Kelly: The Christmas music has started, the cats are hyper and I've been awake since 6AM. Just another day of livin-la-vida-loca! The reason I've been awake so long is that I had another MRI today; hopefully the last for a long while. This one was done because last week, one awesome doctor FINALLY has a name for all my ankle problems!!!! After 2 and a half years of groveling, knocking on doors, pain and frustration, YES. There is a name! Anyway, this MRI was done to see the extent of the problem and what is the next step treatment wise for me; casting first or surgery. She said (the good doctor) that surgery is very unlikely, so keep your eyes open as I will be posting updates. I don't go back to see her until the 10th, so again another waiting game continues.
Anyway, during the scan today the tech asked what radio station I liked to listen to, and I said I'm very fond of K-LOVE; they played music for me since MRI's tend to be rather noisy...if you've never had one, take my word for it. I've had 3. So anyway, I was laying on my back, drifting in and out of sleep and then the radio DJ's who do the morning show were talking about something they read about this guy who was his own "minister of happy." What this guy did was just that...he was just happy. But what he did was change his mindset. The radio DJ's kept talking and mentioned the encouraging word which was from 1 Corinthians 15:58. The premise of this verse is that everything we do is not useless and that we're to work in all things for Christ. One of the DJ's said that with that kind of mindset, daily, it can provide the same eternal gratitude as leading someone to Christ. What a concept. Just something for us to take home; instead of "going through the motions" and going through the daily grind, how's about we take our mundane every dayness and use any and every moment possible for God? Thoughts and actions like that could change us...even the world.
Holly: This especially struck me today. Last Tuesday was my last day at my job. Which means yes...I am now unemployed once again. With the exception of my Mary Kay. To say I'm anxious, uneasy, worried, all are understatements. Most of the time I try to keep the faith but sometimes it's hard to not get discouraged. But when I heard about being our own ministers of happy, it was like a light switch. Yes, times are scary and uncertain for me right now. God is taking me through a season that is uncomfortable, boring, scary...I feel sometimes as if I'm on pins and needles, waiting for an email, phone call, ANYTHING. But that isn't how it has to be.
So how does someone like me be a minister of happy even in the dark times? I know for me that I have to undergo a serious change of perspective. I know that I need to use this abundant spare time for God, for rest, for prayer, and being serious in my faith to the point that I solely rely on God for my utmost needs and desires. Which at this point is work. I need to work! I need to stay busy! But what I keep praying is that regardless of where I end up I want to be used by God. For now, I wait. And do things. Like tonight: I auditioned for a dance ensemble at Berea. I have absolutely no idea if I'll even get into a piece, but it was the most fun hour and forty five minutes I've had in a LONG time. I'll plan my party. I'll sleep. And pray. And keep faith. Because we do what we have to do.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
The Crisis Mode!!!!!
Kelly: This morning sis and I had somewhat of an interesting conversation. We were talking about really really stressful situations and what we did to get over them. Our responses were typical; we did the usual "short term" relief efforts to combat our stress. Here's what I mean.
Last year when I was in the PACU (post-anesthesia care unit) after watching a patient go through a seemingly routine surgery, her BP shot through the roof. This was related to several factors, but anyway it escalated pretty quickly. I noticed that the nurse kept IV pushing two medications that I had never heard of. I later learned that they were anti-hypertensives but were very short acting. So every few minutes the nurse would have to give just a little bit more. While this was going on, I was thinking "well shouldn't somebody be trying to figure out what the problem is or look for a more long term solution?" Eventually they did and the patient was transported to intensive care.
"Wow! Great story Kelly! Now what in the heck are you talking about?" Well I'm getting there. In a crisis situation, when you feel like there's no way out, often times we turn to short term solutions just to temporarily take the edge off. People do this in many ways; post about it on Facebook browse a few recipes on Pinterest, or turn to more harmful measures such as drinking or smoking. And sure, those measures make us feel good and block out the world for a bit, but the minute you turn off the web browser, or put that bottle down or put that butt out, what you were trying to avoid is still right where you left it. It didn't go away, so we keep going back to those temporary measures. But like the patient I saw, until a long-term solution was reached, the nurse was going to have to keep pushing those medications. So here's a challenge for you all (and for me as well), instead of seeking temporary relief when stressful times hit, look into the root of the problem and come up with a long-term solution. That way, you won't have to be standing over yourself self-administering that temporary fix.
Holly: Ugh....now that I'm older I am so over these "quick fixes" to life situations. My philosophy is if it ain't a permanent solution then I'm not even going to waste my time! I used to be a horrible procrastinator. Still am, I suppose. But while I was busy all aboard the procrastination express, I had the mindset of "Oh, well, God will provide this and that, etc." Which is VERY true. I'm not mean to be sacrilegious. But yesterday Kelly and I were doing our LoTR devotional and a topic similar to this one came up, and it dawned on me: Yes, God DOES provide, and He is faithful, but sometimes He might want us to change something about our lifestyle, a nasty habit we have, etc.
Think about it this way: Say you have a monster deadline/paper/project/major life stressor due in a short amount of time. You've known about it for a while now, but now it's getting down to the wire and you realize you've barely put a dent in it. As that time you thought you had so much of comes to a halt, you remember your thinking something along the lines of "Oh, I've got time, it'll get done, I'll finish it..." (Sounding a little familiar yet??????)
When you say you want to stop procrastinating, or stressing yourself out, or whatever you need to fix, say the words and PUT ACTIONS behind them. With me, I combated my procrastination by doing my work, REALLY DOING my work, DISCIPLINING myself to do my work, and I set a goal. If I reached that goal, I would spend 15 minutes or so indulging in mindless internet culture. After my 15 minutes (I timed myself...seriously!!!!), it was back to work. Ask Kelly what she does. Seriously. She is ON TOP of her game this semester, y'all!
One more piece of advice: if you KNOW of something coming up that you have to do, take the necessary steps to prepare it. If you're a slow reader, start your reading earlier. If you have a paper due in two weeks, write a little bit every day, even if it's just a paragraph or two. Be diligent with your time and LIMIT yourself if you have to (Which, let's face it....YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!!). If you just do a little bit of planning, preparation, and extra work and initiative, then you will avoid crisis modes for a long time to come.
Last year when I was in the PACU (post-anesthesia care unit) after watching a patient go through a seemingly routine surgery, her BP shot through the roof. This was related to several factors, but anyway it escalated pretty quickly. I noticed that the nurse kept IV pushing two medications that I had never heard of. I later learned that they were anti-hypertensives but were very short acting. So every few minutes the nurse would have to give just a little bit more. While this was going on, I was thinking "well shouldn't somebody be trying to figure out what the problem is or look for a more long term solution?" Eventually they did and the patient was transported to intensive care.
"Wow! Great story Kelly! Now what in the heck are you talking about?" Well I'm getting there. In a crisis situation, when you feel like there's no way out, often times we turn to short term solutions just to temporarily take the edge off. People do this in many ways; post about it on Facebook browse a few recipes on Pinterest, or turn to more harmful measures such as drinking or smoking. And sure, those measures make us feel good and block out the world for a bit, but the minute you turn off the web browser, or put that bottle down or put that butt out, what you were trying to avoid is still right where you left it. It didn't go away, so we keep going back to those temporary measures. But like the patient I saw, until a long-term solution was reached, the nurse was going to have to keep pushing those medications. So here's a challenge for you all (and for me as well), instead of seeking temporary relief when stressful times hit, look into the root of the problem and come up with a long-term solution. That way, you won't have to be standing over yourself self-administering that temporary fix.
Holly: Ugh....now that I'm older I am so over these "quick fixes" to life situations. My philosophy is if it ain't a permanent solution then I'm not even going to waste my time! I used to be a horrible procrastinator. Still am, I suppose. But while I was busy all aboard the procrastination express, I had the mindset of "Oh, well, God will provide this and that, etc." Which is VERY true. I'm not mean to be sacrilegious. But yesterday Kelly and I were doing our LoTR devotional and a topic similar to this one came up, and it dawned on me: Yes, God DOES provide, and He is faithful, but sometimes He might want us to change something about our lifestyle, a nasty habit we have, etc.
Think about it this way: Say you have a monster deadline/paper/project/major life stressor due in a short amount of time. You've known about it for a while now, but now it's getting down to the wire and you realize you've barely put a dent in it. As that time you thought you had so much of comes to a halt, you remember your thinking something along the lines of "Oh, I've got time, it'll get done, I'll finish it..." (Sounding a little familiar yet??????)
When you say you want to stop procrastinating, or stressing yourself out, or whatever you need to fix, say the words and PUT ACTIONS behind them. With me, I combated my procrastination by doing my work, REALLY DOING my work, DISCIPLINING myself to do my work, and I set a goal. If I reached that goal, I would spend 15 minutes or so indulging in mindless internet culture. After my 15 minutes (I timed myself...seriously!!!!), it was back to work. Ask Kelly what she does. Seriously. She is ON TOP of her game this semester, y'all!
One more piece of advice: if you KNOW of something coming up that you have to do, take the necessary steps to prepare it. If you're a slow reader, start your reading earlier. If you have a paper due in two weeks, write a little bit every day, even if it's just a paragraph or two. Be diligent with your time and LIMIT yourself if you have to (Which, let's face it....YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!!). If you just do a little bit of planning, preparation, and extra work and initiative, then you will avoid crisis modes for a long time to come.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Potpurri Post #5
Kelly: We have nothing concrete to talk about, so we're just going to blah on and on. It's going to be a busy week for me. Doc's appt tomorrow, test tomorrow, test on Friday and a Women's choir concert on Sunday that you all should come to cuz it's going to be awwwwwwwwwwwwesome!!!!!!!!!
I'm really excited about the Hobbit too. I had seen the trailers and whatnot on TV but seeing it on the big screen was super cool! And to think, the next time we see it on the big screen it'll be for real! I also have my tentative clinical placement for next semester; anybody ever been to a surgical ICU? I was pretty mad at first that I didn't get a placement at Berea, but life goes on. And now we're watching Gangam style. Life is pretty good. Nothing really to report for me. I'm boring :P
Holly: So we really don't have a specific topic...so we're just going to catch y'all up on our lives and babble endlessly until we feel like stopping! :}
To start, almost ONE. MONTH. Until The Hobbit appears on the big screen!!!!!!! To say that Kelly and I are excited is a gross understatement. We saw Wreck-it Ralph with some friends last night and we saw a preview and I think we scared our friends and everyone else in the theater! lol. But yeah. We have our tickets and everything. It's going to be amazing!
A bit of sad (ish) news: I have just about a week and a half of my job left, and then I'm back out into the world of unknowns. I can't believe it's already been six months. When I got hired on and they told me everything would wrap up in November, it seemed a million miles away, but now it's here. It's been so awesome, and I've been really blessed with awesome co-workers. And of course, the sweetest (and smelliest, and greasiest) dogs anyone can even imagine. I will miss it terribly. So I'm going to do my best to make the most of these last few days. I've sent out some applications; I'm looking for something a little closer to home. Because I do love my job, SO. MUCH, but the commutes are kind of crazy. So there's that. Please send good vibes/pray/whatever you do for me in these next couple of weeks.
Another endeavor that I've recently joined is Mary Kay. Yes! After several months of friends dragging me to events and yanking my rope, I signed up about a month ago. It's been a little slow-going, and it gets pretty frustrating, but overall I am enjoying it, and things are slowly picking up and I'm making progress. I have goals and I know what I need to do to reach them, and I'm confident that I will do so. The women are so amazing and encouraging, and of course the products sell themselves! I'm excited to see where this whole thing goes; I'm looking forward to it. :)
That's about all I have to report on my front. Keep on keeping on. Be blessed!
I'm really excited about the Hobbit too. I had seen the trailers and whatnot on TV but seeing it on the big screen was super cool! And to think, the next time we see it on the big screen it'll be for real! I also have my tentative clinical placement for next semester; anybody ever been to a surgical ICU? I was pretty mad at first that I didn't get a placement at Berea, but life goes on. And now we're watching Gangam style. Life is pretty good. Nothing really to report for me. I'm boring :P
Holly: So we really don't have a specific topic...so we're just going to catch y'all up on our lives and babble endlessly until we feel like stopping! :}
To start, almost ONE. MONTH. Until The Hobbit appears on the big screen!!!!!!! To say that Kelly and I are excited is a gross understatement. We saw Wreck-it Ralph with some friends last night and we saw a preview and I think we scared our friends and everyone else in the theater! lol. But yeah. We have our tickets and everything. It's going to be amazing!
A bit of sad (ish) news: I have just about a week and a half of my job left, and then I'm back out into the world of unknowns. I can't believe it's already been six months. When I got hired on and they told me everything would wrap up in November, it seemed a million miles away, but now it's here. It's been so awesome, and I've been really blessed with awesome co-workers. And of course, the sweetest (and smelliest, and greasiest) dogs anyone can even imagine. I will miss it terribly. So I'm going to do my best to make the most of these last few days. I've sent out some applications; I'm looking for something a little closer to home. Because I do love my job, SO. MUCH, but the commutes are kind of crazy. So there's that. Please send good vibes/pray/whatever you do for me in these next couple of weeks.
Another endeavor that I've recently joined is Mary Kay. Yes! After several months of friends dragging me to events and yanking my rope, I signed up about a month ago. It's been a little slow-going, and it gets pretty frustrating, but overall I am enjoying it, and things are slowly picking up and I'm making progress. I have goals and I know what I need to do to reach them, and I'm confident that I will do so. The women are so amazing and encouraging, and of course the products sell themselves! I'm excited to see where this whole thing goes; I'm looking forward to it. :)
That's about all I have to report on my front. Keep on keeping on. Be blessed!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Top Ten Tunage
Holly: So Kelly and I were inspired by this:
http://twopaddocks.com/team-tunes.shtml#BenedictCumberbatch
Yes, it's Mr. C. Sue us. But we were browsing through the rest of the lists and we just kept thinking, what would be OUR top ten songs?? So here they are (these are in no particular order):
1. Who You Are- Unspoken
I first heard this song on a radio station I don't normally listen to, and the words just really spoke to me. It just resonated with me that no matter how far gone you go, God is still there.
2. Holland Road- Mumford and Sons
Ok, essentially ANYTHING by them is good, just very recently got into them and love their music, their instrumentation, etc. But the rhythms and driving melody is just...aah! My ears are happy. And the words are really powerful.
3. Can't Stop Loving You- Phil Collins
Like Mumford, I'm a huge Phil Collins fan. HUGE. It's very hard to find a song by him that I don't like. But this is just one of the most beautiful love songs in existence, in my opinion. If I ever get married I will play this song.
4. Solsbury Hill- Peter Gabriel
Just makes me think about life, memories, good times.
5. River- Enya
I listen to this if I can't think of anything to listen to. Beautiful music.
6. No Not One- Brandon Heath
Probably one of my favorite songs ever. Great reminder of God and His love and power.
7. Tonight is the Night- Outasight
Don't judge. Makes me want to dance.
8. Ticket to Ride- The Beatles
Catchy.
9. Hide- Scott Grimes
Yes, Dr. Morris on ER can sing. And he does it well.
10. Into the West- Annie Lennox
Still gives me chills to this day. Hauntingly beautiful.
Kelly: (my list changes daily. I love all kinds of music)
1. Caledonia-Celtic Woman.
I first heard this song when I was in the Highlands last summer in Scotland. It's a beautiful song about making a return journey home. There are many versions of this song; I just like Celtic Woman's the best :]
2. Broken Crown-Mumford & Sons
There are a few explicit words in this song, but a friend of mine pointed out how much passion there is in it. There really is. Just listen to the words. And the music is terrific too
3. The Memory of Trees-Enya
This song...is so beautiful. I love a lot of Enya's work, but after a long day this song is so relaxing.
4. One Thing Remains-Kristian Stanfill
Just a reminder that God's love is always with us. It never fails, never gives up, and it never runs out. Power! What power! Currently playing on repeat
5. All This Time-Britt Nicole
I call this my theme song. For real. Sometimes I forget that God has been there walking beside me through the hard times. And He still is!
6. Voice in the Wilderness-David Nevue
Found this song through Pandora. It's gorgeous! I love calm piano music, mostly hymns.
7. I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)-The Proclaimers
I just always want to get up and start dancing when I hear this song. I play it after I get something done and want to celebrate. Plus, they're twins...from Scotland! :D
8. Joy to the World-Hillsong
Yes, yes. I know it's a Christmas song. But it's my favorite arrangement of said song. Take a listen.
9. Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da: The Beatles
Because it's awesome. That's why!
10. Free-Dara Maclean.
Another whoop whoop song! Just got introduced to this not too long ago. Such true words! Great for walking early in the morning. :]
Let us know what you like or what you like on this list! Cheers!
http://twopaddocks.com/team-tunes.shtml#BenedictCumberbatch
Yes, it's Mr. C. Sue us. But we were browsing through the rest of the lists and we just kept thinking, what would be OUR top ten songs?? So here they are (these are in no particular order):
1. Who You Are- Unspoken
I first heard this song on a radio station I don't normally listen to, and the words just really spoke to me. It just resonated with me that no matter how far gone you go, God is still there.
2. Holland Road- Mumford and Sons
Ok, essentially ANYTHING by them is good, just very recently got into them and love their music, their instrumentation, etc. But the rhythms and driving melody is just...aah! My ears are happy. And the words are really powerful.
3. Can't Stop Loving You- Phil Collins
Like Mumford, I'm a huge Phil Collins fan. HUGE. It's very hard to find a song by him that I don't like. But this is just one of the most beautiful love songs in existence, in my opinion. If I ever get married I will play this song.
4. Solsbury Hill- Peter Gabriel
Just makes me think about life, memories, good times.
5. River- Enya
I listen to this if I can't think of anything to listen to. Beautiful music.
6. No Not One- Brandon Heath
Probably one of my favorite songs ever. Great reminder of God and His love and power.
7. Tonight is the Night- Outasight
Don't judge. Makes me want to dance.
8. Ticket to Ride- The Beatles
Catchy.
9. Hide- Scott Grimes
Yes, Dr. Morris on ER can sing. And he does it well.
10. Into the West- Annie Lennox
Still gives me chills to this day. Hauntingly beautiful.
Kelly: (my list changes daily. I love all kinds of music)
1. Caledonia-Celtic Woman.
I first heard this song when I was in the Highlands last summer in Scotland. It's a beautiful song about making a return journey home. There are many versions of this song; I just like Celtic Woman's the best :]
2. Broken Crown-Mumford & Sons
There are a few explicit words in this song, but a friend of mine pointed out how much passion there is in it. There really is. Just listen to the words. And the music is terrific too
3. The Memory of Trees-Enya
This song...is so beautiful. I love a lot of Enya's work, but after a long day this song is so relaxing.
4. One Thing Remains-Kristian Stanfill
Just a reminder that God's love is always with us. It never fails, never gives up, and it never runs out. Power! What power! Currently playing on repeat
5. All This Time-Britt Nicole
I call this my theme song. For real. Sometimes I forget that God has been there walking beside me through the hard times. And He still is!
6. Voice in the Wilderness-David Nevue
Found this song through Pandora. It's gorgeous! I love calm piano music, mostly hymns.
7. I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)-The Proclaimers
I just always want to get up and start dancing when I hear this song. I play it after I get something done and want to celebrate. Plus, they're twins...from Scotland! :D
8. Joy to the World-Hillsong
Yes, yes. I know it's a Christmas song. But it's my favorite arrangement of said song. Take a listen.
9. Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da: The Beatles
Because it's awesome. That's why!
10. Free-Dara Maclean.
Another whoop whoop song! Just got introduced to this not too long ago. Such true words! Great for walking early in the morning. :]
Let us know what you like or what you like on this list! Cheers!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
What's your appleseed?
Kelly: There is a reason for the crazy title that will be explained in a little bit. Anyway, the topic for this blog today is regarding fear. What in the world are we so afraid of? I could rattle off a few things, such as snakes, falling off really high places, and stinging bugs. Yeah. But if there was something that REALLY got me bone-chilling afraid...it'd be this.
Pain. Never knowing again what not having pain feels like. Yes, I am talking about my ankle...again. Now before you automatically disregard this, please don't. I've been thinking about how to describe what I'm so afraid of for a while, but after today at church I finally understand. I am afraid that I will never be pain-free again. It's not a phobia, but yeah. It does scare me. I have felt on numerous occasions that I will be the way I am for the rest of my life. And I haven't accepted that yet...because I'm afraid to. See where all the fear is coming from? But today, I've thought of something different. Something in a way that I haven't heard before.
Hope.
There is. There always is. And God...my God...is so much bigger than your fears. Than my fears. Than all my pain and worry about never knowing no pain. And that gives me hope. That is what has fueled me in all the areas in my life; that hope that God is so much bigger than all my junk that He has erased and freed me from! It is not His will for us to live in fear; to live in bondage of this and that and then some. But...it's a choice. I am trusting Him, or at least learning to trust Him more. It hasn't been easy. Some days it's easy to trust God; some days, most days, it's really hard. But I make a choice. Daily. So now I ask this; what are you afraid of? What are you doing about it? Are you ok with living in fear or is today the day you're going to decide that you don't have to? That it's not your will to do so? Yes. I'm still in pain. But God is bigger than pain.
Holly: The title comes from the sermon today: our pastor mistaking a bed bug in his 2-year-old daughter's bedroom for a mere appleseed (the story is much more humorous than I'm letting on). But what I'm getting at is this: why do we WORRY???????????? All. The. Time? qwvgbsegbf (attack of the Yoda...sorry)
We get so bent out of shape with worry and fear that it distorts reality...we see things that simply are not there. We get crazy ideas planted in our head, we have visions of crazy things that could, should, might happen. And then what happens, 9 times out of 10, is that we worry over absolutely NOTHING. Kelly used to get herself physically sick over worrying; kid you not.
The challenge from today was what if Christians, PEOPLE, lived in simple faith and not fear? That doesn't mean that us as Christians are going to have hard times and struggle. But the difference is that we can choose to trust in the One who knows all, sees all, created all, and dealt with it all whenever we have a hard time. Whenever we feel that age-old fear creeping up again. It's a choice, like Kelly said. We can either choose to continue to let fear cripple us to the point of distorting reality, or we can do something about it. If you know that something in your life is causing you worry, pray about it. TRUST that God will see you through it, and REFLECT on all the things that God has already carried you through, and then IMAGINE all the things that God is going to carry you through in the future!!!!
How's that for making an appleseed into an apple tree?
Pain. Never knowing again what not having pain feels like. Yes, I am talking about my ankle...again. Now before you automatically disregard this, please don't. I've been thinking about how to describe what I'm so afraid of for a while, but after today at church I finally understand. I am afraid that I will never be pain-free again. It's not a phobia, but yeah. It does scare me. I have felt on numerous occasions that I will be the way I am for the rest of my life. And I haven't accepted that yet...because I'm afraid to. See where all the fear is coming from? But today, I've thought of something different. Something in a way that I haven't heard before.
Hope.
There is. There always is. And God...my God...is so much bigger than your fears. Than my fears. Than all my pain and worry about never knowing no pain. And that gives me hope. That is what has fueled me in all the areas in my life; that hope that God is so much bigger than all my junk that He has erased and freed me from! It is not His will for us to live in fear; to live in bondage of this and that and then some. But...it's a choice. I am trusting Him, or at least learning to trust Him more. It hasn't been easy. Some days it's easy to trust God; some days, most days, it's really hard. But I make a choice. Daily. So now I ask this; what are you afraid of? What are you doing about it? Are you ok with living in fear or is today the day you're going to decide that you don't have to? That it's not your will to do so? Yes. I'm still in pain. But God is bigger than pain.
Holly: The title comes from the sermon today: our pastor mistaking a bed bug in his 2-year-old daughter's bedroom for a mere appleseed (the story is much more humorous than I'm letting on). But what I'm getting at is this: why do we WORRY???????????? All. The. Time? qwvgbsegbf (attack of the Yoda...sorry)
We get so bent out of shape with worry and fear that it distorts reality...we see things that simply are not there. We get crazy ideas planted in our head, we have visions of crazy things that could, should, might happen. And then what happens, 9 times out of 10, is that we worry over absolutely NOTHING. Kelly used to get herself physically sick over worrying; kid you not.
The challenge from today was what if Christians, PEOPLE, lived in simple faith and not fear? That doesn't mean that us as Christians are going to have hard times and struggle. But the difference is that we can choose to trust in the One who knows all, sees all, created all, and dealt with it all whenever we have a hard time. Whenever we feel that age-old fear creeping up again. It's a choice, like Kelly said. We can either choose to continue to let fear cripple us to the point of distorting reality, or we can do something about it. If you know that something in your life is causing you worry, pray about it. TRUST that God will see you through it, and REFLECT on all the things that God has already carried you through, and then IMAGINE all the things that God is going to carry you through in the future!!!!
How's that for making an appleseed into an apple tree?
Friday, October 26, 2012
Honesty without the hurt
Holly: Earlier today Kelly and I got into an argument. A pretty heated one. It eventually culminated into a battle of "well now I'M going to be honest about this and that", and we both said some things. I was really hurt by what she said. Really hurt. We've since made up and all that, but it just got me to thinking about honesty and being honest. Now, I'm all for it, personally. HOWEVER, I think that sometimes there is a line between being honest and being hurtful. We have good intentions, but sometimes what we say just comes out really really wrong, and people interpret things differently. I also think there's some degree of a need-to-know basis when it comes to being honest.
Let me give you an example: I love the tv show Sherlock. I also love the two starring actors in said show (Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch, for those back home and/or living under a rock). If I were ever blessed enough to get the opportunity to meet them (hey, a girl can dream, right?), of course I would tell them things like "Hi, I love your work on Sherlock, and I love your passion and humility for your job, it's really inspiring, you have an extraordinary amount of talent, etc" (Which is all very true, by the way). Would I go on to say that I find them both incredibly attractive and secretly hope that they would retire to the States and live in my kitchen and play with my cats? Um...no, probably not. Like I said: need. to. know. basis.
I apologize for my silly and fangirl struck example, but what I'm getting at is this: I appreciate people and their insatiable need to be honest, but a rule of thumb for me is to ask this: is what I am about to tell this person going to build them up, help them become better, or is it going to bring them down? Because if you know you're going to hurt someone with your words, it's probably better to just not say anything at all. Another thing: if you absolutely MUST get the truth out, try to find a way to word it in a way that won't come across as hurtful. And sometimes, if people WANT a brush with honesty......they'll ask for it. Bottom line: think before we speak.
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. ~James 1:19
Kelly: The beauty of being a twin is that we have differing opinions on soooo many aspects of life and we respect each other's opinion. This is one of those aspects in which our opinions differ. (and 3 DAYS LATER I pick back up on this....wow.) For me, I feel that when someone asks you to be honest with them, you are always taking a risk. Taking that risk because what you say may make them mad. Or hurt their feelings. Or awaken them.
But what happens if they DON'T ask and the truth just comes out? How do you deal with the blow that may come after it? Well...speaking from experience the truth comes out when the timing just wasn't good. In fact it was quite crappy. You have to realize that when you're speaking the truth you shouldn't be intending to hurt someone on purpose. I've been asked "well why don't you just not say it?" How am I supposed to know what I say will hurt someone? Again, goes back to taking a risk. I feel that if the timing is right the truth should come out, regardless. Once again, speaking from experience, I know that sometimes I need somebody to be brutally honest with me but I don't necessarily ask for it. I feel that sometimes honesty shouldn't be prompted, harsh truth I apologize. But I also feel that it is ok to ask for that brutal honesty. I'm so indecisive on this issue...truth is it's all arbitrary.
Here's another take on the issue that we did not discuss; being honest with yourself. Having a conscious. Making a promise to complete something then not going forth with it. That can hurt sometimes too. I know when I do that I feel disappointed. Like I let myself down. I think that's almost worse than letting someone else down. The saying is true...you are your own worst critique. It's easy to look in the mirror and feel good about yourself when you look good, but man....I think it's even easier to tear yourself down. Folks, that is just not healthy. At all. And what's also sad is that I do not know how we can stop that. I have no shred of advice of how we can stop tearing ourselves down. That's a sad truth for me to admit. But for now, I think that something we can all do is think. Think about others in our lives. Take that risk if they ask for honesty; be wary if they don't. But for goodness sake let's be honest with ourselves too! Hold onto what we say we're going to do or want to do and do it! If we don't or if we screw up, think, pray, reflect and try again. :]
Let me give you an example: I love the tv show Sherlock. I also love the two starring actors in said show (Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch, for those back home and/or living under a rock). If I were ever blessed enough to get the opportunity to meet them (hey, a girl can dream, right?), of course I would tell them things like "Hi, I love your work on Sherlock, and I love your passion and humility for your job, it's really inspiring, you have an extraordinary amount of talent, etc" (Which is all very true, by the way). Would I go on to say that I find them both incredibly attractive and secretly hope that they would retire to the States and live in my kitchen and play with my cats? Um...no, probably not. Like I said: need. to. know. basis.
I apologize for my silly and fangirl struck example, but what I'm getting at is this: I appreciate people and their insatiable need to be honest, but a rule of thumb for me is to ask this: is what I am about to tell this person going to build them up, help them become better, or is it going to bring them down? Because if you know you're going to hurt someone with your words, it's probably better to just not say anything at all. Another thing: if you absolutely MUST get the truth out, try to find a way to word it in a way that won't come across as hurtful. And sometimes, if people WANT a brush with honesty......they'll ask for it. Bottom line: think before we speak.
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. ~James 1:19
Kelly: The beauty of being a twin is that we have differing opinions on soooo many aspects of life and we respect each other's opinion. This is one of those aspects in which our opinions differ. (and 3 DAYS LATER I pick back up on this....wow.) For me, I feel that when someone asks you to be honest with them, you are always taking a risk. Taking that risk because what you say may make them mad. Or hurt their feelings. Or awaken them.
But what happens if they DON'T ask and the truth just comes out? How do you deal with the blow that may come after it? Well...speaking from experience the truth comes out when the timing just wasn't good. In fact it was quite crappy. You have to realize that when you're speaking the truth you shouldn't be intending to hurt someone on purpose. I've been asked "well why don't you just not say it?" How am I supposed to know what I say will hurt someone? Again, goes back to taking a risk. I feel that if the timing is right the truth should come out, regardless. Once again, speaking from experience, I know that sometimes I need somebody to be brutally honest with me but I don't necessarily ask for it. I feel that sometimes honesty shouldn't be prompted, harsh truth I apologize. But I also feel that it is ok to ask for that brutal honesty. I'm so indecisive on this issue...truth is it's all arbitrary.
Here's another take on the issue that we did not discuss; being honest with yourself. Having a conscious. Making a promise to complete something then not going forth with it. That can hurt sometimes too. I know when I do that I feel disappointed. Like I let myself down. I think that's almost worse than letting someone else down. The saying is true...you are your own worst critique. It's easy to look in the mirror and feel good about yourself when you look good, but man....I think it's even easier to tear yourself down. Folks, that is just not healthy. At all. And what's also sad is that I do not know how we can stop that. I have no shred of advice of how we can stop tearing ourselves down. That's a sad truth for me to admit. But for now, I think that something we can all do is think. Think about others in our lives. Take that risk if they ask for honesty; be wary if they don't. But for goodness sake let's be honest with ourselves too! Hold onto what we say we're going to do or want to do and do it! If we don't or if we screw up, think, pray, reflect and try again. :]
Friday, October 19, 2012
Tips for being happy, healthy and wholesome!
Holly and Kelly: It never fails that over and over again we get asked how we maintain a positive attitude. If you know us, you notice that we are usually have very bubbly personalities. Sure we get angry, sad and stressed and we don't automatically dismiss them when those emotions come along. Our personalities have often been described as "contagious." The secret to how? We have compiled a list of "how Holly and Kelly carry their contagious positive attitudes" on a seemingly daily basis. Now we are not robots. Some of these things are harder/easier than some, and we fall constantly in one or more of these things. But we're really trying to make an effort.
Take intiative. Take a chance. Sometimes that means you have to pick up the slack. I struggle with this a lot, especially at my job. There's a pile, no...a MOUNTAIN of dirty dishes in the sink. Nobody is assigned to clean the kitchen at my job; we have an honor system...that usually works. Sometimes it crashes and burns. But what do you do? Leave someone else to do it? Assume someone else will take care of it? Yeah I do that sometimes. But other times I just do it myself. Then you always feel better when it's done.
ASK for help when you need it. Face to face! This simple truth took me 9 semesters of college to reach. It's a pride thing, for sure. Since I've taken this 100 level Biology class, I've learned more by going outside of class and talking things over that I don't understand. It makes me more confident. And confidence=happiness.
Make a plan and stick with it. Seriously. What I've been doing in regards of school work is writing weekly to-do lists and crossing things off as I finish. I wish I would have done this last year during my hardest year of school. But better late than never. Also, Holly and I are planning on returning to Europe in 2015 (our 25th birthday European hullabaloo). We've ALREADY started planning....like little stupid things. But hey. Little stupid things turn into great big things if you keep building on them!
Pray. Constantly. Not just for the bad things but praise for the good. And be honest with God. You ain't going to hurt His feelings! If you're happy, tell Him. If you're pissed off, tell Him. If you're unsure about what He's doing in your life, tell Him. I feel like God was real with us when He sent His son Jesus to die for us; I feel it's the least we can do.
Pace yourself. This is the one who tries to do 666634513049852341452345819574 things on a daily basis. It's so easy to get caught up in this, that the other and XYZ and heeeey macarena that you're on the floor at the end of the day collapsed with exhaustion. This holds true for me with my ankle problems; i INSIST that I can do all the things! I have to remind myself that sometimes I have to take a step back, slow down and just take a break. I relate this also to academia; I'm slow. Not a slow reader, but slow as in the MASTER PROCRASTINATOR. So like my weekly to-do lists, I also write to start something earlier than its due. Saves me a lot of cramming and disappointment when I get that paper back that I worked on the night before and see how crappy it really is. Been there, done that. Not doing it anymore.
Say "no" sometimes. And this is hard. This is really hard because I am such a people person and I love hanging out with others and having fun. My friends mean the world to me and I love spending time with them. But if you know you have something due or if you're just too busy, you may not get to do those fun things. Or if you don't have the MONEY to do those fun things because you've got those bills due that aren't going to go away. Ever. This has been especially hard for us this year since we're on our own now, but it gets easier. It does.
Don't settle for anything less than your best in ALL areas of your life. Yes, this means I've had to be ok with "D's" sometimes because I walked out of there knowing I did my best. I always tell people "yeah I'm not a straight A student and I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. But you bet your bottom dollar I will work SO HARD and will never give you anything less than 110%." Easier said than done, but the outcomes definitely outweigh all the tears and blood spilled to get to those outcomes.
Be open minded. I really don't think I need to go into any more detail.
TRY!!!!! When we were younger, our mom would always make us trying food before we decided we didn't like it. And we have kept that same mentality now that we are in our 20's. You never know unless you try. Sure your photograph didn't win the contest. Doesn't mean you should stop photographing. Giving up and quitting has never done any good for me. If I had given up my dream of going to Berea, I'd be probably still living at home going to a local college. And I'd be miserable. If I hadn't listened to my friend when she gave me the GlobaLinks catalog, I NEVER would have discovered Scotland. What's the worst that can happen? Or be like me (Holly) and take that crazy risk and be a Mary Kay consultant!!! I've only been going at it a week and I have SO MANY ideas and so much support and I can't wait to see what God is going to do with this thing that I have now.
See people. I like faces. I have fostered some of the best relationships here at Berea simply by putting myself out there. Going to a new church with a new denomination. Going abroad. Being AT Berea exposes you to so many different people, and I hid most of my freshmen year because I wasn't used to well...everyone being all up in your business. Then I realized that not all people want to be all up in your business; they just want to love you and they want you to do the same.
Act and don't just speak. We have based this largely on our new healthy habits plan. For years we would tell ourselves "we should eat healthier" or "let's try this exercising thing" or whatever. We would try those new habits and new exercises for a while, then slowly slip back into our old routines. Finally, this May, we made it simpler and made goals more attainable. The results have spoken VOLUME. We feel better, we're not as tired during the day, we have more energy, our clothes are fitting looser, and we hold each other accountable and keep each other on track. And we don't get bent out of shape if we slip; we get back up and start trying.
Fake it. This is similar to just trying. Some of the times when you see me and I'm happy and bubbly that does not mean I woke up that way. I used to be miss crabby face when I would get up in the morning, but I faked being happy and cheerful. And eventually me faking be happy and cheerful turned me into a happy cheerful person. This happened in BME a lot when our fearless leader would say if we didn't feel like singing or worshipping, fake it. Eventually you just would get lost in the music and let God open up your mind and heart that you would really feel it and let Him in. If I wake up in the morning and I'm tired or grumpy for some reason, I just tell myself: "I do not have to feel this way. It is not going to do me any good to be a Debby downer for the rest of the day. I am going to at least TRY to smile and be happy." Then I pray. It is amazing that when I try this how I change from the beginning of the day to the end of the day. Friends, this isn't always easy. In fact, it's never easy. But it is worth it.
Get up and MOVE every once in a while. Kelly and I do something that EVERY SINGLE PERSON should know how to do (unless you're a baby): walk. We walk. Every day. Not for long, but still, it's something, it's exercise, it's our time to talk and catch up and just connect with the outside world and nature and God. If you're on a track to lose weight it is absolutely imperative that you exercise!!! Changing your diet alone does not work! (Trust me, we've tried). And Kelly and I don't even need to lose weight, we're just simply trying to be healthier. If you're physically healthy, then all the other "healths" will be strengthened too.
Take a break. I made a New Year's Resolution back when I was still in school that when times got stressful, break out into bad dancing. Obnoxious pop music optional. Sometimes while I'm cooking, or at work standing in the hallway with a dog, or just sitting in the living room I blast loud music and just start dancing and acting stupid. It's a great release! (Kind of goes hand in hand with getting up and moving.....). Sometimes you just have to break down your barriers and walls and just act stupid with no regards. We shouldn't take ourselves too seriously!
Well there you have it. Secret's out! It ain't rocket science.
Take intiative. Take a chance. Sometimes that means you have to pick up the slack. I struggle with this a lot, especially at my job. There's a pile, no...a MOUNTAIN of dirty dishes in the sink. Nobody is assigned to clean the kitchen at my job; we have an honor system...that usually works. Sometimes it crashes and burns. But what do you do? Leave someone else to do it? Assume someone else will take care of it? Yeah I do that sometimes. But other times I just do it myself. Then you always feel better when it's done.
ASK for help when you need it. Face to face! This simple truth took me 9 semesters of college to reach. It's a pride thing, for sure. Since I've taken this 100 level Biology class, I've learned more by going outside of class and talking things over that I don't understand. It makes me more confident. And confidence=happiness.
Make a plan and stick with it. Seriously. What I've been doing in regards of school work is writing weekly to-do lists and crossing things off as I finish. I wish I would have done this last year during my hardest year of school. But better late than never. Also, Holly and I are planning on returning to Europe in 2015 (our 25th birthday European hullabaloo). We've ALREADY started planning....like little stupid things. But hey. Little stupid things turn into great big things if you keep building on them!
Pray. Constantly. Not just for the bad things but praise for the good. And be honest with God. You ain't going to hurt His feelings! If you're happy, tell Him. If you're pissed off, tell Him. If you're unsure about what He's doing in your life, tell Him. I feel like God was real with us when He sent His son Jesus to die for us; I feel it's the least we can do.
Pace yourself. This is the one who tries to do 666634513049852341452345819574 things on a daily basis. It's so easy to get caught up in this, that the other and XYZ and heeeey macarena that you're on the floor at the end of the day collapsed with exhaustion. This holds true for me with my ankle problems; i INSIST that I can do all the things! I have to remind myself that sometimes I have to take a step back, slow down and just take a break. I relate this also to academia; I'm slow. Not a slow reader, but slow as in the MASTER PROCRASTINATOR. So like my weekly to-do lists, I also write to start something earlier than its due. Saves me a lot of cramming and disappointment when I get that paper back that I worked on the night before and see how crappy it really is. Been there, done that. Not doing it anymore.
Say "no" sometimes. And this is hard. This is really hard because I am such a people person and I love hanging out with others and having fun. My friends mean the world to me and I love spending time with them. But if you know you have something due or if you're just too busy, you may not get to do those fun things. Or if you don't have the MONEY to do those fun things because you've got those bills due that aren't going to go away. Ever. This has been especially hard for us this year since we're on our own now, but it gets easier. It does.
Don't settle for anything less than your best in ALL areas of your life. Yes, this means I've had to be ok with "D's" sometimes because I walked out of there knowing I did my best. I always tell people "yeah I'm not a straight A student and I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. But you bet your bottom dollar I will work SO HARD and will never give you anything less than 110%." Easier said than done, but the outcomes definitely outweigh all the tears and blood spilled to get to those outcomes.
Be open minded. I really don't think I need to go into any more detail.
TRY!!!!! When we were younger, our mom would always make us trying food before we decided we didn't like it. And we have kept that same mentality now that we are in our 20's. You never know unless you try. Sure your photograph didn't win the contest. Doesn't mean you should stop photographing. Giving up and quitting has never done any good for me. If I had given up my dream of going to Berea, I'd be probably still living at home going to a local college. And I'd be miserable. If I hadn't listened to my friend when she gave me the GlobaLinks catalog, I NEVER would have discovered Scotland. What's the worst that can happen? Or be like me (Holly) and take that crazy risk and be a Mary Kay consultant!!! I've only been going at it a week and I have SO MANY ideas and so much support and I can't wait to see what God is going to do with this thing that I have now.
See people. I like faces. I have fostered some of the best relationships here at Berea simply by putting myself out there. Going to a new church with a new denomination. Going abroad. Being AT Berea exposes you to so many different people, and I hid most of my freshmen year because I wasn't used to well...everyone being all up in your business. Then I realized that not all people want to be all up in your business; they just want to love you and they want you to do the same.
Act and don't just speak. We have based this largely on our new healthy habits plan. For years we would tell ourselves "we should eat healthier" or "let's try this exercising thing" or whatever. We would try those new habits and new exercises for a while, then slowly slip back into our old routines. Finally, this May, we made it simpler and made goals more attainable. The results have spoken VOLUME. We feel better, we're not as tired during the day, we have more energy, our clothes are fitting looser, and we hold each other accountable and keep each other on track. And we don't get bent out of shape if we slip; we get back up and start trying.
Fake it. This is similar to just trying. Some of the times when you see me and I'm happy and bubbly that does not mean I woke up that way. I used to be miss crabby face when I would get up in the morning, but I faked being happy and cheerful. And eventually me faking be happy and cheerful turned me into a happy cheerful person. This happened in BME a lot when our fearless leader would say if we didn't feel like singing or worshipping, fake it. Eventually you just would get lost in the music and let God open up your mind and heart that you would really feel it and let Him in. If I wake up in the morning and I'm tired or grumpy for some reason, I just tell myself: "I do not have to feel this way. It is not going to do me any good to be a Debby downer for the rest of the day. I am going to at least TRY to smile and be happy." Then I pray. It is amazing that when I try this how I change from the beginning of the day to the end of the day. Friends, this isn't always easy. In fact, it's never easy. But it is worth it.
Get up and MOVE every once in a while. Kelly and I do something that EVERY SINGLE PERSON should know how to do (unless you're a baby): walk. We walk. Every day. Not for long, but still, it's something, it's exercise, it's our time to talk and catch up and just connect with the outside world and nature and God. If you're on a track to lose weight it is absolutely imperative that you exercise!!! Changing your diet alone does not work! (Trust me, we've tried). And Kelly and I don't even need to lose weight, we're just simply trying to be healthier. If you're physically healthy, then all the other "healths" will be strengthened too.
Take a break. I made a New Year's Resolution back when I was still in school that when times got stressful, break out into bad dancing. Obnoxious pop music optional. Sometimes while I'm cooking, or at work standing in the hallway with a dog, or just sitting in the living room I blast loud music and just start dancing and acting stupid. It's a great release! (Kind of goes hand in hand with getting up and moving.....). Sometimes you just have to break down your barriers and walls and just act stupid with no regards. We shouldn't take ourselves too seriously!
Well there you have it. Secret's out! It ain't rocket science.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)