The Singles Industry

Kelly: "You just know."

But really? Does any one person ever just "know?" If anyone who has ever been in my shoes and has heard that phrase, you feel the same way I do; it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Yes, we're talking about being single, more importantly single women. To me it seems that there are so many things that give me the impression that being single is a problem to be fixed. And you know what really gets me? There is so much media giving attention to singleness written/advertised by MARRIED women! Let me give you a few examples; blog posts written about being single (by married women), an advertisement on K-LOVE about Proverbs 31 ministries and most of the content of their message is geared towards married women. I'm going to be completely honest, those are the last things I want to see and hear about when it comes to singleness.

Not going to lie, I enjoy being single right now. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find "the one" and while my answer is yes, the truth is I'm not really in any hurry. I sincerely believe God will place the right person in my life and in the meantime I'm going to enjoy the ride. And for the record, I love spending time with my married friends and my friends who are in relationships (and none of them have done these things!) I've learned so much about being in a relationship from them and they are good models for me. I don't feel uncomfortable around them at all. I remember being in high school and sometimes my friends would try to hook me up with a guy they thought I would like, and my freshman year I actually caved and went along with a hook up. He was in 7th grade and had a crush on me since the beginning of time. Needless to say, it lasted about a week and I told him it wasn't him but it was everyone else calling the shots except me, and I had a problem with that. Of course he was crushed, but I did it for the best. Fast forward to 6 years later; I was a junior in college and this guy Facebook messaged me. I won't go into the nitty gritty details, but basically he wanted me back. Not joking. I ran from my dorm to Holly's and told her everything. Very few people know that story. The point is, it's ok to be single; enjoy it. Good grief I knew so many people who seemed to have a new relationship every week. It was exhausting. I don't have a "Mr. Right" in my life yet, but the tides seem to be changing, and I am open to that. So married friends; let your friends be single. Let them enjoy it. Be good examples of a good relationship.

Holly: I'm not going to lie, I harbor a bit of animosity towards the singles industry.  Let me explain: On Facebook or something, every now and then I'll come across an article, blog post, something of that nature, with a comment along the lines of "Shout out to all my single friends, this is for YOU!" And guess what? 9 times out of 10, it comes from someone WHO ISN'T SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Immediately tuned out.  Sorry, but that's just how it is.  If you're a single lady (or guy!!) and you post something like that, then I will be much more inclined to give you the time of day.  I'm sorry, but that's just how it is for me.  I know it's a bit brash.  But let me make a few points:

How about more articles, blog posts, etc, celebrating singleness? The fact that I am 24 years old and am able to keep a roof over my head, pay my bills on time, not starve to death, find a job I enjoy, ALL THE WHILE being comfortable in my own singleness is pretty applause-worthy to me.  Or anyone who is able to do all those things, for that matter.  Nope.  Instead, we are bombarded with "How to be the perfect wife", or advertisements for dating sites, Facebook friends jumping from one relationship to the next, and the list goes on.  Now please do not misunderstand me.  I envision myself getting married someday.  I'm going to be a bridesmaid next summer and I couldn't be more thrilled for my friend.  I would not be opposed to going on a date or two in the forseeable future.  But what's the hurry?  It seems like people are getting married younger and younger these days.  I feel like in today's society, if you hit your mid-20s and you're not married yet, then something's wrong with you.  I'll be 25 in about 8 months or so.  Is something wrong with me?  I certainly don't think so.  For now, I'm going to keep my options open...and continue enjoying my singleness.  Who's with me?