Things we learned in March

Holly and Kelly: March was a busy and somewhat slow month for us. Here's what we learned.

Sometimes, you have to say no: even if it's to an old friend who wants to re open the lines of communication. We had to say no; it wasn't even an option. It wasn't worth the risk of possibly things being ok for a while, then back to the same old stuff. You get to a point in your life where you are free to make those decisions, and we lived with the consequences of said choice for too long. We are both at points in our lives where we made peace with the situation and have moved on. Neither of us have heard from this friend since, which says to us our point exactly.

Priorities change: We've put our relationship with each other on the back burners, and are now going to be taking the time to spend time with each other in prayer and devotionals. Over the last few weeks we have done this, it has been astounding to hear about what God is doing in each of our lives. It's been extremely beneficial to the both of us!

Time away is essential: Even if it's just for a few days. The time we were able to spend in Florida was....amazing. Seeing the sunrise on the beach...it was just one of those moments that make you realize how much of a masterpiece artist God is. Neither one of us thought about obligations we had at home, whether at work, things to do in the house, whatever. Take some time to just get out of work for a while; you will be amazed at how much better you feel. 

 God is working: In Kentucky, people! Over the past few months, but more regularly this month, we've been visiting another church with Holly's bf and some friends of ours. We're NOT leaving our current church anytime soon, but it's been super amazing to see the body of Christ working elsewhere in Madison county. He's doing some great things in His body, people, and it has been a privilege to see that work come to life. Also, we had the opportunity to sing with a church from London in a combined service for Easter. It was a long day, but full of blessings to celebrate our risen Lord. (There's a link at the bottom of the page for your viewing pleasure. Buckle up though...it's an hour and ten minutes long...)

Basketball....nah: We suck at basketball. Really, REALLY, suck. There's a reason God called us to work at Grow Appalachia and to be a nurse and to NOT be professional basketball players. Thank God! 


Easter program
Basketball part 1
Basketball part 2 (Kelly's shame)

It all goes to the bad...

Kelly: Have you ever noticed that when someone acts up, throws a fit, gets angry and starts swinging some fists, or when someone talks just to "make a scene," that everyone LOSES THEIR MINDS? Now what do I mean by LOSING THEIR MINDS? They validate it, affirm it, and a slew of "right on's!" and "yeah!" and "you tell them!" are certain to follow. Especially where I work; negative and crappy attitudes just feed one right into the other. One bad and crappy attitude can run the show, and everyone just eats it up. Or when something happens that makes you angry/frustrated, and you dwell on it, and dwell on it, and dwell on it....over, and over, and over. And THEN....on the flip side of that, when like me, I show up, act like my happy-go-lucky self, it arouses suspicion. Like....why are you being so nice? Stop that.

So is that just me? Anyone? 

But sometimes, negativity really REALLY affects me, to the point to where I feel it, deep down in my core and I have to physically remove myself from the person or situation. It's honestly one of the most baffling phenomenons I still to this day experience. I don't get it. Can't wrap my head around it. It just makes me wonder, why do we put so much attention to crappy attitudes or rip roaring rage fests? And admit it....we all do it. It's splattered all over social media day after day after day, demanding our attention. It's human nature, I guess, but still. And I do it too, all the time. God has really been challenging me to focus on the nature of my heart, instead of what's swirling around in my head and the words I say. It hasn't been easy, because sometimes we just want to go with the flow of things, even if it means going with the flow of a toxic environment.

I was talking to my dad last night, and he said he was really inspired by how Holly and I handle things. We were just in Florida not too long ago, and some things happened and we ended up going in the wrong direction on the way to the airport. And I just...rolled with it, even though my nerves were frayed. Eventually, I let it go; I had no control over it. Let me tell you, it makes a difference, and I'm going to level with you all, I just really try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Stuff happens. I get it. We're all wired differently. But the sooner you just let the crap go and focus on things/feelings/stuff that's more worthy of our beck and call, you will be amazed at how....smoothly things just seem to go.

Holly: I'm with my sis on this one. I don't get it either. 

Something Kelly says often, and I'm fairly certain she got it from her work, is "You are responsible for the way that you act, no matter how you feel." I am a generally upbeat person by nature, and I try not to let things get to me. But when I'm exposed to constant negativity, it really does seep into me.  It's toxic! That's the way it was with an old friendship of ours, there towards the end; I'd just get in a funk or in a sour mood afterwards, just because I just had all this negative junk unloaded on me. I never understood, and still don't understand, how you can let one little thing get to you. 

Yes, we are wired differently. I get that, and I try to be mindful of that. But how about instead of reinforcing negative behavior or actions, we reinforce positive behavior or actions? The way I see it is that there's WAY too much negativity in the world as it is. And I'm certainly not saying be a ray of sunshine all the time. I get frustrated and disappointed all the time. But you can try- you can at least try to put a positive spin on things. In fact, I encourage you to try it. I think you'll be surprised.

I want to close with something unrelated, per Kelly's recommendation: I shared something on my Facebook page earlier today and I hope that you are encouraged by it. Because the truth is that God does love us and He does know our deepest desires, and He cherishes us and wants the best for us.

Look to God. He can take it. Choose joy. Be encouraging.

God does answer prayer. I definitely believe that. But sometimes, His answer is "No."
I was dealt the reality of that just this week.

Sometimes we are so convinced that when we receive something, it's from God. And while it very well may be, at least in my own situation, things didn't go as I'd hoped, and at the end of it I was left very broken and hurt. As I did some devotional reading this week, I realized that when God told me "No" in this particular situation, it was because He was preparing me for something better. We don't often see it that way in the moment, because we're in the midst of pain and inner turmoil, but when we are able to look back and recognize that God truly does desire the absolute best for us...it's a relief, almost.

God is good!

H and K (and parents) visit the Sunshine State!

Holly and Kelly: This past weekend sis and I were in Florida for some baseball games and a day at the beach. It was the first time the two of us have seen the ocean since 2009, and let me tell you, when you spend every summer at the beach for as long as you can remember and then go 7 years in between without, it's a long time. We left Friday afternoon and flew out of Louisville into Atlanta then into West Palm Beach where we didn't get to our hotel until after 1 in the morning. Dad picked us up and we all just crashed once we got to the hotel. Saturday morning was spent sipping coffee by the pool, then we gallivanted a few miles up the road to watch the first of two spring training baseball games. Dad's a big Cardinals fan (don't hate) and the tickets came at a really good price, considering it was major league baseball. The weather was absolutely gorgeous too! A bit warm, yes, but there was a time where the clouds got in the way, so we all weren't sitting under the sun for the entire duration of the game. It was nice.  Very nice.

After the first game we ventured off to a small beach and found quite a few shells, and sis and I have a project planned for the shells we did find, so stay tuned for that! We had 3 nights of fantastic food, and I mean fantastic! The best food night was Monday night, where the two of us shared a pasta with mussels, scallops, calamari, shrimp and some kind of fish. We DESTROYED it! I (Kelly) put a pic of it on Facebook, and I'm sure I will gross a few people out. But you want to know what the best thing was? Family time. There's nothing like it. At the second baseball game, Holly was seated next to a family where a younger girl, in her words, was being a brat. She was whining, complaining, glaring at her parents and making rude remarks to her younger sibling. I wish I would have had the chance to tell her to enjoy the moments now, because when she gets to become our age and moves away from her family, you will die for just one more day. Sis and I see our parents on a good year six times, typically it's less than that, usually 4 or 5. We were talking about that one time, how when we were growing up and even in the first few years of college each time we visited we couldn't wait to get back to Berea. But like I said, what I wouldn't have gotten for just one more day at the beach.

Tuesday morning sunrise 

Family selfie! 

Things we learned in February

Holly and Kelly: This was an interesting month for us. A lot of growth occurred, and our lessons were few but simple.

Bigger and "more" isn't always best: I (Kelly) had an opportunity come up to apply for a better paying job (still where I work now), with full time hours and weekends off. The catch was it was working with a patient population I really don't care for. After deliberating and deliberating, I decided not to move forward with applying for it and being ok with where I still am. Because I still am ok where I am.

The start of something new: I (Holly) am still new in my recently not being single, and I have learned so much about myself as a partner and what that may look like in the months/years to come. Who knows? God does. I've also learned a lot about who God is and who I am and it's been a very humbling journey.

Good company is easy to come by: We were at Winter Jam and just had a rocking awesome time. The crowd waiting in line was insanely huge, but there will no ill tempers; just a bunch of Jesus loving folks gathering to hear some praise and worship music.

It's ok to just binge: on TV. Case and point; we have THOROUGHLY enjoyed re-watching House of Cards over the past month or so and some change. It's just fun.

Mom visits are still the best: Even when you're 25 years old.

That's all for now. We're about to get ready for our trip to Florida where baseball and a day of beach will be awaiting us this upcoming weekend!!!!

Identities and labels

Kelly: Who am I? Who are you? First things first, but not necessarily in that order. I identify as a Christian, first off. I'm a nurse, a friend, sister, daughter, among others. I don't have a "someone" in my life, so I don't have any sort of identification as a "girlfriend" or "fiance" or "spouse..." yet.

And I'm ok with that.

It took me a long LONG time to actually accept that right now, it's not for me. A relationship is something that God doesn't want me to pursue right now. I've taken it that He's just not ready to share me yet. And like I said, I'm ok with that. Just because I'm not somebody's girlfriend/fiance/spouse yet doesn't mean the world is going to end tomorrow. I really am ok. My identity as a Christian/single person/nurse/whatever is not something that needs to be fixed, or is something I have any intention of fixing anytime soon. Yes, we have various identities and labels that have been given to us, most of them given to us by choice. But you know? That doesn't mean that we have to carry them around every single moment of every day. And at the end of the day, in the eyes of the Creator, there's only one identity that matters; His child. Because that's the way He sees you! And me. And it's not a one size fits all approach. I've had people tell me "oh, you're a nurse" with THAT kind of tone? Know what I mean? It's almost condescending in a way. Or when I say I'm not married, it sometimes precedes that "oh...." Again, know what I mean? Ok, so the point to all of this is this; we're all not robots. God didn't make us all the same; He did that for a reason! Our identities are sometimes given to us, but it's up to us and to Him to discover more that we may come across.

Holly: I could be completely wrong, and I apologize if I am. But this is just what I've observed, mostly on Facebook, which...ya know.  I'll get to that a little later.

I think there are a lot of people, primarily our age, who simply have no idea how to function as an individual. Seriously. They always have to have someone, a significant other, jumping from one relationship into the next just so they don't have to be alone. Or the stuff I read on Facebook...it's "my boyfriend/husband this" "my girlfriend/wife that".  What about YOU? What about YOU- as a woman, as someone who makes people laugh, a brother, friend, YOU? You. As a person? YOU, the things that make you you?

As a Christian, our identities should first and foremost be found in Christ. But I think, especially with a lot of married people, it's easy to make their spouse an idol. Or their children. Or, if you're not married, maybe an addiction. Or your boyfriend/girlfriend. You get the idea. I believe that when Christ is at the center, He brings out all of our other "hats" naturally, because everything we do ought to be in glory to Him.

As someone who has, rather recently, become unsingle, I'm trying to remain intentional on preserving my individuality. My boyfriend does not complete me, and I don't want to be with him just because he makes me happy or fills me with the warm fuzzies. We made a conscious decision, basically on Day 1, to do our best to keep God at the center of our relationship, and to continue doing the things that make us us. And you know what? It's not hard. Really. Although he does give really good hugs...:) Ok, I sort of feel like I'm rambling and going all over the place, but the point I'm trying to make is that God made you to be uniquely you! Meaning: You don't need anyone or anything except Him! :)

P.S. I made a comment earlier about Facebook...Yes, I am unsingle. No, it's not "Facebook official", and yes, I'm keeping it mostly off social media, because, quite frankly, it drives me crazy to read status after status of how great someone's person is. It's not because I'm too good for social media, it's because I'm focusing on him, telling him what he means to me and not Facebook. The end. kthanxbai.

Things we learned in January

Holly and Kelly: So we stole this idea from a friend of ours. She has her own blog, Reflections in Writing, so you should check it out! Anyway, we have already completed one month in 2016 already (already??!!!) and we wanted to share some things we learned in this month.

Snow: it still stinks, but you have to do what you must. And that opportunity when you FINALLY get to get out of the house is glorious!!!!

God is working BIG: we've been attending church with some friends of ours, and the experience has been very rewarding for us. Though we have no intentions of leaving BBC anytime soon, it's just really awesome to see how God has been working in other parts of KY. The church is all Gods body, no matter where we end up going. 

Friend time is time well spent: even if it means late nights and little sleep. 

Take a chance: even if it's a small one. Kelly reconnected with a good friend after over a year of no contact, and as for Holly? Well, let's just say she's off the market now ;) 

Things we learned in January. What did you learn? 

Let's go to church!

Kelly: This is something that has been stirring around us just recently actually. And first and foremost, apologies for the lack of posts. 2016 has been off to a GREAT start, but new found friends, work, and other things have gotten in the way. Anyway, like I said, it's only been recently that this has stirred in us a desire to blog about this, but it's something I'm sure every church has experienced. Some call them not regular goers, I call them "Creasters," or those who only attend church on Christmas, Easter, one or the other or both. And then there's me. I am a member of one church by definition, another church I regularly attend doesn't necessarily believe in "members," and the third I attend twice a month on Saturday nights. Yes. I regularly attend 3 churches. Now some of you I'm sure are asking....well, why?

Because I want to.

Seriously. That's it. While it is a requirement of Christians to attend church and fellowship regularly with other believers, for me, it's a choice. It really is that simple; I want to. My needs are met each time at each church I attend and I get something new and exciting out of each one. I have connections to each one that I care very much about. And this isn't to say I have no intention of leaving the church I have called home for nearly 7 and a half years, no. Not at all! But it's really awesome and moving to see how God's people are working across Madison County; it's pretty incredible. Lives are being changed for Him!!!!! That's what's important. I'm not telling you about my 3 church attendance to brag, not at all. But this fact has had me thinking about the other end of the spectrum; those who for whatever reason used to go to church and have stopped going or "church hop," as I call it. They find a church, things go really well, and then they leave and the cycle repeats over and over. I'm still not sure why that happens, honestly. I think part of the reason is that for some reason someone feels ostracized or "bullied" is another word I think seems fit, and instead of just letting folks get absorbed in their...ostracized...ness? (ok....) that we as the church should be asking what led them away from their previous church and how we can make them feel welcome. Sometimes that may not always work, and it's incredibly frustrating. I've witnessed folks from my home church, regular attendees and who were very plugged in members, just up and leave suddenly. They've never come back. I'm not entirely sure they've been invited back. Why not? Those are the kind of questions we should be asking. And it's something that part of my churches have been asking and wondering ourselves.

So if you're reading this and haven't been to church in a while, why not? What's stopping you? If you're one of those "church hoppers," why do you leave from church to church? If you want someone to talk to, talk to me. I'd be happy to discuss and answer any questions you have about church. Because let me tell you, if it's the stereotypical "Christians" you see on the media or have experienced firsthand that you're deterred from, it's ok. I am too.

 Holly: Here's my thing on church: If you go to church, and then leave because YOUR needs aren't being met, because YOU'RE not getting fed, then I think you've completely missed the point. It's not about you.  It's about God!

I believe that attending church, regularly, is not only crucial in a Christian walk, it's obedience to God. I believe that when we attend church, we are responding to His faithfulness to us.  We are giving back a portion of our time and spiritual gifts to Him- He doesn't give us those things just for us to keep to ourselves. Because of that, I think the other things (the ability to meet physical and emotional needs, elements of service to the community and congregation, and fellowship among members) are the results, or byproducts, if you will, of attending in the first place! And as for it being crucial: Man, it is so much easier for the enemy to attack us when we're just by ourselves. If we're surrounded with a network of strong, faithful believers who are investing in you, I think you're a much stronger adversary against the enemy. And let's face it; God designed us to be relational creatures. We're simply not made to go through life alone!

Sometimes,  and I've heard many conversations over the years, people leave church for just all the reasons we've mentioned. While I'm not going to sit here and tell you that you're wrong, I would just encourage those who might be in that boat to stop and think for a moment: God often puts us in situations that are outside of our comfort zone. God often uses difficult people or circumstances to teach us about grace and how we should react to those circumstances or treat those difficult people. Because, once again, it's not about you.

P.S. While writing this we've mused at just how much we miss this, this blogging thing, so we'll be back on a more frequent basis. God bless y'all! Thanks for reading! :)