It all goes to the bad...

Kelly: Have you ever noticed that when someone acts up, throws a fit, gets angry and starts swinging some fists, or when someone talks just to "make a scene," that everyone LOSES THEIR MINDS? Now what do I mean by LOSING THEIR MINDS? They validate it, affirm it, and a slew of "right on's!" and "yeah!" and "you tell them!" are certain to follow. Especially where I work; negative and crappy attitudes just feed one right into the other. One bad and crappy attitude can run the show, and everyone just eats it up. Or when something happens that makes you angry/frustrated, and you dwell on it, and dwell on it, and dwell on it....over, and over, and over. And THEN....on the flip side of that, when like me, I show up, act like my happy-go-lucky self, it arouses suspicion. Like....why are you being so nice? Stop that.

So is that just me? Anyone? 

But sometimes, negativity really REALLY affects me, to the point to where I feel it, deep down in my core and I have to physically remove myself from the person or situation. It's honestly one of the most baffling phenomenons I still to this day experience. I don't get it. Can't wrap my head around it. It just makes me wonder, why do we put so much attention to crappy attitudes or rip roaring rage fests? And admit it....we all do it. It's splattered all over social media day after day after day, demanding our attention. It's human nature, I guess, but still. And I do it too, all the time. God has really been challenging me to focus on the nature of my heart, instead of what's swirling around in my head and the words I say. It hasn't been easy, because sometimes we just want to go with the flow of things, even if it means going with the flow of a toxic environment.

I was talking to my dad last night, and he said he was really inspired by how Holly and I handle things. We were just in Florida not too long ago, and some things happened and we ended up going in the wrong direction on the way to the airport. And I just...rolled with it, even though my nerves were frayed. Eventually, I let it go; I had no control over it. Let me tell you, it makes a difference, and I'm going to level with you all, I just really try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Stuff happens. I get it. We're all wired differently. But the sooner you just let the crap go and focus on things/feelings/stuff that's more worthy of our beck and call, you will be amazed at how....smoothly things just seem to go.

Holly: I'm with my sis on this one. I don't get it either. 

Something Kelly says often, and I'm fairly certain she got it from her work, is "You are responsible for the way that you act, no matter how you feel." I am a generally upbeat person by nature, and I try not to let things get to me. But when I'm exposed to constant negativity, it really does seep into me.  It's toxic! That's the way it was with an old friendship of ours, there towards the end; I'd just get in a funk or in a sour mood afterwards, just because I just had all this negative junk unloaded on me. I never understood, and still don't understand, how you can let one little thing get to you. 

Yes, we are wired differently. I get that, and I try to be mindful of that. But how about instead of reinforcing negative behavior or actions, we reinforce positive behavior or actions? The way I see it is that there's WAY too much negativity in the world as it is. And I'm certainly not saying be a ray of sunshine all the time. I get frustrated and disappointed all the time. But you can try- you can at least try to put a positive spin on things. In fact, I encourage you to try it. I think you'll be surprised.

I want to close with something unrelated, per Kelly's recommendation: I shared something on my Facebook page earlier today and I hope that you are encouraged by it. Because the truth is that God does love us and He does know our deepest desires, and He cherishes us and wants the best for us.

Look to God. He can take it. Choose joy. Be encouraging.

God does answer prayer. I definitely believe that. But sometimes, His answer is "No."
I was dealt the reality of that just this week.

Sometimes we are so convinced that when we receive something, it's from God. And while it very well may be, at least in my own situation, things didn't go as I'd hoped, and at the end of it I was left very broken and hurt. As I did some devotional reading this week, I realized that when God told me "No" in this particular situation, it was because He was preparing me for something better. We don't often see it that way in the moment, because we're in the midst of pain and inner turmoil, but when we are able to look back and recognize that God truly does desire the absolute best for us...it's a relief, almost.

God is good!

"Please remain calm. This is a kindness!"

Kelly: I'm almost certain we have discussed this topic before, but to me it bears repeating. The main premise for this post is this; be nice to people. REALLY be nice. It can go a long way. Case and point; this afternoon. Holly and I went up to our favorite local coffee hangout to have lunch. It was really busy and it took a while for our food to come to us, but we waited patiently because it's worth it to us. :) Anyway, one of the baristas brought me the wrong sandwich. He realized the mistake after I gently pointed it out, apologized and then brought me the right one. He continued to apologize and I smiled and said it wasn't a problem....which it wasn't. They were busy and always provide wonderful and excellent service. When we got up to the register to pay, another barista said that I would not be charged for my lunch. I said I didn't mind to pay, but nope. Didn't let me pay. You know, it's the little things. Treat people right, don't expect anything in return and it'll come back to you. If you're intentionally being kind to others and expecting something, you're wasting your time.

Case and point; yesterday. Yesterday is typically one of my days off at work, but I'm off today and switched with a co worker. She's working for me today and I did for her yesterday. On Thursday I got asked to come in early and help out on another unit. I said sure. This person I worked with...notoriously has a bad attitude for reasons I'm not sure of, although yesterday wasn't too bad. There was one instance where I was reprimanded for...trying to be nice to a patient. I thought to myself, you know, I volunteered to come in early and help out. At the VERY least, a little bit of niceness and gratitude would have been appreciated. But look right there. I was expecting something. You see, it doesn't always work that way. Whatever happened to doing nice things for other people just to do nice things for other people? It's something I'm trying to work on, and I hope you all will do the same. My purpose on this planet isn't to make myself look and feel good, it's to glorify God in all I do.

Holly: 

Where the title comes from...if you have to ask, you'll never know.  Ok ok, it's a Doctor Who reference, fine! The series 8 premiere is tonight and the anticipation is driving me mad! ANYWAY...

The driving point for all of this, for me, is this: What Kelly said earlier: "Treat people right, don't expect anything in return, and it'll come back to you."  I challenge to take it a step further than that: Treat people right.  Period.  Let's face it, there is way too much negativity in the world.  I've been around the block for a while now and I've come across people who are just consistently in bad moods.  People who just seem to do nothing but bring others down, bring themselves down, bring the world down, just a big fat bunch of downers!  As someone who is the polar opposite of that, it is physically draining being around those types of people.  It really is!  For me, not being a downer is a choice.  Sure, there's plenty of things I could complain about.  There are day-to-day goings on of people around me that could tip me over the edge.  But that's not how it works for me.  Even something just as simple as a smile goes a long way.  I choose to be kind because, to me, no one deserves any less than that.  No one deserves to feel badly about themselves.  No one deserves to feel worthless or neglected.  Now, this doesn't go without saying that I do let my frustrations get the best of me sometimes.  But as God as my witness I will do my best to try not take it out on you, and that is a promise.  If you see otherwise, please let me know.  Please.

As someone who has been on the receiving end of random acts of kindness more instances than I could name, I feel like it's my duty, not just as a Christian but as a decent human being, to procure those same acts as well.  I'm still working on it.  The saying goes "Nice guys finish last."  I couldn't disagree with that more.  I once had a supervisor tell me I was too nice.  I told him thank you.  People aren't going to remember what you said to them or what you did for them; they're going to remember how you made them feel.  Kindness builds others up, plain and simple.  Imagine how the conflicts around the world would differ if those opposing just spoke kindly or acted kindly to one another.  I think it would, quite literally, change the world.  

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you. -Ephesians 4:32

The Singles Industry

Kelly: "You just know."

But really? Does any one person ever just "know?" If anyone who has ever been in my shoes and has heard that phrase, you feel the same way I do; it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Yes, we're talking about being single, more importantly single women. To me it seems that there are so many things that give me the impression that being single is a problem to be fixed. And you know what really gets me? There is so much media giving attention to singleness written/advertised by MARRIED women! Let me give you a few examples; blog posts written about being single (by married women), an advertisement on K-LOVE about Proverbs 31 ministries and most of the content of their message is geared towards married women. I'm going to be completely honest, those are the last things I want to see and hear about when it comes to singleness.

Not going to lie, I enjoy being single right now. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find "the one" and while my answer is yes, the truth is I'm not really in any hurry. I sincerely believe God will place the right person in my life and in the meantime I'm going to enjoy the ride. And for the record, I love spending time with my married friends and my friends who are in relationships (and none of them have done these things!) I've learned so much about being in a relationship from them and they are good models for me. I don't feel uncomfortable around them at all. I remember being in high school and sometimes my friends would try to hook me up with a guy they thought I would like, and my freshman year I actually caved and went along with a hook up. He was in 7th grade and had a crush on me since the beginning of time. Needless to say, it lasted about a week and I told him it wasn't him but it was everyone else calling the shots except me, and I had a problem with that. Of course he was crushed, but I did it for the best. Fast forward to 6 years later; I was a junior in college and this guy Facebook messaged me. I won't go into the nitty gritty details, but basically he wanted me back. Not joking. I ran from my dorm to Holly's and told her everything. Very few people know that story. The point is, it's ok to be single; enjoy it. Good grief I knew so many people who seemed to have a new relationship every week. It was exhausting. I don't have a "Mr. Right" in my life yet, but the tides seem to be changing, and I am open to that. So married friends; let your friends be single. Let them enjoy it. Be good examples of a good relationship.

Holly: I'm not going to lie, I harbor a bit of animosity towards the singles industry.  Let me explain: On Facebook or something, every now and then I'll come across an article, blog post, something of that nature, with a comment along the lines of "Shout out to all my single friends, this is for YOU!" And guess what? 9 times out of 10, it comes from someone WHO ISN'T SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Immediately tuned out.  Sorry, but that's just how it is.  If you're a single lady (or guy!!) and you post something like that, then I will be much more inclined to give you the time of day.  I'm sorry, but that's just how it is for me.  I know it's a bit brash.  But let me make a few points:

How about more articles, blog posts, etc, celebrating singleness? The fact that I am 24 years old and am able to keep a roof over my head, pay my bills on time, not starve to death, find a job I enjoy, ALL THE WHILE being comfortable in my own singleness is pretty applause-worthy to me.  Or anyone who is able to do all those things, for that matter.  Nope.  Instead, we are bombarded with "How to be the perfect wife", or advertisements for dating sites, Facebook friends jumping from one relationship to the next, and the list goes on.  Now please do not misunderstand me.  I envision myself getting married someday.  I'm going to be a bridesmaid next summer and I couldn't be more thrilled for my friend.  I would not be opposed to going on a date or two in the forseeable future.  But what's the hurry?  It seems like people are getting married younger and younger these days.  I feel like in today's society, if you hit your mid-20s and you're not married yet, then something's wrong with you.  I'll be 25 in about 8 months or so.  Is something wrong with me?  I certainly don't think so.  For now, I'm going to keep my options open...and continue enjoying my singleness.  Who's with me?

Like a Boss

Holly: Now, this post is nothing monumentally spectacular or anything going on in our lives, and it does seem kind of vain, posting about something as mundane as this, but hey, we like it, and maybe you all will to.

Yes, despite the never-ending busyness that seems to daily engulf Kelly and I, we have begun watching a new TV series (our favorite one ended back in May of 2011 and since then we've just lived on reruns of Whose Line is it Anyway and, even more recently, Frasier).  ANYWAY...

This show is simply called "Boss" and, although I'm not sure of the weekday it airs, it's on Starz at 10pm and it stars Kelsey Grammer (personal aside: I've always admired him as an actor, even if he does not have the best track record).  The show circulates around the professional and personal life of fictitious Chicago mayor Tom Kane, who's just been diagnosed with DLB (Dementia with Lewy Bodies).  Battling this new and degenerative disorder, he does his best to keep this from his assistants and his wife, with whom he has an unsettling relationship.  He also gets back in touch with his estranged daughter Emma, who is, to no surprise, reluctant to rekindle their relationship.  In addition to all of this, he's also brought in the former Treasurer of the state to run for governor against his former ally.

I'm two episodes in; there's 8 in the first season, and I'm hooked!  Although there's a decent amount of language, the storylines are powerful, intense, and the array of emotions is absolutely captivating!  So if you ever find yourself needing a good show, this is it.

Kelly:  Holly was telling me that you learn something about Emma in the second episode and I'm like DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING!!! She's one episode ahead of me; currently loading the second one as I type. I hope this time this will hold on for a little longer; we've had a pretty nasty track record of enjoying shows that only last for a short while (Improvaganza, Flash Forward, just to name a few...). But yeah, I am hooked as well! Ok, that's all in the world of us today. And as always, more madness will be sure to come later!

Random Post XYZ

Holly: Helllllllllllloooooooo everybody! *waves*  I hope that everyone is having a wonderful day/week/month/LIFE! :)

Things have been kind of insane lately.  To begin, I am sick.  Again.  With what, I'm not sure (doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon will hopefully shed some light on that), but it's either what I've been sick with for a while now, or something totally new.   Regardless, I began running a low-grade fever this afternoon and have been feeling craptastic since.  It must be bad because even when I went into work today to help out (I usually don't work on Wednesdays, but hey, labs don't prep themselves), my boss noticed I was off.  Definitely glad to notice others care about my well-being. 

But whatevs.  Life goes on.

Random tangent of happy news: next semester I might be TAing for a fun class! Stay tuned!! I'm really pumped about it!!!!! :D

Insanity bout numero dos: The previous week had me running about all like a chicken with its head cut off because of a lesson plan for my senior seminar class.  Stress, angst, stress, angst, stress, angst, stress, angst, ya know! One week and several communication issues later, the lesson plan was presented on  Monday and all went well! :)

Insanity bout number three: This evening, as I was in my shoebox dorm trying to recuperate from WHATEVER has me feeling so crappy, I received an email from Academic Services, (kindly) telling me that my current incomplete grade from when I went abroad this summer must be resolved by the end of finals or I will receive an F in place.

Ok...I'm sorry.........WHAT??!!?


I have turned in EVERYTHING I was supposed to (by "everything", I mean a one-page report of my experience that was due in freaking September!).  AAAHHH RAGE FRUSTRATION WHYDOESNOBODYCOMMUNICATE?!?!?!?!? @#$%^&*()(*&^%^t&*&^%^&*!@#$%^&%$#@


I know that blogging/ranting will not fix anything, but it is still very, very frustrating.  That's all.

I'm going to finish my tea, check my temp again, then probably go to bed.  Yes, I know it's before 10.  But I'm using the sick card.  Adios! xx

Kelly: All of these problems can be fixed with one thing...COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!!!! Ok, that's it. Seriously, it's not like I'm asking for a lot here. It's just....incredibly frustrating because...how are we supposed to know? NOBODY TALKS. I just feel like all this work for my abroad credit is going for nothing. because they already scraped my active learning experience (ALE) because they PUT ON MY SCHEDULUE a class that I look LAST YEAR that was NOT LISTED for the ALE requirement for LAST YEAR when I registered for it!!

Do you understand my frustration? Ok, now that we're all on the same page.

I don't want to talk about this anymore. I just want the proper people to do their jobs so that us hard-working students don't get screwed over. In the meantime, I will pull all the strings, take time out of my super incredibly busy schedule to deal with this. When did seemingly simple processes become so darn complicated. Can I have a cookie?