Making the grade

Kelly: I remember growing up as a kid in elementary school and my parents having multiple conversations with various teachers. I was too young to remember these conversations, but some of them included the loosely translated "she's not going to do well in college" speech because my grades were "below average" and I had a difficult time learning. It was suggested I had a learning disability and from elementary school up through college I severely struggled with taking tests. But my parents never enrolled me to have an IEP (individualized education plan) because they didn't want me to have that label of being "different." Now PLEASE do not misunderstand me; when I look back on it now I think perhaps an IEP or a related degree would have been very beneficial for me. But my parents always told me to do my best in school, and that grades were just letters but that didn't mean I could just slack off. The value of a good and hearty education was important to them, and so was the simple fact of just trying.

College was especially difficult for me at times, because in my field of study I HAD to make certain grades in my classes in order to continue into the program. In one of my generals, I was a few points under the 77% benchmark, thus I had to repeat the course. I often found myself envious of some of my classmates who just seemed to naturally excel; those who barely opened the book yet walked away from each test passing with flying colors. I on the other hand,  slaved myself at times to studying and studying. I did not have to work as hard in high school as I did in college, so this was new to me. Making straight A's and "learning how to study" is NOT something you learn in high school in my opinion; it's something you learn, over time, on your own. You learn what works for you and what doesn't. Ok, I sort of veered off course with that, so let me get back on track. I kept in mind what my parents told me; do your best and regardless, they continued to let me know how proud they were of me. Now I understand some people I know have high expectations for themselves. But just bear in mind, it is an opportunity many do not get that we have by going to college. And I am all for making the most of it, but do your best. Sometimes when you do your best and you don't feel like it was or the grade you got doesn't reflect "your best," then....well, I'm sorry about that. I really am. I'm not being brash or insensitive. You fell off the horse; dust yourself off and realize that you did do your best. Don't blame someone else, because trust me. I've tried that. I've pulled the "well they're just unfair" or "they're grading methods are unfair." It doesn't work.

I apologize in advance if I make someone angry or whatnot, but I feel that this blog is a safe place where I can freely express my opinions. It is not my intention to step on anyone's toes, and I am not saying that anyone who expects themselves to get straight A's and nothing else are stuck up and over achievers. Not even close. I honestly sometimes wish I had that motivation for myself. But just remember; in the end, all it comes down to is just....letters.

Holly: This has been on my mind for a while now, and it's come in light of finals wrapping up for students this week, both at Berea and UK (where I work).  I'm being completely upfront now; I surprised myself at some of my feelings yesterday.  There is some bitterness, there is some jealousy, and I know it's petty and I know it shouldn't be there.  But I'm going to be full disclosure.  I've accepted it and I'm going to move on from it, and I'm just going to be frank and get this all out, so I apologize if it is lengthy:

A lot of my facebook friends have been posting their final grades.  Most of you have gotten A's and B's.  Please let me be one of many to congratulate you.  College is tough.  Berea is a league of its own, if I do say so myself.  You all should definitely be proud of yourselves.  HOWEVER: I've also had many conversations with people about their grades.  I work at UK, for goodness sake.  The department has two student workers.  Many of my facebook friends are still Berea students.  You all GO. NUTS. over your grades.  I know so many who get disappointed in themselves and beat themselves to death if they don't make straight A's.  And for what?  A 4.0?  

Guys, I did not make A's and B's at Berea.  Not even close.  EVERY semester I was there I had a least one C.  It sucked.  It really did.  I busted my butt at Berea, and every time I saw that C it sucked.  It felt like I failed.  And to see all of you posting your straight A's and your A's and B's...well, yeah.  The jealousy comes out.  My LAST semester at Berea I was in my adviser's office in tears because I had a D in my Genetics class, and I NEEDED that class to graduate; I thought my life was over, right then and there! But I learned something REALLY quickly during my time at Berea: grades are just letters.  It's a letter.  Nothing more.  A 4.0 will not guarantee you a job after graduation.  A 4.0 will not guarantee you acceptance into your dream grad school (We have a friend who graduated with a 3.9 and MIT TURNED HER DOWN.  Massachusetts. Institute. of freaking. Technology.  Did I stutter?).  It will definitely help, I think, or at least I'd like to think it will.  A 4.0 will not guarantee you those things because after graduation, there are no guarantees.  There just aren't.  That's the world we live in, that's the economy we live in.  I don't mean to rain on everyone's parades, so let me say this: Please be proud of the grades you do get, whether they're straight A's, or alphabet soup, like mine were.  A lot of young people our age don't even get the opportunity to even go to college.  Can we not stress ourselves out over these letters? Do your best, in ALL areas, not just your academics.  Don't stress.  It's not worth it.  Enjoy your college experience.; it really does go by fast (I'll be 2 years post graduation next May...woah?).  I'm proud of my degree, even with the C's (and yes, the D) littered in my transcript, because I gained so much more than I could have imagined, and you can't put a numerical value on that. 

Home sweet home for a little while

Holly: The TV is on, which is something I'm not really used to.  There's a slight chill in the house.  I look outside my window and don't see any street lights or hear the sounds of narcoleptic students being unreasonably loud at unreasonable hours.  No traffic.  No sirens.  No noise.

Home.

Yes, spring break has arrived.  Yay!  Don't get me wrong, I'm practically Berea's number one fan, but I'm so ready to just be away for a while.  Although I really don't get that much of a break: I'm working on a lab notebook for one of my biology courses (that's 300-level but feels like a graduate level), reading a book for my biology capstone (that's 400-level but feels like a 100-level...I am NOT complaining, by the way), apartment-searching (although my sister is a goob and left the majority of the phone numbers at school.  Hey, ya gotta start somewhere, I reckon), continuing the ever-arduous job search,  and starting the even more arduous task of packing up some of my stuff here so I can get the bleep out of my parent's house in May (can you be excited and scared at the same time???????? I say yes).

And it's only a week.  Stay tuned.  :)

Kelly: Well as for me, this really won't be much of a break. I still have a lot of homework to do...BLAAAAH. Oh well, no rest for the weary I suppose. However, I have devoted some of the break for some quiet time with sis and my best friend. And once I get back on campus I will hopefully be rejuvenated enough to tackle the rest of what the semester holds for me!

During this break we are also taking another bold leap; starting the process of moving out! Yes. One day this week we will be spending it by sorting our stuff; keep, sell and toss. We hope we are successful and don't have as much to bring back to Berea...cross your fingers for no U-Hauls!!!! Also keep your fingers crossed that this week I hear about my CNA job and we also find a place to go in Berea. That is also on the agenda...even though we will only have 3 apartments to call since I am a ree-ree and forgot the apartment book of phone numbers in Berea in my desk drawer. Oops. And it's for this reason why we can't have anything nice!

That's all to report for now. We are looking very forward to this time off!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!!!!

Kelly: Honestly, I had a rather rough morning. The results of my MRI came back normal, much to my surprise. Though I was relieved that surgery is ruled out, frustration soon took over as I left the office. Great, it's not this, but...what is it? SOMETHING is still going on, and nobody can figure out what. The doctor even told me "I'm just grasping at straws." Talk about comforting. So my next step has yet to come; nerve conduction studies. I left the office crying and eventually broke down in my sister's room. I guess the unknown of what is going on and on-going frustration just got to me. This vicious cycle....is exhausting. But I am keeping the faith, even though these times are really hard, but faith is all I've got.

Tonight was also the first night of the entire college music department's Christmas concert. The church we were at was full and the spirits were uplifted and joyful. During one of the songs I was singing, I really took the time to listen to the words. And during one part of the song...I just felt something inside me just....become happier.

Thank you for the Lamb
The precious lamb of God
Because of your grace I can finish this race
The precious lamb of God


And now, I'm in such a good mood. It just amazes me the wonderful power of Christmas and Christmas music can totally change one's outlook of an entire day. God is...awesome and amazing, and I thank Him that he can make a seemingly small situation and exposing it to me after a rough start. Peace be to all of you.

Holly: I too am in a fantastic mood! I received a good grade on an exam I just took (and this professor is notorious for rough exams), and I work with some really awesome people who always cheer me up and put me in a silly/good mood (I will blog about that at a later time).  But the moment that Kelly came in and was deeply frustrated and upset by the "normal" MRI, I put on my sister hat and just hugged her.  I didn't say anything.  There aren't words to describe how it feels when your sister is hurting.  But the power of presence is more that can be said.  Actions really do speak louder than words.

Anyway, the Christmas concert tonight is something that I have been looking forward to for a while now...mostly because I just LOVE Christmas.  But there is something to be said when you hear a church full of people singing carols! It's just heartwarming! I left the church smiling.  :) 

The content below is a conversation I had with a local pastor (who is a graduate of Berea and the temporary college band director).  I am not making any of this up:

"Do you sing in BME? Do you have a twin sister? I just LOVE watchin' y'all sing, cause y'all look so happy! And you actually have rhythm! 'Cause white people usually don't have rhythm! You represent white people well!"

I hope that you all are blessed by the sounds and sights of Christmas! :)

Random Post XYZ

Holly: Helllllllllllloooooooo everybody! *waves*  I hope that everyone is having a wonderful day/week/month/LIFE! :)

Things have been kind of insane lately.  To begin, I am sick.  Again.  With what, I'm not sure (doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon will hopefully shed some light on that), but it's either what I've been sick with for a while now, or something totally new.   Regardless, I began running a low-grade fever this afternoon and have been feeling craptastic since.  It must be bad because even when I went into work today to help out (I usually don't work on Wednesdays, but hey, labs don't prep themselves), my boss noticed I was off.  Definitely glad to notice others care about my well-being. 

But whatevs.  Life goes on.

Random tangent of happy news: next semester I might be TAing for a fun class! Stay tuned!! I'm really pumped about it!!!!! :D

Insanity bout numero dos: The previous week had me running about all like a chicken with its head cut off because of a lesson plan for my senior seminar class.  Stress, angst, stress, angst, stress, angst, stress, angst, ya know! One week and several communication issues later, the lesson plan was presented on  Monday and all went well! :)

Insanity bout number three: This evening, as I was in my shoebox dorm trying to recuperate from WHATEVER has me feeling so crappy, I received an email from Academic Services, (kindly) telling me that my current incomplete grade from when I went abroad this summer must be resolved by the end of finals or I will receive an F in place.

Ok...I'm sorry.........WHAT??!!?


I have turned in EVERYTHING I was supposed to (by "everything", I mean a one-page report of my experience that was due in freaking September!).  AAAHHH RAGE FRUSTRATION WHYDOESNOBODYCOMMUNICATE?!?!?!?!? @#$%^&*()(*&^%^t&*&^%^&*!@#$%^&%$#@


I know that blogging/ranting will not fix anything, but it is still very, very frustrating.  That's all.

I'm going to finish my tea, check my temp again, then probably go to bed.  Yes, I know it's before 10.  But I'm using the sick card.  Adios! xx

Kelly: All of these problems can be fixed with one thing...COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!!!! Ok, that's it. Seriously, it's not like I'm asking for a lot here. It's just....incredibly frustrating because...how are we supposed to know? NOBODY TALKS. I just feel like all this work for my abroad credit is going for nothing. because they already scraped my active learning experience (ALE) because they PUT ON MY SCHEDULUE a class that I look LAST YEAR that was NOT LISTED for the ALE requirement for LAST YEAR when I registered for it!!

Do you understand my frustration? Ok, now that we're all on the same page.

I don't want to talk about this anymore. I just want the proper people to do their jobs so that us hard-working students don't get screwed over. In the meantime, I will pull all the strings, take time out of my super incredibly busy schedule to deal with this. When did seemingly simple processes become so darn complicated. Can I have a cookie?