forced me to. But one thing is for sure, in an ever changing world is an unchanging God who gave me a big ol' Earthly family. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and remember to keep thanking God for your many blessings.

Holly: If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that most of my "wisdom" has come from my observations of just watching those around me live.  I've never been much of a crowd follower, and it really irritates me...actually, makes me sad...that so many my age are still acting like they're stuck in high school.  Don't get me wrong, 99% of the time I'm a complete goofball.  But what in the world is with all the DRAMA? Still?! If the worst thing that happens in your day is that you're pissed at your parents or someone "told you off", then you still have it pretty well off, in my opinion.  I'd love to be pissed at my parents sometimes, even if it meant that I got to spend one more day with them.  As it stands now we're lucky to see our folks 3-4 times a year.  If that.  I don't mean to whine, but it's like what Kelly said earlier: being involved in the real world means sacrifice sometimes.  Also part of my "wisdom" is perspective: there is always someone who has it so much worse than you do, and when it's all said and done, we have a lot more to be thankful for than we realize.

I have an amazing support system, serve an amazing God, have the best parents a girl could ask for, a job that I adore, and yes, I'm still single and enjoying that as well.  Society thinks female 20-somethings should either be in a serious relationship or married with kids by then.  Something else I see so many my age doing is just bouncing around from one relationship to the next...it's almost as if singleness scares them.  IT SHOULDN'T.  Ok, I've been jumping around a lot, but there is a point to all of this, I suppose: I had someone tell me last night that Kelly and I are admired because of our attitudes regarding our circumstances.  Yeah, life is hard sometimes, and yeah, sometimes it's easier to mope and feel sorry for ourselves, but it's a choice: how we feel about it, how we react, despite how we may be feeling.  Heck, it's a choice to breathe a prayer of thanks to God for what you DO have despite how you may be feeling.  Is it easy?  No.  No, sometimes it really isn't.  But one last thing about growing up is that you do not have to be a victim of your circumstances, and you have the power to choose who remains in it for the long haul.

What are some lessons you have learned over the years?

Just for fun, here's H and K at 17

Your someplace

Holly: Lately Kelly and I have been on a bit of a Numb3rs binge.  If you're not sure what that means, you can read more about it here.  Anyway, we watched an episode earlier today, "The Running Man", and one of the side stories is that Charlie and Don discover their late mother was a closeted, and gifted, musical composer.  Their father feels some resentment because he felt as if he was kept in the dark about this.  At the end of the episode, Charlie and Alan (their father) are having a conversation about this discovery; Alan still feels as if she was hiding something, Charlie believes she wasn't.  Charlie states that people go to their own places to be alone, and he puts it this way:

It's just part of being human, you know?  To want to find someplace solely for yourself, whether it be out in the world or deep inside your head.  

Got me thinking about alone time.  As many of you know I am a very happy and exuberant person by nature.  I love to laugh and I do it often.  Most of all, I love people.  However, after taking several personality tests over the past year or so, and just based on my own experiences in that time as well, I have discovered that I do lean towards being an introvert.  Like I said earlier, I love people, but after being around people for an extended period of time, I need time by myself to unwind and detox.  No, that doesn't mean I'm shy.  Quite the opposite, actually.  In fact, I was surprised by these findings because when I was in college, I was waaaayyyyy more of an extrovert (Probably because I didn't have any time to be alone in!).  Back to alone time:  I think Charlie is dead on.  I greatly look forward to my alone time, even though, given my current schedule, my alone time comes in bursts throughout the day: walking to work each morning with my iPod on and a cup of coffee in tow, at home; writing a blog, in my room writing in my journal, reading a book, binging on a Netflix series, sometimes mindlessly surfing the net.  Despite all those, I do find a lot of my solace in writing.  If home doesn't suit me, you can usually find me at Berea Coffee and Tea with a book :)

Alone time is essential.  Yes, we humans are designed to be social, but there is a time for that, and there is a time for retreat as well.  We all need our "someplaces"; to reflect, unwind, or just simply exist.  To me, it's that very time where I learn the most about myself.  What is your someplace?

Kelly: I consider myself to be a people person. Heck, I'm around them so often that it's just second nature to me. But I think that even the one who loves people the most yearn for quiet and solitude at times. Even Jesus needed times of stillness. On my days off, when I wake up in the morning and the house is quiet, sometimes I just gather in all that is around me. My house, the smell of coffee, the cats either sleeping or running around manically. Even now as I'm looking outside, it's gray but the air is somewhat still with the occasional leave blowing. Very gently. Usually days off are spent in where I say very little, and it's ok for me. I've had Holly ask me how I can just stay at home for days on end and not go anywhere. Other than the fact that I'm used to it, but to be honest it's nice. With a job like mine, I look forward to those quiet days where I sometimes get lost in myself.

For me, I like being outside when the weather is nice. When I take in all that's around me I wonder how people can't believe in God? I write my own blog about my nursing endeavors; it's good for me. I can look back and read about those who have touched me deeply, and also reflect on my growth not only as a nurse but as a person as well. My mom discovered my blog and said "Kelly, I feel like I know you so much more." Often when I write a post I'm at home, alone, reflecting on what I am writing about. My favorite someplace is alone, in my bedroom, with my Bible, journal and iPod. I just let all my guards down and I write. God I truly believes sees what I write, and sometimes I just sit, think and pray. Either in my head or sometimes out loud. And I love my music; music is one of the ways I feel that God speaks to me. So I will close with this; take some time for yourself in your someplace. Wherever that is; we get so busy and wrapped up in taking care of other people that sometimes I think we forget that we need a little taking care of too.

The Singles Industry

Kelly: "You just know."

But really? Does any one person ever just "know?" If anyone who has ever been in my shoes and has heard that phrase, you feel the same way I do; it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Yes, we're talking about being single, more importantly single women. To me it seems that there are so many things that give me the impression that being single is a problem to be fixed. And you know what really gets me? There is so much media giving attention to singleness written/advertised by MARRIED women! Let me give you a few examples; blog posts written about being single (by married women), an advertisement on K-LOVE about Proverbs 31 ministries and most of the content of their message is geared towards married women. I'm going to be completely honest, those are the last things I want to see and hear about when it comes to singleness.

Not going to lie, I enjoy being single right now. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find "the one" and while my answer is yes, the truth is I'm not really in any hurry. I sincerely believe God will place the right person in my life and in the meantime I'm going to enjoy the ride. And for the record, I love spending time with my married friends and my friends who are in relationships (and none of them have done these things!) I've learned so much about being in a relationship from them and they are good models for me. I don't feel uncomfortable around them at all. I remember being in high school and sometimes my friends would try to hook me up with a guy they thought I would like, and my freshman year I actually caved and went along with a hook up. He was in 7th grade and had a crush on me since the beginning of time. Needless to say, it lasted about a week and I told him it wasn't him but it was everyone else calling the shots except me, and I had a problem with that. Of course he was crushed, but I did it for the best. Fast forward to 6 years later; I was a junior in college and this guy Facebook messaged me. I won't go into the nitty gritty details, but basically he wanted me back. Not joking. I ran from my dorm to Holly's and told her everything. Very few people know that story. The point is, it's ok to be single; enjoy it. Good grief I knew so many people who seemed to have a new relationship every week. It was exhausting. I don't have a "Mr. Right" in my life yet, but the tides seem to be changing, and I am open to that. So married friends; let your friends be single. Let them enjoy it. Be good examples of a good relationship.

Holly: I'm not going to lie, I harbor a bit of animosity towards the singles industry.  Let me explain: On Facebook or something, every now and then I'll come across an article, blog post, something of that nature, with a comment along the lines of "Shout out to all my single friends, this is for YOU!" And guess what? 9 times out of 10, it comes from someone WHO ISN'T SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Immediately tuned out.  Sorry, but that's just how it is.  If you're a single lady (or guy!!) and you post something like that, then I will be much more inclined to give you the time of day.  I'm sorry, but that's just how it is for me.  I know it's a bit brash.  But let me make a few points:

How about more articles, blog posts, etc, celebrating singleness? The fact that I am 24 years old and am able to keep a roof over my head, pay my bills on time, not starve to death, find a job I enjoy, ALL THE WHILE being comfortable in my own singleness is pretty applause-worthy to me.  Or anyone who is able to do all those things, for that matter.  Nope.  Instead, we are bombarded with "How to be the perfect wife", or advertisements for dating sites, Facebook friends jumping from one relationship to the next, and the list goes on.  Now please do not misunderstand me.  I envision myself getting married someday.  I'm going to be a bridesmaid next summer and I couldn't be more thrilled for my friend.  I would not be opposed to going on a date or two in the forseeable future.  But what's the hurry?  It seems like people are getting married younger and younger these days.  I feel like in today's society, if you hit your mid-20s and you're not married yet, then something's wrong with you.  I'll be 25 in about 8 months or so.  Is something wrong with me?  I certainly don't think so.  For now, I'm going to keep my options open...and continue enjoying my singleness.  Who's with me?

You don't have to try

Holly: Guys, I was just shown this video.  I'm floored.  Completely floored. 

This goes out to the ladies reading this: If you do not do ANYTHING else today, please take 4 minutes out of your day and watch this.  I'm serious.  Please just do yourself a favor and watch this video. 

It's time to stop being ashamed of ourselves.  It's time to love ourselves again.  And again.  And again.

2013: A reflection on lessons learned and some goals for 2014.

Holly and Kelly: This will most likely be our last post of the year 2013, and my how fast it has gone! We would like to take this opportunity to reflect on what we have learned in this past year and how we have grown as humans, sisters, and Christians.

Question God: Really. In a culture that is so bent upon NOT doing such, one thing we have learned is that it is ok to have a healthy questioning of God. We remember talking to each other and asking God "is this really what you want from us?" "Do you really have our best interests at heart?" "How much longer?" Trust me; He can handle it.

Don't be afraid to say no: No is no is no is no. It is a complete sentence, thus should not require explanation. Nobody's going to hate you. Seriously.

Nothing is permanent: This is both a good thing and a bad thing.

Be open-minded to new possibilities and/or challenges: If this were not so, we would have never gotten into Doctor Who. Give things a chance; you never know what you might find. Sometimes things get rough along the way. You can either let them knock you down or you can learn from them. As a result of this, we learned how to forgive loved ones (see below) and be our own people.

The people who are with you through it all are the ones to hold onto: You may think you have known someone your whole life, but when you need them the most they are nowhere to be found. Unfortunately, we learned this truth the hard way. But we're better because of it. We've gained and lost friends along the way, but there have been those few who have been there with us for a long time. Granted we don't get to see them that often, but they have still been there. We are thankful for those people; you know who you are.

Good things come to those who do wait: And they happen in His time, not ours. Right after Kelly graduated, we found ourselves unsure of what road was next. It was a very trying and unsettling time for us, but now things are good. Really good. That doesn't mean though we still need God, because we do.

Get angry: You would be amazed how easy it is to bottle those emotions up. Sometimes a healthy session of venting is ok. Cry out; to God, a friend, someone you trust. We too, like most of these lessons, learned this the hard way. Often times we would both be so angry or frustrated with the circumstances and just blow up at each other for no reason. The moment we stopped running (or trying to run) from what we were angry and frustrated with, the easier it was to deal with it. It wasn't easy at first, but over time it did get easier. It just takes time.

Remember to have fun: Call your friends and plan random get-togethers, just for the sake of doing in. When we first got our new jobs, we would just work and work and work and work, but didn't leave a lot of room for play time. Now random get togethers, even if it's just the two of us, happen at least once a month. Don't misunderstand us; we love our jobs, but sometimes it's nice to just take a break and have fun!

Sometimes letting go is the only way to move forward: Actually, this is a direct quote from an episode of "Smallville".  But in all seriousness, we learned this the hard way: earlier in the year we had a falling out from a friend that we were friends with for a long time.  Normally we would have run back and tried to fix everything, but this time, we decided enough was enough.  And that's that.  I think we held on for so long, even though we knew things had gone wrong a while back, because we thought we could fix things.  But sometimes people don't want to be fixed, and you have to accept that and move on.  So we did.  Of course we still think about her and, as always, we wish the best for her.

The ones we lose never really leave us.  On our 23rd birthday, we learned that our grandpa had passed away.  We did somewhat see it coming, but it nevertheless still saddened us.  Still, to this day, we see things, hear things, say things, that remind us of him.  He is with us, always, and he is with Jesus and his family, and we can't be sad about that.

Forgiveness doesn't happen overnight.  We've had some pretty rough family issues this year, and it's safe to say that things will never be the same.  Things have gotten better, yes, but we are still working on the forgiving aspect.  We always will, I suppose.  Forgiveness takes time.

You have to make time for the things that are important to you.  Pretty self-explanatory.  But even if it's just for five minutes, take time for yourself.  In a culture that is so fast-paced, we ought to.

Goals for the next year:

Give back to God.  This is something that Holly has felt on her heart for a while now, and eventually you have to put it into action.  We'll see what happens, but God blesses those who give all to Him, including their finances.

Read.  We've both enjoyed reading for FUN this year.  Yes, an actual book.  We anticipate to do more reading in the new year.

Reach out.  It's amazing how quickly the time passes and it turns into months and months without hearing from friends and family.  Even though it's a lame excuse, we really do get caught up in our busyness.  We're hoping that our reaching out will inspire others to reach out to their own loved ones as well.

Jump in. Ever see someone do something/say something but they just keep waiting and waiting? Ever asked yourself "what am I waiting for?" Well....just do it! Don't wait; the opportunity may not come again.

Remember that we're not alone. And neither are you. God is with us, and you, and so are so many others out there. Call upon Him, your family or your friends if you're hurting or struggling. We are going to do our best to do the same.

It's been an up and down year, 2013 has. Let's all do our best in making 2014 a little bit better!

You jump. How high?

Kelly: This has been a topic of conversation between us for quite some time now. We all know that one person who always seems to be out and about doing things with friends. And we have heard multiple times the "I'm tired and don't want to go out tonight" line. Yet later on in the night a text or phone call comes in, then it's the "Well I'm off. See you later tonight" line. And then, there's the "well my friends are having this party. You can come if you want to but there's going to be things there that you probably won't be interested in." When I was in Scotland I had one roommate actually tell me "I know you're going to say no but I wanted to ask..." Uh...thanks? Hands up, who's heard any or all of the above statements?

I don't know, maybe I'm just a stick. I consider myself to be somewhat of a social person, but sometimes I tend to lean on the introverted side. I like hanging out with my friends just as much as the average young adult, but I also like having my me time. I'm a BIG fan of quiet nights in, especially after a few rough nights of work. But the way I see it is this; the social world is constantly evolving and frankly, it's not going anywhere anytime soon. And it's not that I do anything "fun" at all, but my type of fun usually means staying in, watching a movie or reading a book (something I did not have the pleasure of doing while in school. One of the MANY benefits of only working part time). Maybe people think they're a bad friend if they turn down an invitation; I used to think that way with my best friend at home. But sometimes, I feel it's really necessary to just say no. It really is ok.

Holly: Personally, I think if you want to have a quiet night in, then you should have a quiet night in.  If your friends invite you somewhere and you say no, and they get upset, then that's their problem.  Don't get me wrong; I love my friends to death, but more often than not I am much more inclined to spend the night to myself reading, watching Big Bang Theory, etc.  Why do we sometimes feel the need to drop everything and do something even though deep down, we REALLY don't want to?  I'm guilty of that, big time.  I sometimes have a hard time saying no.  Mostly because I'm just trying to help out.  But I think you should "go out" or help out when YOU want to because you want to, not because you feel like you have to.  It really is ok to say no sometimes.  I know many of you are just go go go all the time (myself included).  I don't think anyone is going to fault you for wanting to take some time to yourself, heaven forbid.

Heck, even Jesus took time for himself.  There are numerous instances in the Bible when he would go off by himself just to be by himself and pray.  We NEED alone time.  Seriously.  I think if us single (and not!) young adults learn to be independent, we can thrive in our day-to-day relationships with others.  Or we can just learn how to breathe!!! 

I'm rambling.  My apologies.  Take some time for yourself this weekend, even if it's just a few minutes.  And if we do jump at opportunities, let's try to ask ourselves why.  

30 Days of Writing: Things you like and dislike about yourself

Holly: Dislikes:
~my incessant need to fit in. This usually means butting into other people's conversations. I'm 23, for crying out loud.  Sometimes it's ok to just be by yourself.
~my tendency to blurt out whatever I'm saying instead of thinking things through
~my sometimes-impulsive spending
~crying out in desperation to God only when things go wrong or when I really want something, instead of daily conversations with Him when things are BOTH good and bad
~my need to fill in awkward silences.  Silence is ok sometimes.
~my road rage
~I don't read enough.  Period.  I need to, and I'm working on it.
~trying to "fix" things whenever my friends or someone I love is upset or hurting or otherwise in some sort of trouble.  Just listening is usually all they need.
~unrealistic happiness...that is, not recognizing that sometimes I can be sad, or pissed off. I am terrible at showing my emotions.

Likes:
~I'm always on time or early
~I generally have a good disposition and outlook on life.  I'm bubbly by nature and like being happy
~I love to laugh and do it often
~my relationship with God.  Yeah, it's been up and down a lot, but a lot of things in my life have threatened my faith and I think I've come out stronger because of it
~my motivation and determination.  It's rare that I give up.
~my modesty.  I hate being the center of attention.
~my love for people.  I love people so much it hurts sometimes.
~(I think??) I'm a good friend.  I don't judge because I'm in no position to do so.
~I've almost always been happy with the way I look, never really gave in to peer pressure or any of that.  I was the model child and teenager, never did the whole rebellion thing.  I was a good kid.  I still am.  I'd much rather stay in than go out.

Kelly: 

Dislikes:
~When I'm not confident in something, I act silly and stupid.
~I've developed the habit of stress eating. Not good, boo boo. Not good.
~I often avoid conflict as much as I can. I hate getting involved in confrontations if I know they're going to get ugly. Working on this, as in my future career I may have this happen to me...
~I ugly cry. For real.
~I get really REALLY hard on myself when I make a mistake.

Likes:
~I am probably one of the biggest people person ever! I love helping people when I can.
~I've managed to continue my healthy habits with continued improvement and overall healthiness! And the fact that they're so simple!
~That I'm a Christian and God loves me for me!
~I'm a very punctual person. I HATE being late! This is the girl talking who left an hour and 20 minutes before a job interview (good thing I did! 2 wrong turns and unfamiliar traffic took me an hour!)
~Along with being a people person I'm very compassionate. My heart breaks for those who are hurting and are less fortunate than me (this includes animals too).
~I'm very upfront with how I'm feeling. If I'm angry, I say so. If I'm sad, I say so. I don't like boxing up my emotions and trying to cover them up. Some people are very comfortable with doing that. I'm not one of those people.
~My music/movie interests are sooooooooooooo varied! I have everything on my iPod from CCM to Queen to Instrumental. Movie wise? One day I'm interested in a sappy rom-com while the next day I'm screaming for some Iron Man or Batman Begins. You should see my DVD Collection.
~I'm very open minded. Always have been.

30 Days of Writing: Something you miss

Holly: Being a kid.  That's why I act silly a lot.  I love watching children: their innocence, their views on life, their lack of inhibitions.  I love being silly in front of kids because I know they won't judge me.  I miss not having to be responsible for me sometimes...sometimes I wish my mom and dad could go back to making all my decisions for me, taking care of me, etc.  I especially love kids in church because their answer for everything is always an overly enthusiastic "JESUS!!!".  We all learn something from kids.  Kids always make me smile and laugh; I'm constantly entertained by them.  I think the world would honestly be a better place sometimes if we just acted a little child-like every now and then.

Kelly: Raven. I miss her. Almost three years ago, she had to be put to sleep at 11 years old. She was in our lives starting at 8 years old. She came from a broken home; abused, malnourished and terrified of people. But little by little she gained our trust and won our hearts! I think about her a lot; not as often as I used to but I still do. I hope she's enjoying Jesus's company and playing with the other puppy dogs up there in Heaven. I remember growing up with her, and her being the quiet force of the house, a shoulder to lean on or cry on, or a pillow to lie on. I remember running around in the yard with her, throwing the ball and her barking with the ball in her mouth...that was the funniest thing I've ever seen a dog do! She was a good girl, and I bet if she were human she'd be a lot like us.

Raven. :) 

30 Days of Writing: A problem you have had

Holly: It's one I'm still working on, and probably always will, but impulsive spending.  I can't pass up a good deal, like many red-blooded Americans, and I LOVE shopping.  I have gotten a lot better at controlling myself and saying no, but sometimes I can get a little carried away.  I know back when I was a freshman at Berea, before I went on direct deposit, my paychecks went right into my pocket and were gone in less than 2 weeks.

They say money is the root of all evil.  I disagree.  Money is a fundamental necessity, and it is useful when used wisely, and as long as you are bringing in more than you are taking out.  However, people abuse money, and that's when it becomes evil.  I also think the LOVE of money is evil: that is, trying to aspire wealth, things, possessions, instead of intangible things.  I know I've done my fair share of money abusing and money-loving.  Something I'm trying to work on is whenever I bring home something new, I try to take something out so that there's some kind of a balance. Something I also do is sometimes when I go out I leave my debit card at home on purpose so I'm not tempted.  ALWAYS set a budget.  Like I said, I'm getting better, but I know I still have a long way to go.

Kelly: As you all know, I am a very bubbly person by nature. However, sometimes my bubbly nature gets a bit too out of hand...this happened a lot when I was in clinicals while in nursing school. There were several occasions in which I was gently reminded to "tone it down." Not that my personality is a bad thing, but in the past there have been some that interpret being too "silly" as not being confident or not knowing what you're doing. I can understand that. Sometimes...it's also not very professional, let's be honest.

Now I don't want anyone attacking my educators with pitchforks saying "YOU'RE MAKING PEOPLE CHANGE THE WAY THEY ARE!" No. That's not the case at all. The issue was that in my world there has to be a balance between being professional and acting like a goober...which I do 99.9% of the time when the situation is right, of course. Also, in the profession I'm in (mental health) being too friendly can sometimes be threatening to patients. So yes, it is something I'm working on, but in the meantime I'll keep on keeping on. :) 

30 Days of Writing: Something you're proud of

Kelly: In light of recent events, today's topic is highly appropriate. There are a lot of things that I am proud of, but what I'm going to talk about today is simple; my college degree.

To obtain a college degree is an excellent achievement, of course. However, obtaining a Berea College degree in my opinion is much more...different, for lack of a better word. I was blessed to have worked with wonderful educators who helped me get this degree. Some I knew for quite a while, some I only had one semester. Yeah...about that. One of the most influential professors I had I had my second to last semester, for just one class (you know who you are...). Others I had for the majority of my time here and were just THERE. If I needed them, they were in their office; I didn't have to channel jump through a plethora of graduate students just to find them! That's why Berea is what it is! Thank you God and for everyone He put in my life to get me through! ^_^ 

Holly: I'm proud of two things, really: first, and obvious, is my degree from Berea.  I know, I know, that's what EVERYONE says.  But seriously, I don't think many people realize just how big of a deal it is graduating from college, much less Berea College.  I put a lot of work into it, I have a lot of fond memories attached to Berea, I've formed some lifelong relationships as a result of my education there, I've become a more educated and well-rounded individual and young woman, and my faith in God strengthened and was pushed and challenged as well (which, trust me, is NOT a bad thing). 

The second thing I'm proud of is that, for the most part, I have succeeded in living on my own and holding my own.  Yeah, there's been some scary moments, there's been some moments in which we weren't sure how we were going to pay next month's rent, there's been a lot of phone calls to Mom and Dad, there's been A LOT of penny-pinching (there still is), but when I look back I am proud of where we were and how far we've come.  I've also learned, in these days of apartment-dwelling and semi-tight budgeting to become dependent on God.  Completely dependent!!! He's brought us through and I know He will continue to do so! :)

Car Talk

Kelly: Today Holly and I were talking about this past week and what has gone on. These conversations occurred driving home from church as we headed out to dog sit for a couple from church who were out of town this weekend. Anyway, this past week has had a few bumps for me. On Tuesday as I was heading out the door to church choir, I received a phone call I was not expecting. To make a long story short, because of some nursing skills I had failed to not complete yet (the day I originally intended to complete them I was sick. Boo), I was pulled out of clinicals until I completed them. (I'm completing them this week and will be returning on site this Thursday.) Anyway, this news upset me. I became angry, threw my phone, said a few choice words, cried a little, but still went to church choir like nothing happened. Prayed a lot to God that night, cried myself to sleep that night, was questioning why this was happening. I woke up Wednesday morning, eyes sore and not ready to face what was coming. But by the end of the day, my mindset had completely changed. Funny how that works, isn't it?

As I continue my walk with the Lord, one of my hang-ups I'm still trying to work on is control. I tend to let myself get out of control when things...don't really go as planned. I was talking to Holly about this regarding what happened Tuesday evening. I told her now that that has happened I realized that now I acted and said things that did not reflect that God is in control. Yet I have the audacity to claim that I follow a God who controls my life and everything about it, yet I let myself go out of control when something I wasn't expecting happens. Then I think....well I shouldn't have done that or said what I did. Smack. But as we continued to talk, we both came to a realization. These things happen. A few bumps are going to happen. God allows these things to happen and it's up to us to figure out what to do. He gives us the freedom to choose whether or not to scream, cry, throw things or to lift up our hands and say "God, take it. I'm giving it to you because I don't want to depend on anyone but you." I'll admit; sometimes it's hard to make that choice because I think in the moment we WANT to be angry, hurt, frustrated, upset, or sad. And I'm not saying that's bad. But I think that if we continue to let those feelings grow and hold them in, then that becomes bad.

I'll close with this; today Pastor Kevin talked about the two greatest commandments in the Bible (Matthew 22:37-40 for an FYI). We are to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves. Something that he said....just put everything into a new lens to look at. "You can fail at your education. You can fail at your business. You can fail at your financial goals. But if you love God with all that you are and love your neighbor as yourself, then you have done what you have been called on Earth to do." Or something close to that. All I can say is sometimes things happen that we don't expect. But if we claim to carry the name Christ, we can't let the love and joy He's given us ruin that! It's something I'm trying to work on. Challenge accepted.

Holly: One of the big questions that was asked was "Do you ever feel like a failure?"  I think,  without even hesitating, Kelly and I answered "Yes".  Because, from the outside looking in, I'm not accomplishing much with my life.  I'm almost a year out of graduating from Berea.  The longest I've held a job (to date) is six months.  Since losing that job I have yet to find another job that has anything to do with my major (Biology, for those of you living under a rock).  That was in November of 2012.  It is now almost March of 2013.  So what am I doing now? I work at Old Navy.  I'm lucky to get three shifts a week.  Yep, this Biology major graduate from Berea College is working in retail.  Folks, I have to admit that in more instances than I care to admit, sometimes I drive up and I wonder aloud "What in the WORLD am I doing?  Why am I doing this with my life?  How has my life ended up in this way?"

But there is so much more to life than this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And today reminded me of that.

Honestly, my life have gone in directions that I couldn't have even anticipated, and yet, I finally feel like things are coming together.  I sincerely do my best to share love with others; be accepting instead of refuting, laughing with my co-workers who come from such different walks of life than I do, offering a smile to a stranger.  And God has been way too good to me to not love Him!  It's God.  It's all God!  And I'm doing my best to have faith in Him and to trust in Him despite my circumstances.  I'm not saying that all days are cake, but it definitely does change my perspective on the way I view hardships and things that come my way.

I know some of you out there are questioning as to whether your life has meaning, purpose.  Let me close with this: Toward the end of the message this morning, Kevin said that you are either good soil or bad soil; meaning: Has your walk with Christ changed because of someone you know, and vice versa?  Please know that I GUARANTEE that you have influenced my life in one way or another, and I just wanted to say thank you.  I sincerely pray that I will influence someone's life just by me being in it.  It's time for our society to be selfLESS, not selfISH.  :)

Home

Holly: Throughout my life my perceptions of things have changed.  Chalk it up to growing up, I suppose.  One of these things that have changed is my concept of home.  What is "home"?  What does it mean to be "home"?  Is it a place, people, or something even more than that?

As many of you know, Kelly and I moved to Berea in May of this year.  We spent a lot of our time here, college-related time, and we felt like Berea was the place we were supposed to be.  Considering the large amount of our time here Berea felt more like our home than our grassroots of southeastern Ohio.  Now, PLEASE do not misunderstand me.  I love my hometown.  I love that I was able to grow up there, and I love my family and best friend more than anything.  But when I would go home for holidays or breaks or whatnot, things just felt so....foreign.  Different.  I felt out of place, like I had missed so much from Athens and from my folks and best friend.  It just wasn't the same place anymore.  I wasn't the same person.  Because I had grown so used to cozy Berea, my school, and my church, it was strange to be away from that, even though I had spent the first 18 years of my life in this place.  Now, when I say I'm going home, it means I'm going to my 2-bedroom apartment in Berea.

But home for me is a lot more than just a place.  When my parents come to visit, that's home.  When I talk to my best friend on the phone, that's home.  When my cats come downstairs when I come in the door from work, that's home.  Home is watching an episode of Sherlock in the living room with Kelly and exclaiming in excitement how I picked something up that I had never noticed before.  Home is a cup of the flavor of the day at BC&T.  Home is opening your window and sensing that fall "smell" and feeling the breeze blow into your space.  Home is singing as loud as you can to that song on the radio when you're stuck at a red light.  Home is hugging that one friend you haven't seen in ages.

Take time to notice the "home" in your life, whether it's a place or not.

Kelly: On our daily walk tonight, I was talking to Holly that a lot of college students move back to where they came from after they graduate. Our brother did this. I have lots of friends who did this/are doing this. I was talking to Holly that this didn't even cross my mind after I graduated. Then she said to me: "I already moved back home. I moved here." Didn't really think about it that way. I remember being a first year student wondering how I would get used to this place called Berea, Kentucky. Now I can't imagine being apart from it. To be honest though, my perspective on home is a bit different than Holly's. Sometimes I sit and ask God how He picked here for me to be. How did He get me to fall in love with a place like Berea? Then it hit me.

To me, home in many cases is more the people than a place or a thing. I think people largely make a home a home. And for me, my Berea home and my attraction to it is largely where I go to church every Sunday. I see it as a home despite the division and sometimes negativity that has been seen/heard/read in a survey. Despite the fact that I read a comment that basically said college students can either just deal with the changes or shove off, it's still a home to me. Because in a home, you notice there are flaws, yet you don't define it by the few flaws. Positive memories and faces trump any negative comment in my book. When I think of a home, I think of family. A family. People who love one another, encourage one another, support one another and pray for one another. They don't hold grudges, or judge, belittle, or put down...not that anybody in my immediately family or my close friends do that. But families don't do that, or at least they shouldn't. That's why I love my church; it treats me like a family. Every Sunday (and Tuesday night) I am welcomed with open arms and loved by so many.

I'll close with this: on the way out of church today I got a comment from my pastor today saying how much he appreciated how Holly and I have openly loved his family. I was stricken mute by my overwhelming joy that I totally forgot to say I only give such love because I myself have been given the exact same love by not only his family but so many others at BBC. I am blessed to have that church as my family. And my home.

Miss Independent?

Kelly: On Thursday, as on typical Berea Thursdays, I attended the opening convocation of the semester. As a tradition, the President opens. Well, ever since July, the college has had a new President. Dr. Roelof's convo was AWESOME. It was simply titled "Why Berea?" As I was listening and after it was over, it gave me the opportunity to reflect on why I went to Berea. I would need like a zillion blog posts to answer that question, but for the content of tonight's blog I'm going to focus on one key part of why I went to Berea. Simple; when I first thought about coming all I wanted to do was be more independent. I WANTED to be away from home, just to experience it. And it did. Berea has taught me independence and then some. Ever since May, I have really had to hone in on those independence skills.

As you all know, Holly and I have had our own place since May. The wonderful times have lapped the somewhat stressful, but at times it has not been easy. We have had our share of struggles and have wondered how we're going to make it till next month at times. But for the most part, things have been really good. Only by the grace of God in my opinion. Anyway, Berea basically gave me a job and my own dorm and said "here's a roof over your head. Here's a job. Here's a full course load. Manage your time, manage your money and don't get kicked out. And we'll give you a good education." Wow. Honestly, a pretty good trade off if you ask me. And ever since we've had issues around our place, we've been the ones to take care of them, well, because we have to. Otherwise they won't get resolved. Yeah being on my own has been awesome but there is no more hand holding. So I will close with this; to those of you who are thinking about moving out and being on your own...think about it at first. REALLY think about it. Where Holly and I are now took MONTHS of careful planning. Also, be willing to make those financial sacrifices, because my goodness they WILL happen. And don't rush! It may sound like a good idea in your head, but don't wait until it's too late before you realize that you're not going to be able to handle it. But remember; decisions like this are never easy. And Holly and I realize we are not alone, which has made this so much more easier to handle.

Holly: Yeah...the months of planning, that's not an exaggeration, either.  I think it was back in November of 2011 that we started looking at places.  We were calling places by February.  In making a big step such as moving out of your parent's house, if you want it, you have to want it bad enough to take the initiative and put in the work and effort.  Going back on the subject of Berea, I also learned that if you want to leave something there, if you want to make something of yourself there, you also have to do just that: take the initiative and put in the work and effort.

Dr. Roelof's convo, in the grand scheme of things, honestly really didn't apply to me, but I walked away inspired and challenged as well.  What Berea taught me in terms of being independent and having pride in my work has really shaped me into propelling forward as an adult.  There really is no room for hand holding.  If things go screwy, Mommy and Daddy can't bail you out.  Sometimes I still struggle with that.  But at the same time, Mommy and Daddy aren't watching your every move.  If you want to go on a shopping spree, then by all means.  If you want to sleep until noon every day, more power to you.  If you want to go 3 weeks without doing laundry........well, ok?  Anyway, being on your own literally means being on your own.  You have the power to make decisions...

But I must also add, being on your own does give you the power to make decisions, but please exercise caution, because it is a GREAT deal of power and responsibility.  Proceed with caution.  It can be toxic, and a lot of things can go wrong very quickly.  You are responsible for you now.  Remember that if you're borderlining about taking the leap into independence.