Deep breath: The next chapter

Holly: It's the deep breath before the plunge. -Gandalf, "Return of the King"

It's very fitting for me that the first episode of this newest season of Doctor Who is titled "Deep Breath." This, coupled with Gandalf's words and the words of those who have always had my back and will continue to do so, resonated with me as I hung up the phone this morning.

Today, another chapter in my life story began being written.

This morning I was offered an Americorps VISTA position, in conjunction with Berea College and an organization called Grow Appalachia.  I interviewed for this position on Tuesday, after taking the day off from work so I could gain my bearings and dwell on just what I could be getting myself into.  And today, I suppose that the Grow Appalachia team decided I can cut it.  And I know I can.  

I've had over a week to think about all of this, from the time I initially applied for the position until Tuesday, and even from after my interview on Tuesday until today.  If you know me, you know I've tried to get my foot in the door at the college for quite some time now, but every opportunity I applied for never even got an interview, just a solid rejection after months of waiting.  It was very frustrating, because I believed that God was calling me there.  But this opportunity was different.  Within an hour after submitting my application materials I was called for an interview (I'm really not exaggerating on that, either).  I had my interview on Tuesday and was told I would hear something within a week or two, the following Monday at the earliest; I got the offer today.  I know it doesn't make sense, but it just feels....right.  It's not going to come without some sacrifices, though; as a VISTA I'll be making roughly half of what I make now as a lab coordinator.  In addition to that, it's a 12-month commitment, meaning afterwards, there could be another open door with the organization, something at the college, etc...or I could be back at square one.  

But that's something I've learned while walking with God and living in this world we live in: You can't plan ahead if you're trying to follow God's will.  As a Christ-follower, I believe that God is sovereign, and He calls us to do various things, at any time, without warning, because He is God and He is in control.  As a Christ-follower, I do not live for myself; I live for God.  Where God goes, I follow in obedience and TRUST that He will provide for our needs.  Because He already has. And I'll let Kelly share that bit with you all.  

So that's where I am right now.  These next few weeks are going to be a bit of a whirlwind as I transition out of UK and all the comforts thereto and into the trenches of Americorps and service and really living like the least of these.  

Kelly: My thoughts will continue...after I eat dinner. 

Anyway, now that I'm finished, I will continue. I have to admit, I was a bit apprehensive at first, considering this will result in us having a drastic cut in our bank of income. And our Europe trip is now postponed until next fall, but these are sacrifices we were both willing to make. But to be fair, AmeriCorps is a really excellent organization, as is PeaceCorps, as a very dear friend is about 6 months into a 2 year commitment in Thailand. But as we were embarking on our almost daily evening walk, I found myself thinking about my last summer/year in college. I spent my last summer as a student working minimum wage as a facilities assistant...ok...I was a janitor, but hey, it was a good job. In my opinion its something everyone should do at least once in their lifetime. ANYWAY, but in my last year of school, I was working 15 hours a week making $5.65 an hour, and most of the time due to classes and clinicals, I wasn't even getting in 15 hours. I did the math, so that's...roughly $339 a month. And we were living off campus and had to pay rent, utilities, my own cell phone and the sort. Holly had just finished her first job at UK in November and soon after started working in Old Navy; that was her only job from December until I graduated. Then she got another job as a temp in UK's Department of Pathology. Between those two jobs, she was only making about $500 a month. Sometimes more if she picked up extra at Old Navy. Then, when I graduated, I didn't even have a job until August. So from the middle of May to the beginning of August, we were living only on Holly's earnings. And while I was in school, the two of us were living on less than $1000 a month. We were scared, to be honest. We struggled many times to make ends meet, but we got by. Thanks be to God I had food stamps. We prayed that God would meet our needs and bless us with what we had. And He did. Today He still continues to do so. 

So why am I telling you readers all of this? Number one, it's reality. It was reality for us for a long time. But it was possible; God brought us through that time. Number two, God is faithful! He is gracious to those who pursue His best interests. Holly wanted to find something in her field at the time, and I was following God's calling by finishing nursing school. However, that faithfulness doesn't come without a price; we had to learn that His answers come in His time, not ours. And even when we couldn't see the light, God was standing right there, even if He was just holding a flashlight. So that's that. Things will be tight, yes, but I remember God's promises and the fact that He brought us through that and so much more! We will make it work, rest assured, but we'll be ok. I prayed this morning that if this is meant to be, then it will be. God will make a way. Thanks to YOU ALL for being so supportive of us, and please continue your support. We will covet your prayers as this period will bring so much excitement but new challenges as well. 

30 Days of Writing: Your Fears

Kelly: The kind of world/society generations younger than me will have to endure and go through.

Being stagnant in my relationship with God.

Finding a job, not liking it but staying with it to make money, end up miserable and "stuck" in such job.

The thought of Yoda/Wiley accidentally getting out and not coming back. :(

Holly: Stagnancy in general

That I won't find a job in my field

When I come to the end of my Earthly life, that even though I did my best, that God will be disappointed in me

The kind of world/society my kids/grandkids will have to see

The kind of world/society that we already see

People being disappointed in me

Being stranded in downtown Lexington (don't judge me on this one...have you been to downtown Lexington??)

Falling

We are Second. Are you Second?

Kelly: The other day, I was at work when Holly told me that I should watch this video. So I did. If you're not familiar with the speaker presented in the video, you will be. If you've seen Facing the Giants, Courageous, Fireproof or Flywheel, then you're already familiar. Anyway, there are more of these videos and they are speaking on behalf of a non-profit called I Am Second. The basic premise of I Am Second is that God and others are first while we are second. Makes sense? Makes sense to me. But the point of today's post is for us to talk about what we feel it means to be...second. 

Every day, I do my best to live for God and to follow His will in my life. The most simple principles of being a follower of Christ is to love God and to love others. I give 110% of everything that I do, and being in nursing is a prime example of basically getting paid to do what God has called us to do. And it's easy to do! But also, being second to me is keeping your mind open to the possibilities of failures or falling short. And it will happen....OFTEN. But we have God's everlasting strength to catch us when we fall and to pick us up again! Some days are easier than others, especially when things are going right. I think it's harder to be second when things are going wrong, because our inner "me" monsters want to rear their ugly heads. "Why is this happening to me?" "This isn't fair; I don't deserve this!" "Things aren't going my way." "Well I'm going to do it this way because it's about me anyway." I've heard them all. I've said them all. I'm trying to not get consumed with the me-centered world we live in; instead I'm doing my best to live for a God that created all us me monsters in the first place. It's a challenge that has to be taken heavily...daily. But in my opinion, it's worth it.

My name is Kelly, and I am Second...or at least I'm trying to be.

Holly: These videos absolutely amaze and inspire me because it just goes to show how much God will bless you if you let Him!  So many times at church our pastor prays "Get me out of the way."  Our society is so self-centered: how YOU can be more successful, how YOU can be a better spouse, how YOU can get on the road to the American dream, how YOU can have it all, do it all, how YOU can be better, faster, stronger, smarter, skinnier, healthier, prettier, more confident.......

Honestly, I used to be like that.  I used to do whatever was best for Holly.  I used to help people and then think "Well, what's in it for me?"  I used to do whatever it took just so Holly could get her way.  Thank God I've grown up since then and realized that life is not about me.  We are here to love God with all that we are and to love our neighbors as ourselves.  Kind of hard and counterproductive to do that when you're a one man me-fest, isn't it?  For me, being second is simple: start and end every day with God.  Pray consistently.  Thank Him for all that you have, and ask for His mercy to cover those who are less fortunate.  Put other's needs ahead of your own.  Smile.  It's taking some getting used to, and I know I have so much to learn, still. But I'm working on giving EVERYTHING I have to God and having faith that He will carry us through life.  Complete and utter surrender.  It's not easy, but I know it will be worth it.

I am a living testament of God and His grace; I used to be all about me.  But He's gotten a hold of me and given me a joy and spirit for encouraging, uplifting others, and making them laugh.  Who am I to keep that to myself?  

My name is Holly, and I am second.

God can do whatever He wants to do, however He wants to do it.  He chooses to work in our lives because He loves us, because He's good.  -Facing the Giants

Car Talk

Kelly: Today Holly and I were talking about this past week and what has gone on. These conversations occurred driving home from church as we headed out to dog sit for a couple from church who were out of town this weekend. Anyway, this past week has had a few bumps for me. On Tuesday as I was heading out the door to church choir, I received a phone call I was not expecting. To make a long story short, because of some nursing skills I had failed to not complete yet (the day I originally intended to complete them I was sick. Boo), I was pulled out of clinicals until I completed them. (I'm completing them this week and will be returning on site this Thursday.) Anyway, this news upset me. I became angry, threw my phone, said a few choice words, cried a little, but still went to church choir like nothing happened. Prayed a lot to God that night, cried myself to sleep that night, was questioning why this was happening. I woke up Wednesday morning, eyes sore and not ready to face what was coming. But by the end of the day, my mindset had completely changed. Funny how that works, isn't it?

As I continue my walk with the Lord, one of my hang-ups I'm still trying to work on is control. I tend to let myself get out of control when things...don't really go as planned. I was talking to Holly about this regarding what happened Tuesday evening. I told her now that that has happened I realized that now I acted and said things that did not reflect that God is in control. Yet I have the audacity to claim that I follow a God who controls my life and everything about it, yet I let myself go out of control when something I wasn't expecting happens. Then I think....well I shouldn't have done that or said what I did. Smack. But as we continued to talk, we both came to a realization. These things happen. A few bumps are going to happen. God allows these things to happen and it's up to us to figure out what to do. He gives us the freedom to choose whether or not to scream, cry, throw things or to lift up our hands and say "God, take it. I'm giving it to you because I don't want to depend on anyone but you." I'll admit; sometimes it's hard to make that choice because I think in the moment we WANT to be angry, hurt, frustrated, upset, or sad. And I'm not saying that's bad. But I think that if we continue to let those feelings grow and hold them in, then that becomes bad.

I'll close with this; today Pastor Kevin talked about the two greatest commandments in the Bible (Matthew 22:37-40 for an FYI). We are to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves. Something that he said....just put everything into a new lens to look at. "You can fail at your education. You can fail at your business. You can fail at your financial goals. But if you love God with all that you are and love your neighbor as yourself, then you have done what you have been called on Earth to do." Or something close to that. All I can say is sometimes things happen that we don't expect. But if we claim to carry the name Christ, we can't let the love and joy He's given us ruin that! It's something I'm trying to work on. Challenge accepted.

Holly: One of the big questions that was asked was "Do you ever feel like a failure?"  I think,  without even hesitating, Kelly and I answered "Yes".  Because, from the outside looking in, I'm not accomplishing much with my life.  I'm almost a year out of graduating from Berea.  The longest I've held a job (to date) is six months.  Since losing that job I have yet to find another job that has anything to do with my major (Biology, for those of you living under a rock).  That was in November of 2012.  It is now almost March of 2013.  So what am I doing now? I work at Old Navy.  I'm lucky to get three shifts a week.  Yep, this Biology major graduate from Berea College is working in retail.  Folks, I have to admit that in more instances than I care to admit, sometimes I drive up and I wonder aloud "What in the WORLD am I doing?  Why am I doing this with my life?  How has my life ended up in this way?"

But there is so much more to life than this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And today reminded me of that.

Honestly, my life have gone in directions that I couldn't have even anticipated, and yet, I finally feel like things are coming together.  I sincerely do my best to share love with others; be accepting instead of refuting, laughing with my co-workers who come from such different walks of life than I do, offering a smile to a stranger.  And God has been way too good to me to not love Him!  It's God.  It's all God!  And I'm doing my best to have faith in Him and to trust in Him despite my circumstances.  I'm not saying that all days are cake, but it definitely does change my perspective on the way I view hardships and things that come my way.

I know some of you out there are questioning as to whether your life has meaning, purpose.  Let me close with this: Toward the end of the message this morning, Kevin said that you are either good soil or bad soil; meaning: Has your walk with Christ changed because of someone you know, and vice versa?  Please know that I GUARANTEE that you have influenced my life in one way or another, and I just wanted to say thank you.  I sincerely pray that I will influence someone's life just by me being in it.  It's time for our society to be selfLESS, not selfISH.  :)

Money on my mind; some money tricks and tips from the living in the 99% world.

Kelly: For some reason, money has been on my mind today. I've watched friends and family struggle with balancing and managing it, myself included. What this post is about is some things that I have learned about money management. Warning: I am harshly true in some of these tips. Just wanted to let you all know. Now I am not a money expert or a financial professional. These are just some tricks, tips and advice that me who is amongst the 99% and a recent renter and caretaker of my own finances.

Use common sense: This came to mind when I first switched over cell phone companies. I used to pay $45 a month for unlimited everything. I then figured out I didn't NEED the unlimited everything. So I calculated how many minutes I used and how many texts I sent/received. Instead of continuing to pay $45 a month for my cell phone, I changed over to the $30 plan, which is 1000 everything. Boom. Simple as that. Now I save $15 a month!

If you're feeling tempted to spend extra, figure out why: Guilty a LOT! After I get off work, I hang out at a local coffee shop and wait for Holly to pick me up. It's tempting to grab that cup of the flavor of the day, that chai latte, or your no-foam triple cappucino hold the coffee and extra chocolate with 2 shots of espresso, especially when the flavor of the day is your absolute favorite!!! (I fancy hazelnut personally). Are you tempted because you're stressed out? Bored? Tired? Most of time I'm just bored and have the money to spend. Something that I do if I know I'm tempted to spend is just leave my debit card at home if I don't need to pick up anything after I get off work. Just...leave it at home. Don't need it today. Trust me...this isn't as easy as it sounds.

Set a limit: For me, I try not to go less than $100 in my bank. Again, not as easy as it sounds. I try to set this limit for a few reasons. Number 1, it gives me a good cushion to hold me over for when the next pay period comes. Number 2, I have something to use in case of an unforseen circumstance or an emergency. That way, I have coverage to go home or anywhere I need to go. But...your limit doesn't have to be $100. It can be $50, $200, $5, whatever you feel comfortable with.

Be careful and pay attention to your bank account!!! This sort of falls on the being tempted to spend. I know many of times it is extra tempting for me to spend a little bit more, but this has put me in hot water MANY times. Before I opened my bank account, my paychecks were all given to me. Well...when you have lots of extra cash just laying around, there it goes! WEEEEEE!!! 2 weeks until you next get paid and you have no money. Oops. What then? You're stuck. Dangerous cycle. Happened to me on more than one occasion. I established the set a limit rule once I opened my bank account. Also, watch for checks. For my bank sometimes it takes a few days or a few weeks to clear. Just be careful with your spending if you're waiting for a big check to clear.

You're going to have to make sacrifices. Sad truth. If you know you're short on cash, bummer. Better luck next time. This truth caused me to miss many dinner parties with my friends simply because I couldn't afford to eat out or chip in for the meal. It sucks. Big time. But there are worse things in life, and it won't last long. :)

Don't beat yourself up if you slip. It's going to happen. Another truth. Also remember, if you accidentally go over your set limit or whatever, just remember. It's ok. Often though if I went over I put myself on a self-proclaimed spending freeze until I felt I could spend money again. It was a self-punishment. And that was ok...for a little bit. Spending freezes are ok, but I've learned to not use them too often. It causes a lot of frustration and tension that is just unnecessary. But if they work for you have at it. :D I also find praying and LOTS of patience keeps me sane.

NEVER be afraid to ask for help. Another truth. Even as an apartment owner I have still had to sometimes call for mommy and daddy to help me out if I'm struggling. And again, it's ok. Ask for help before you get yourself in money troubles. If you're parents can't help, ask a friend, neighbor, or folks from church. If you don't have any friends, neighbors or a church, ask me. I'll find someone who can help you.

One last thing. Managing money is HARD. It takes time and a lot of patience. It involves sacrifices and there will be times when you will want to scream and cry. But remember, financial struggles do not have to last forever. With just a little bit of careful planning and discipline, you can make $20 go a long way. :]

Holly: Wow...ok.  I was going to add a whole bunch but after reading this, I really don't have anything to add.  Kelly said it all right on the money (sorry...I couldn't resist the pun).  For me, I feel that sometimes I have to monitor my spending extra carefully because of an added expense I've since come to know: gas money.  With the up and down prices I have to purposely budget gas money, which averages about $50 a week.  When it's all said and done that's A LOT.  I mean, thank God my car gets decent gas mileage.

Managing money IS hard.  It's something I struggle with and I think it's something I'm going to keep struggling with.  What Kelly and I have discussed doing is keeping each other accountable; admitting our slip-ups and not getting all bent out of shape over it.  If you don't make a big deal about it, chances are you aren't as likely to slip up again...at least I'm speaking from personal experience.  Accountability is so key here, and I think that's why so many 20-somethings just squander their money: no longer living with Mommy and Daddy and maintaining a somewhat steady income.  The whole mindset of "it's my money and I can do what I want with it".  That is such a DANGEROUS mindset, and it's one I used to hold to frequently.

One thing I have learned is to simply STOP worrying about money.  Worrying does not solve anything and it just drives me crazy.  If you stick to your discipline and keep track of your spending, then you will be fine.  From a Christian perspective, God does not want us to live in financial bondage.  His word says you cannot serve both God and money.  How's that for perspective?

Any readers out there: if you have any money-saving tips, strategies, etc, please feel free to share them!  $$

The 99%

Kelly: As I was checking my Yahoo! email, I came across this article. It's about this banker. Just read it; then read my comments.

This guy is in the 1%

EXCUSE ME?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I think I just threw up in my mouth. More and more I am understanding what this "1%" consists of. And more and more I am incredibly despised by it. It literally makes me sick to my stomach that there are people in my country that live like this. And now for me.

I make $5.50 an hour working a simple desk job; part of the package deal at Berea is you have to work. Speaking of which, I get paid on Friday. Half of my earned paycheck will automatically be deducted to pay off the $485 (give or take)  worth of books and other course fees. 5% of that will go towards my church on Sunday because I have been slacking in tithing so for now I am starting smaller. I am paying for my own cell phone and my own food. I also owe sums of probably a couple thousand dollars in bills that currently I cannot afford, thus I have sent them home for my parents and I to try to come up with how I am going to pay them.

Every day I thank God that I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach and at least some money to get by. Dear America, we have GOT TO STOP BEING SO SELFISH. We have it MADE compared to what most do not have. End rant.

Holly: It just makes me sad because these 1 percent-ers really don't know how it feels to just barely make it by.  I mean, that's pretty much a prereq for getting into Berea: you have to be poor.  I'll be frank, growing up I didn't have to worry about not having clothing, food, or electricity.  But I know plenty of people who did.  And I've seen $50 in my parent's bank account before.  I've seen them make sacrifices for Kelly, my brother and I.  I would HARDLY consider $350,000 a year and wanting to upgrade to an even bigger home and sending your kids to private school a "jam", just fyi. 

"People who don't have money don't understand the stress."  The stress? Oh my, I don't even have a snarky comment for that.

Dear universe, MONEY DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING! Go spend time with your family, take up a hobby, partake in random acts of kindness, volunteer, adopt a stray kitty, whatever!  I absolutely cannot stand the fact that the majority of Americans have this "bigger, better, best, gotta-have-it-all, do-it-all, get-to-the-very-very-top-by-any-means-necessary-and-screw-the-rest-of-the-world" mentality.  It stinks.  As for Kelly and I, we're just trying to find out WHAT it all means! 

Anyway, I'm going to enjoy the beautiful day and take the time to reflect on all that I DO have.  I hope you readers do too.  You'll find you're a lot more blessed than you realize, money or no money.  :)

So, it's 12:30 on a Friday afternoon...

Holly: So........................................

Hi everyone! *waves*  How's everyone doing? I'm usually still eating lunch right now, but sis and I ate early today and now I'm just killing time before my dreadfully boring Spanish class.  Listening to "I Want to Break Free" by Queen (only because I had NO IDEA that this great song is by Queen).  My computer is currently operating on no battery..."life support", as Kelly put.  Kelly's about to leave for her psych nursing class; she has an exam so send happy thoughts to her!!!!!!!

Shout-out to one of our lovely readers/followers: glad you are having a superb time in London! Wish we could be there too! :)

Oh, Berea students got paid today! Yay for income!

Um...yep.  That's it.  Have  a wonderful day filled with hugs! <3

UPDATE: Dreadfully boring Spanish class got cancelled and got attacked by my advisor's sweet chocolate lab.  Life is good.  

UPDATE AGAIN: Sorry, but this one's huge: Just checked my email, and the Berea College Board of Trustees has elected Berea's ninth president! A big day for Berea College indeed! So happy and excited!